Monday, January 24, 2011

So, Hannah... that's an interesting notebook, there.

When I was thirteen, I really liked a guy named Paul.  I was head-over-heels for him, actually.  You can call my obsession with Paul the epitome of Junior High Romance.  Girl likes boy.  Boy never even notices girl.  Girl goes crazy and heckles boy until he fears for his life... yup.

One thing I would do to make my affections known is to write the words "I LOVE PAUL" on every page of my weekly planner.  Every page.  And this wasn't just a little note in the corner.  I bought myself a set of neon Crayola markers and I completely covered the page in fancy teenage-girl writing.  Each page became a work of art, a stunning calligraphic masterpiece of "I LOVE PAUL."  After about the sixteenth page, I got bored with "I LOVE PAUL" and moved on to "PAUL IS HOT."  Then, after another ten ages, I got more creative.  "PAUL HAS AN AMAZING SMILE."  "PAUL IS AS CUTE AS A MONKEY."  "PAULY WAULY IS MY DOLLY"...
You get the idea.
Why do I bring this up?  Well I found myself bored in ASL today I started doodling and I began to write the words "I <3 MARK" on the top of my notes.  I don't think I've done that since that major Junior High crush.  I wonder if that's a reflection on how Mark makes me feel...  maybe.  The really sad news is I have never really grown up since then.  Back then, I literally stalked the men I liked, lathered at the mouth when they passed, and told everyone how amazing he was without ever talking to his face.  Now, while I'm not quite as obvious, I still find myself obsessing over boys all the freaking time.  I've scared so many men out of liking me, and oh, so quickly.  I guess I'll never learn...

Listening to:  Jay May "Snow White"
Things going on tonight:  Dinner group at Kam's, writing a song about Hamlet.  Mark isn't coming over tonight at my request because I want some quality roommate time.
Blessings:  Free food, FHE, and Deaf wards.

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