Friday, June 25, 2010

Dr. Brennan dreams this week.

Okay weirdest, most passionate dream I've had in a while last night.
I dreamt I was over at the Deavens and they had an even younger brother who was fifteen years old, a sketch artist, and SO HOT. I dreamt somewhere along the line I got knocked out and when I woke up, he was hovering over my head saying "Baby, you okay?" Turns out I had had sex with the man and fainted in the process. So for the rest of the dream I was following him around, wanting to have sex with him again. I didn't even for a minute think about how it was totally illegal for me -- a nineteen year old woman -- to have sexual relations with a fifteen-year-old. But then he told me "I'm running away to Chicago and we'll never see each other again." And that killed me. It killed his family, too. All this time they were pining at the decisions made by this little brother -- I think his name was Troy. So I tried asking Troy if he loved his family one day when he needed to close a window down in his basement bedroom. He was in a hurry, because another young teenage friend was just outside waiting for him. He answered "Yes, and no." I also asked Troy why I had fainted and gotten amnesia, and he insisted that it was his amazing sex that did it. He was almost proud of it. And then I decided to pretend to faint again just to see whether or not he would respond. I heard him go over it in his head. "Okay... last time, what did I do? I got my sister, laid over her head and called her baby. Yes, that did it." So he did that. That's when I pretended to come to and said in a slurred voice, "I'm not your baby." And he kept saying yes you are! That's when I left him. Got in the car with my sister, and tried to drive for home. Except county road 13 was all blocked off. Apparently there was some new security logistics I had to pass through. My cousin riley was there. We had to take off our shoes and walk this maze made out of cardboard. It was small and relatively easy but the pathways were so thin and flimsy I just knew one of us was going to fall right through. So I tried cheating. I tried hopping from path to path until the end. That almost got me disqualified so then I went back and tried sliding on my butt all the way across. I was the last person to finish, and I was complaining the whole time. "What about people with bad vision perception?" I asked. "They wouldn't be driving 13 to begin with!" Someone said. "Okay, what about the people who don't work well under pressure? Or the morbidly obese! Pretty sure this thing is about to give way under me and I'm only 135 pounds!" I felt like a black woman with 'tude. They kept saying we had to do this. When I was finally done, I went over to a security woman and asked, "Why is there so much ridiculous security on this road?" And she answered, "See that skull tattoo on my hand? That's the mark of Seely Booth. He instigated this process. Then I said, "Well, I'm Temperance Brennan." "How do you do, Dr?" The woman responded, suddenly very respectful. "I'm fine, but I'm going to have a word with Booth about this. This is ridiculous." I responded. Then I left, and by that time I was waking up.

I had another dream where I was Temperance Brennan. I was running away from my father, who was a high-and-mighty politician. I ran all the way to the junior high school and my best friend was there (I don't think she exists in real life). She led me to a car which was actually a trap laid by my father. So I ran away and found my boyfriend, who looked like Elder Walley, and we flew off together... literally flew. We flew over the trees and the buildings and suddenly we were in Canada and it was dark and snowy. We stopped in a little wooden attic and there we had oral sex. I looked in a mirror and saw Dr. Brennan.

I keep seeing myself as Dr. Brennan in my dreams. Do I see her as myself? Obviously I'm also horny because all my dreams are about sex. Who can decide what they dream though? I guess I can decide not to talk about it... but I didn't.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A Dress A Day Keeps the Demons at Bay

Originally posted on Outward Expression.

I have bought a dress every day for the past three days. All of them were on sale, however, and all of them were under $20. One was $6. Unfortunately, none of them were vintage, but I love them all the same.

This first one was purchased at the Minneapolis Farmer's Market. It was made in India and is 100% cotton. It is white with black stencil-styled flowers and has lace detail and buttons with a tiered full skirt. It twirls beautifully. I love this dress. For some reason, it has a Victorian feel to me, even though anyone who wore this during Victorian times would be told immediately to put on some proper clothes. It's probably the combination of buttons, lace, and a full skirt.
The second dress was a Target sale-rack find. It is a classic wrap dress in a beautiful, bold teal. The waist is a little high, as is often the case with Target dresses for some reason, but I really like it all the same. This was the $6 dress. I like not only the look of wrap dresses, but also the ease of taking them off and putting them on.

