Friday, March 19, 2010


Today I wore all black and it felt really good. I let my hair hang down over my face and I walked with a bit of a hunch and I held my arms limply to the sides. It was if I was disappearing, but everyone was watching me do it. No one would ever dream of asking my name or even saying excuse me if we knocked shoulders... Yet every one of them knew I existed. I was a shadow with a shadow.
I haven't done the whole black-thing in years. Within my years of high school, I moved out of the Goth look and into a world of neon and jewel tones. It's much more exciting now. More variety and more possiblilities. With the Goth look, the only colors you can wear are black, black, a little red, more black, and maybe some random colorful accents from time to time. Now, I can have an entire outfit made from purple and orange. The next day, I can wear all maroon. There are days when I dress like a rainbow. It's very fun. Of course, there's always the fact that I do NOT have a goth personality whatsoever. No wonder I did not feel fulfilled that way.

An outfit idea I've always wanted to try is when I dress as a rainbow from head to toe. Red hat, orange sunglasses and necklace, yellow shirt, green skirt, blue pants, purple shoes. I have a green skirt, a yellow shirt, an orange necklace, blue pants... still need the glasses, hat, and shoes... But it's definitely doable. I'll take a picture when I finally get the outfit together.

By the way, are you wondering at all about those self-portrait shots I put up the other day?
It's become a hobby of mine to take pictures of myself in various outfits and styles, touch them up on picnik, and just keep them as expressive artworks for me to enjoy. Some, of course, are better than others, but they all say something about my personality, methinks. I'm on a personal self-discovery these days, so the image always seems to change. In particular, I like the autumnal shot with some leaves in my hair. That was a totally accidental look. I stuck them in my hair one autumn day as my roommates and I were coming back from the creamery. My roommates wondered why I put them there, but when I got home, I quickly shot a picture of myself and I thought I looked pretty good. So I kept them. That with the red coat and the choker makes the whole thing look, well, fall.

The jealousy one is kind of cool, too. I don't think I look my best in it (I never look my best in pictures), but I love the color of that crocheted poncho top and the photoshopped eyes. I also like the Charlotte Russe headpiece with the eyenet. A purple feather hair accent on top completes that ensemble.

Look Into the Beyond is a Trelawney reference. I was her for a costume party a few weeks ago and I loved loved LOVED the tousled hair with scarf look. It's SO seventies! The costume as a whole was a success, though I think I look better without the glasses.

Finally, the GAGA/Warhol-esque tribute with the sunglasses and blue lips is just a blast of artistic expression, no real meaning behind it... The eyenet returns.

Okay, this is a long and tangential entry. A tangentry? Yes! Exactly! A tangentry. Point is, I liked going back to black today. Can't wait to do it again.

Listening to: Better Than Ezra, "Misunderstood"
Things Going on Today: New Testament test (92%), Glow-in-the-Dark Dance; I'm not going because I am the only one in my dorm who doesn't have a cool shirt. It's important to me. It's like a symbol of how I feel among them. Different. (see blog entry: On being different than everybody else)

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