I'm sorry to gruel my readers with another post about romance, but it's something I've been thinking a lot about lately and I sort of feel strongly about this... I live in the land of Mormanity. Couples -- dating, engaged, married, whatever -- are EVERYWHERE. And casual PDA is rampant and pretty much acceptable in our society. Everyone's got their beef about what is appropriate and what is not. I thought I'd get my two cents in.
I have said for a long time that a couple should not hold hands until they are ACTUALLY a couple. I still stand by that rule over all. If I see two people holding hands in a public place -- while walking down the street or while sitting together in sacrament meeting -- I'd like to be able to safely assume that those two people are an item. I think holding hands is sort of a statement of ownership of a relationship. It's as if you're saying "This one is MINE, see? We're holding hands and stuff." I mean, why else would you do something as arbitrary and ridiculous as hold another person's hand? It's so pointless! You're now down one hand that you can use for other things... like maybe holding books or carrying groceries, or maybe even touching a more significant body part. The way I see it, holding hands is something you do for other people, not just your spouse or significant other. It's a public gesture used to express more private feelings.
But I'm learning not to jump too quickly to that conclusion, because it turns out that holding hands may not be as grand of a statement of affection as people might think. Nor is it only for the sake of other people.
I've had my hand held before, and while at times, it has been sort of this proclamation to the world that we are now officially TOGETHER, there have been times when I've held a person's hand and no one has been there to witness it. If holding hands is simply an act of PDA, why does this happen? Why do we hold hands when no one is watching?
I've discovered the reason why I hold someone's hand: I want that person to know he is special. Maybe we aren't a facebook-official couple, yet. Maybe we never will be. But in a moment of closeness and, well, rightness, I feel like I should hold a person's hand, regardless. He's someone I care about in particular, above others. He's important. Our relationship is important. Holding one's hand is a platonic, simple, and powerful gesture that shows feelings of particular affection and a desire for further intimacy.
Aren't there times when you feel you just HAVE to touch someone? It doesn't matter how much, you just need to have some level of physical contact with another person or you just might die. Holding hands can relieve that tension you feel. You're always touching when you're holding hands. And, let's be honest, you have to make a pretty sincere effort to STOP holding someone's hand once you've started. When your fingers are intertwined with someone else's, some considerable effort is required to unlace your fingers from the other's grasp.
There is something physically stirring about getting your hand held. The hand is one of the most sensitive parts of the body. The palm is vulnerable, thin, and soft. And the fingertips can move in the most subtle gestures and pick up the body's tiniest movements. Hands are nice things to play with, and they fit so well together. I, myself, have the tiniest hands, and when a man's bigger hands clutch at mine, I feel like I am protected and surrounded by good things. At least, my hand feels thatway. Have you ever compared a man's hand to a woman's hand? My fingers are so small and delicate, compared to those of a man. The holding of hands is almost like the merging of two very positive forces in nature: the masculine and the feminine.
Alright, I think I'm done with my holding-hand monologue. The bottom line is I have come to appreciate this gesture a little bit more than I used to. I realize now that holding hands sends just as powerful of a message within the couple as it does without.
And with that... A song!
More songs about holding hands:
"Hold my Hand" by Hootie and the Blowfish (LOVE this song.)
"Oh It Is Love" by Hellogoodbye
Listening to: "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton
Things Going On Today: No Diction Lab!
Learned: The Beatles were around in 1967. Wow. That was a long time ago.