This last dress I got at TJMax. It's a strapless, button up dress with a tie in the back. I love the color and the rose pattern.


Originally Posted on Outward Expression.

I think bustiers are a lost art, honestly. Sure, they're not comfortable, or practical, but I feel sexy and sophisticated when wearing one. I got this one at Target yesterday for $6 (it was on the 30% off rack, and I was curious). I really like it, and now i have something to wear under dresses that gives me a nicer shape than I usually have.


Okay I really could go on and on about how I feel about ALEJANDRO... And since I've got the whole day ahead of me, I think I will.

0:00 -- GAGA.
Okay, already I can tell this Lady thinks a lot about herself as an icon and a household name. Why else would she have such a title such as GAGAKLEIN: ALEJANDRO. She's playing off her fame and her iconic figure. Part of me thinks, "how prudish." Another part of me thinks, "Well, she IS an icon, after all." So I don't know.
0:07 -- Boys in Fishnets?
I DON'T GET some of the scenes in this video. This is one of them. Some of them look like drag queens, others like Nazis. What's the connection? In the meantime, though, I realize that boys just don't belong in fishnets and high heels. This is the first of many motifs Gaga uses to create shock value. That's pretty much what the entire music video is... one shocking scene after another to get recognized and to make waves.
0:22 -- Bar?
Where are these guys anyway? And WHO are they? I keep seeing the same people over and over again and I am assuming they all have names. What is the significance of this?? Why, again, are they dressed like Nazis?
0:41 -- Military Men
Okay so I might get the symbolism of this: Perhaps its the pride and militancy of the gay community? Gaga talked a lot about that before the video came out. She said it was about her love of the gays and how pure her friendships were with gay men. But I'm having trouble seeing this in the video. So I'm taking a wild guess. These guys look like military personell. The choreography is very firm, very strong. But why, then, does it look so negative?
1:01 -- What are they wearing?
What are these guys wearing? What's with the strange Jewish Cross machine type thing and those other weird metal accessories?
1:05 -- The music finally begins.
This musical line from Czardas plays waaaay too many times at the beginning. In the meantime, though, that is an amazing outfit she's got on. Probably my favorite in the whole video.
1:10 -- Her heart.
This, I'm guessing, is her heart. They're holding a funeral of some sort, but is it for her? I don't think so... I'm guessing it's for her heart. She stands in the procession and says that line, "I know that we are young and I know that you may love me, but I just can't be with you like this anymore, Alejandro." Is this because her heart has been broken? Or eaten? Or turned to stone? Hmmm....
1:15 -- Coffin.
For whom? She's standing right there, so it can't be hers! Is it for her heart? Not very logical... so who's in the coffin?
PS This scene reminds me very much of the music video for "The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. The snowy, ashy landscape, the funeral march, the militant aesthetic.
1:23 -- Mansion
Is this her mansion? Is she queen over something? Are those guys standing around her her bodyguards of sorts? It's a beautiful scene, but what does it mean? And the marching noises in the background? Is it supposed to mean anything? With GAGA, you can never tell what sort of messages she's trying to convey...
1:45 -- Who died?
Perhaps it was Alejandro who was in the coffin? What a beautiful scene this is!
1:53 -- Evandro
So apparently, this guys name is Evandro. Which is interesting because there was never an Evandro mentioned in the song. The guy's cute, though the chain that comes down on his chin is kind of annoying and he most definitely looks like a queer. (Interesting placement of gun on his lap...) What is HIS significance? He's on a bed that looks like it's held up by lines of some sort... And still the military-esque uniform. What is going on? I suppose thus far it's just a montage of images that later will be explained.
2:05 -- Alex McQueen
That's an Alexander McQueen headpiece she's wearing, and it's gorgeous. I love "the look" she puts on in this video... little eye makeup, bowl cut, pale skin. It's cool. She talks funny in this video, though. Her teeth poke out a little too much. She has REALLY changed since she began with The Fame. Once again, those lines, what do they mean at this point? Who is she really talking to?
2:20 -- The music finally starts!
