Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Heaven, Finals, and ASL

ASL Final? Don't quite know yet, but it felt good. Only a couple questions I wasn't sure about and it was a big test so yeah...

I never want to take another ASL class again!!
I've decided it needs to stay a hobbie and that's it. I've learned about a quarter of all the words out there already (it's got a pretty small vocabulary), and I can always learn the grammar in ASL FOR DUMMIES or whatever. Why take a seven o'clock class that kills my grade? I don't have to.

My goal now is to ace my book of mormon final and get 95 percent or above on my music civilization final. Doc Howard always brags about how no one has ever aced his tests... I really want to be the first one to do it. Time to hit the books.

Listening to: Looked into the Wings by Billy Gilman
Things Going on Today: Book of Mormon Final, probably at five or so,

People leaving Heritage already -- this morning I woke up at 7:00 to the bittersweet voices of the girls in the next dorm, saying goodbye to one of their early-departing roommates. Sad, yes, but happy too. I really did kind of take a temporary approach to this whole thing, particularly this semester. With members of my ward, I didn't get much deeper than a name-to-name acquaintanceship. I really got close to a couple last semester but then they just left on missions so I kind of decided not to do that again. And then my roommates kind of abandoned me when picking their future apartments which totally dashed my hopes of becoming "bosom buddies" with any of them. I'm a lone wolf, and I expect to stay a lone wolf for a while. At least until I finally find myself in a stable environment. An environment where people don't have to leave on missions or get new homes or make new friends. Maybe that's why I want to start a family so bad... Families last forever. So even if my husband dies or my son goes to college or my daughter gets married, they'll be with me forever up in that big family reunion in the sky, and that is quite the encouraging thought.

I wonder sometimes about the whole heaven thing. Yeah, I know families are forever, and I guess that is the most important thing... but I have some great friends I sort of wish I could see again. There was that guy back in fifth grade who I still am kind of in love with -- Shawn Paul, I think his name was. And there were all those friends back in high school, those families that were in my ward during my childhood who magically disappeared. I sort of want to see these people again, too. Am I allowed, up in heaven, to have a reunion with my roommates, for example? What about boys? I know I may be married to my husband, but what if my husband isn't Zack or Mark or Jacob or Devin or Mike? I'd want to still say hi to them at least... Catch up on all the stuff we did during our lifetimes after our paths separated. What if some of my friends didn't make it all the way? Could I go down and visit with them? And there's all the celebrities I want to meet! I really want to sit down and talk to Amy Lee, or Andy Warhol, or Moses, or Thomas Jefferson or MJ. Would I be allowed to do that? Talk politics or art or music with them?

Maybe none of that will matter once I get up there.
I probably shouldn't worry about it. I need to keep celestial glory as my ultimate goal, no matter what. I may not know what to expect once I get there, but I know I am guaranteed happiness if I get there. Good.

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