I love this image of her with the pipe, overlooking her little dancer minions, though I don't quite get what it is she's doing, looking at them while they have a little circle fight dance thing down there. Is she an overseer to some gay brothel? Does she love those men? Are those men fighting over her? Is she observing as they try to live in harmony but end up falling into war and pain? What is with all this SYMBOLISM???
2:34 -- Crown
I love this crown thingy she wears with the bug eye things! She is a work of art in this scene. The way she moves herself as she sings, the makeup she wears, it's all sort of minimalistic in nature. So cool.
2:45 -- Very little makeup.
Gaga's got very little makeup around her eyes, which is in extreme contrast to her Telephone video, where she had almost too much. Her lips, though, are still very red. I'm surprised they never stain her teeth as she sings. It's robotic, almost, the way she moves her mouth.
2:48 -- Background
What's with the flaming screen in the background? I hardly noticed that until now... It's like the same fire/fight scene we see much later in the video. What does this symbolize? A gay rally gone awry? I keep thinking it's got something to do with the gays because she kept SAYING it had something to do with the gays. I really couldn't tell otherwise!
3:39 -- Ouch.
Fighting going on... but what for?
3:42 -- The ever-controversial Nun outfit
First of all, everyone says that nun habit looks "sexy." No it doesn't. Not really. Her face is way too pale, no hair, it's made of latex... how is that sexy? Granted, it is definitely a perversion of what otherwise would be a holy garment. I'll get to that whole thing later. I just want to say now that the habit is NOT very flattering on her. Though the lighting of it is great, it gives almost a purple quality to the red of her heart and of this habit.
What's happening here, I wonder? She keeps saying "just let me go" and she looks awful distressed. Is she trapped in that bed? There's still those wires everywhere and she's got a lot of religious imagery around her. I read an article about how gaga's religious imagery symbolizes the sacrificial air of the Catholic church. Some churches are "happy churches" where it's all about loving god and praising yourself. But there are other churches that require you to note the pain and the bad things that are in the world... the weaknesses in yourself. Catholics are a good example of this, and Gaga's lyrics all have this sort of self-hate aesthetic to them. So this is a really good example of that. Moving on...
3:52 -- Sex
What is this? They look like a bunch of hospital beds (once again, MCR). And she's wearing such ugly underwear (no offense, Calvin Klein). I think this is another attempt at shock value. "Let's add some sex in to make people gasp some more!"
Erotically speaking, this looks painful and it involves bondage. Some people have a fetish for that stuff, I guess, but I don't. And all the guys are wearing those high heels again... not natural. Seeing all this sex stuff juxtaposed with the "purity" of the nun habit makes me wonder if GagaKlein is trying to compare the pure to the ugly, the bitter and the sweet part of a person.
4:14 -- I don't know what to think about these men...
They've all got beatles cuts, they're all very gay, dancing like girls. They're wearing supertight short shorts and military boots... not in the least attractive, the lot of them, including Gaga. This video sure doesn't flatter anyone.
4:19 -- Choreography
I'm impressed. Particularly because Gaga can keep track of the words she's supposed to sing in the meantime. That looks like very intricate dancing. What I love is that some of the guys look more girly when they dance like this than Gaga does... perhaps that's the point.
Furthermore, Gaga is a SKINNY MINNIE!!!
4:42 -- Lots of touching....
Okay so if this is supposed to be about the gay community, why are all the guys feeling her up when she's a woman?
5:02 -- This is interesting...
First of all, cool flesh-tone heel-less nightwalker shoes, Gaga. But what are you doing dressed in a priestess's robe amongst all these homosexual men... who eventually make you take your clothes off? And throughout all this you have that same burning rally in the background.
Perhaps this is your movement from the pure to the unholy. Either way, you look quite like a mix of Joan of Arc and Eva Peron in this part.
5:15 -- Eating the Rosary
I guess I'll talk about the whole religious controversey now. I really didn't mind it that much when I saw it... but of course, I'm not catholic, nor do I esteem Catholic imagery as holy. If she were... say, humping a picture of Joseph Smith or making fun of temple covenants, I would DEFINITELY be offended. So in that sense, I'm a bit hypocritical.
Of course, seeing an upside down cross on Gaga's crotch was definitely shocking, it wasn't necessarily offensive to me. What was more offensive were the sex simulation scenes and the homosexual undertones... Why are people making such a big deal about mere symbols when there's actual satanic behavior going on right in front of them? I think we're missing the target here, people.
In the meantime, I also understand that there IS a method to Gaga's madness. She's trying to prove something. It may be her confusion she is currently experiencing when it comes to religion. It may be, as I said before, a tragic story about her loss of purity. It may just be something for people to talk about. I'm almost certain she added the Catholic imagery in for pure shock value. It gets people talking, just like her weird clothes and her bold personality. She likes being noticed, even if it's for things that aren't exactly positive. What I think we need to remember as viewers is that this is all for the sake of "art." Lady Gaga is all about artistic expression... even to extremes. So no, it's not bashing the Catholics, it's not forsaking her religious past, it's just art. Kind of like the naked statues we see that are done by ancient greeks... is it porn? NO! It's ART. Keep it at that level, and there shouldn't be more to worry about. And if you are uncomfortable with it, don't watch it. It's okay to not expose yourself to what you think is evil. I probably shouldn't be watching this myself, as a Mormon. Anyway... I'm getting off this soapbox now, and moving to another one... haha
This part made me cry the first time I saw it. It is SO madonna. It is SO michael Jackson. It is SO iconic. This is probably the thing we will see when we think of Lady Gaga in fifty years. She's wearing pretty normal clothes, still bold, but normal. A classic bowl cut. And she's just dancing. She looks BEAUTIFUL here. I love watching this!
And they even change the Alejandro chorus by taking out the percussion, so it's something we've never heard before. Genius.
6:20 -- Also very Madonna esque, a gun bra.
It didn't even register to me that those were guns the first time I saw it. This is also a very iconic part of the video. The dancing is very well coordinated, and yes, there is definitely some homage (or maybe it's mockery?) of madonna going on here.
6:37 -- another Musical surprise
This time they leave nothing but the percussion. And we see Gaga as an almost gangster looking person with the leather jacket and the glasses and the microphone. We don't see Lady Gaga actually "performing" on a stage with a microphone in her videos (the only one I can think of is Just Dance) so this is interesting. And she's doing it behind a cross, which is more interesting. And when you get this with a bunch of juxtaposed images of her with a guy on a bed, and then the rosary, it makes you wonder what she's trying to say.
Say, I think she's performing in that room that all the guys were in at the beginning! I hadn't made that connection until now! She's performing for the men in that bar! Perhaps that's the bar that's burning down on the screen over and over again? A gay bar? Two and two begin to come together....
7:02 -- Who is this guy?
Who is this guy? Is this the famous Alejandro? What is he doing? He looks like a police officer... amidst this firey scene. Is he just watching as carnage wreaks before him? Is he being a brutal police officer to a bunch of lesbians? Or is he beginning to see the error of his prejudistic ways? Or is it something completely different? (once again, I'm working off of what lady gaga has actually said about the video... gay pride) Is he watching as Gaga gets molested by all thes beatles-cut dudes? What is with this guy? Why is he here at the climactic part of the video? Is he the same guy we saw at the beginning at the bar? Who is he?
He's cute... that's for sure.
Is this firey rally the same as the fight Gaga seems to be having with all the guys. She does seem to be putting up a fight with them.
7:41 -- All the different parts of the video come together in this part... the microphone scene, the nun, the military men, the fire, the fight, the madonna dance.
7:56 -- They're throwing her around... why?
So she's in this symbolically holy garb, they make her take it off and she's naked... touched, fought over, naked... what does this mean? Perhaps she's showing how she feels around straight men. Like how all the good is taken out of her and she's left with nothing but an object, a body.
8:24 -- The last image we see is that Evandro guy again, and her in the bed with the nun habit. And then her face kind of burns up... something I didn't see coming. She sort of became a monster then, which is the theme of this whole album she's created. The pure died. The monster emerged.

SO... Now I'll show you and tell you what GAGA has said about the video:

On Larry King:
In fact, the Alejandro Video, which will premiere very soon... is a celebration of my love and appreciation for the Gay Community, my admiration of their bravery and their love for one another, their courage in their relationships. It's something I have yet to nail on the head with a man, Larry.

On a French Interview:
“It's about the purity of my friendships with my gay friends. And how I’ve been unable to find that with a straight man in my life.

"It’s a celebration and an admiration of gay love – it confesses my envy of the courage and bravery they require to be together. In the video I’m pining for the love of my gay friends – but they just don’t want me.”

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Glee Finale

Glee finale? Eh.
It's okay. My favorite part was the Journey Medley. Bohemian Rhapsody was good too, but mostly because Jesse St. James was in it and he was incredible. I don't care how much of a jerk he is, he's still gorgeous and a great performer.
I also liked how Quinn had her baby right as regionals happened, but it's not realistic. First off... a woman about to have a baby would not be singing and dancing all over the place... particularly for an event as stressful as a show choir regional competition. The child that was supposed to be a newly born infant looked too old.
But there were definitely some good things. I liked it that they didn't place at regionals. Although it wasn't a perfect ending, it left us with something more to look forward to next season. And there's always the strange change of heart that Sue had at the end.
Josh Groban was a great cameo as well.... although not as good as I expected.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Some things I've learned about night clubs:

1. being mormon automatically makes you stick out in a crowd. I was the only girl wearing a t-shirt and jeans in the whole place. All the other girls wore itty bitty shorts and skimpy tops. My friend Ingrid wasn't bad, at all, though. She just wore a cute little dress... but even SHE stuck out. At clubs, there is obviously an unwritten dress code. Guys wear collared shirts, girls wear sleeveless tops. Guys wear jeans... girls wear almost nothing.
I rocked a hat that everyone said looked like a cowboy hat even though it was a stinking fedora. Made me mad. I also wore some sunglasses from time to time because for some reason I gain confidence knowing that people can't see my eyes that well. But of course it was already dark in that room so wearing glasses just made things go darker. So I eventually took them off.
2. I can't dance. Not even in the least. Nothing at all like those girls who stood up on a platform in the middle of the room did. They were hardly wearing anything at all, mostly. Fishnets, bras, and underwear. I marvel at how comfortable they are with their own bodies. Even if I didn't have the limits I had, I would NEVER feel brave enough to dance like that in so little clothing. How awkward that must feel.
3. I want smoke and lazers. Bad.
4. Boys at clubs are weird. They stand there and stare but they hardly talk or make moves or anything. Girls, on the other hand, are usually all over the place. I saw more drunk women than drunk men... or maybe I saw plenty of drunk men but drunk men aren't so obvious about it. I don't know... it just seems like women feel they have to do more to get attention these days in this society... they have to dress up more, wear more makeup and do their hair, act like idiots, wear ridiculous shoes, dance all weird. Guys just have to stand there and they look cute without even trying. It's not fair.
5. My favorite part about clubs: The music. I love a pounding bass and a bunch of people dancing to a uniting beat. It's wonderful! So yeah.. highlight of the evening was the music.
That's about all.

Yeah... it's technically Friday, isn't it?
So I dreamt that Jacob invited me to his mission farewell but when I got there it was just my grandma's blue shower. That was where he gave me this checklist of things to do before he returned from his mission. One was to lose 20 pounds (I sort of freaked out at him when I read that) and another was to read D&C 44:15. After I woke up, I looked up D&C 44:15.. Doesn't exist. But there IS a 1-5. I read it, and it was alll about missionary work! REally... like to a tee. It was creepy.
So yeah. I can't wait to tell Jacob about this one if he ever finds some time to write me back.