Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Some VERY GOOD THINGS that have turned my life around today:

1. I got accepted to Brigham Young University... pretty much the only school I will let myself go to. It's like a load has been taken off my shoulders.
2. I lost my ipod today, but someone very honest found it and gave it to the librarians. I am so glad that there is good in the world. This has been a miracle.
3. I curled my hair and I think I look pretty good in it.
4. I got 80 percent on my Economics test, and I thought I did much worse than that.
5. I found this new band called the Romanovs and I really like them.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

My Hero

I shall greatly miss working with him.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Problems... Solutions... and Good Things.

I had a bit of an epiphany a few days ago...

I am not a happy person right now.
And now I know why!!

It's because I am not succeeding as much as I used to. Things that once were very easy to me are now a little harder to get. I see it in lots of areas of my life. So I think I'm going to take a minute to complain about each of my failures (or should I say, non-successes) and then think of something good about those areas... that way, I'll get a chance to vent and then a chance to think positive.
Oh, and I think I'll add possible solutions to my problems as well.

First, there's grades. Economics and Calculus are getting a little harder for me. Particularly economics, where I'm getting a solid B+... and I never get Bs. Calculus is weighted funny, so even though I have 90%, it says I have a B+. I'm panicked about them, even though I'm only a few weeks into the semester. I got a 4.0 last semester, and it felt wonderful to look at my grades and give a sigh of relief. I want to get another 4.0 again... that's my goal. But so far I'm sucking at it. A possible solution? Maybe STUDYING REALLY HARD is a good idea... maybe talk to my econ teacher about what I can do to bring my grade up. I just need to devote more time to it. And don't forget to do the homework. One good thing about my grades: I'm getting high A's in all my other classes, including physics and literature, which is a good sign. Also, it's still the beginning of the semester, so I have plenty of time to improve my scores.

Next, performance. I didn't get Lily, and now I don't get featured in Bedshaped... my favorite song we're doing in Freestyle. I'm upset. Whenever I hear other people singing the parts I want, I feel like I'm going to cry. I'm sick of being just an alto. I'm sick of being a minor part. I want to shine and get a chance to show the world what I've got before I give up performance altogether. I feel like I'm being cast aside. It's frustrating. Solutions: Work hard on Orinoco Flow, the song I'm arranging for Freestyle, so that I have something to show off at the end of the year. Also, do well as Rose and as an alto. Just do my best in all I can. Then I'll try out for Sweeney Todd this summer. Maybe then I'll get a chance to shine... Then again, maybe not. That's another solution I have. Just accept what I've got and stop complaining about what I don't have. A good thing about my performance: I WAS Jessica, and I'm IN freestyle and secret garden. Gotta remember what I do have.

Next, friends. I feel like they aren't as good of friends as they used to be. They seem to always be yelling at me and telling me to quit worrying about stuff. It's no fun being around them anymore. The friends I do want don't want to be friends with me. I don't really know what to do. What I REALLY want to do is totally start over. Make a better impression for myself. Meet some new people. But at this point, there isn't much I can do there. Solutions: Talk to people. Find opportunities to hang out and converse and socialize. Maybe tell my friends how I feel. I mean, I understand that I have problems, but if all they say is "Relax, Hannah," apparently that's not helping. Tell them that. Good thing: I got to know people in Showcase really well. And there's always the Angel, who doesn't know me at all yet, that I can still get a chance with. Keep flirting, keep working. And just hold it out until summer, when your college friends come back... and then there's college where you REALLY get to start over.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Random Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Edward who lived with his father and his dog in a forest. He was a good young man. Every day he would go out into the forest and chop wood for his father, who made cabinets. Edward was not a great woodchopper. He was small and not too strong. Each day, when he came back to his father with the small number of logs he had managed to chop, his father would sigh. "If only my son were stronger," he would say. Edward was very sad when this happened.
One day, while the boy and his dog were chopping wood, there was a pitiful cry from somewhere deeper into the forest. "I wonder who that could be," the boy said. "It sounded like a woman."
Edward and the dog followed the sound. They went deeper and deeper into the wood, until finally he came upon a giant castle. It was surrounded by a deep moat, and it had a door that had no handle. The cry was even louder now, as he approached the vast structure. As he tried to cross the drawbridge, a troll suddenly appeared and pushed the boy away. "You are not entering my palace today!!" the troll cried.
"But there is a woman inside and she needs help!"
"The princess is mine, and you are a fool!" the troll replied. Then, with a wave of his hand, he and the drawbridge disappeared.
"Help! Help!" the woman called from within the castle. Edward knew he just had to help the princess, but how? He pitifully slumped against a tall, tall tree and began to cry.
It was then that Edward's dog began to speak. "You have been such a loyal master all my life. I know a way to repay you for your kindness," the dog said. "I see a key, up high in that tree you are leaning against. Maybe if you can get it, it will unlock the door to the castle."
Edward thought it was worth a try, so he began to climb. Up and up he went. The higher he got, the scarcer the branches became. Finally, when he was only a few feet away, he found that he could go no further. The branches were too small, and he was too weak to hold himself up without their support. Edward began to weep. He could see the key, dangling just out of reach. If only he could get it!
Then, from up in the sky, three white birds flew down toward Edward. "You have climbed so far and done so much already. You deserve some help. We will fly you the rest of the way up, so you can get the key!" Then the birds lifted Edward up by his suspenders and carried him to the top of the tree. Edward reached out, and the key was his.
"Now what must I do?" he asked.
"Swim across the moat! Swim across the moat!" the birds chanted as they flew away.
Edward looked down into the river that surrounded the castle. It looked very deep, and very wide. Despair filled him again. He would never make it across.
"You can always try," his dog said.
So Edward took a deep breath, and plunged into the moat.
The water was deep indeed, and very cold. Edward shivered as he began to push himself through the waves, but it wasn't long before his limbs began to ache. He was only halfway there when he realized he could go no further, and he began to sink.
Then, three silver fish swam up to his side. "You have swum so far and done so much already. You deserve some help. We will swim you the rest of the way across so you can reach the palace!" And with that, the fish dove down and hoisted Edward across the treacherous waves. Finally, he was on solid ground, just outside the castle.
"You are almost there!" the dog called from across the moat. "Now all you must do is open the door!"
Edward turned toward the large, wooden door. There was no handle or latch -- no way to get in at all. Edward let out a desperate wail. All this work, and there no way he could ever get in! He fell to the floor and began to sob, uncontrollably.
Then Edward was startled to hear the voice of the princess from just beyond the door. "There is a latch here on the inside! If you can find a way to get me the key, I can open it and free myself!"
Edward leaped up. He tried to get the key in from under the door, but there was no crack wide enough. He looked at all the windows, but they were too high. After an hour of searching, Edward was ready to give up. Was there any way at all to get the key inside? It was impossible! "I am just not clever enough!" he cried.
"Yes, there is!" said a small voice at his feet. Edward looked down and saw the face of a tiny mole staring up at him. You have thought for so long and done so much. You deserve some help. Give me the key, and I will burrow under the door and give it to the princess!"
Edward thankfully gave the key to the mole, and within a few short minutes, he heard the lock unlatch on the inside of the castle. Then, before his eyes, was a beautiful maiden in a golden gown. Edward fell immediately in love with the princess and soon afterward, they were wed. With the princess's fortune, Edward never had to chop wood again.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Some shots of me from the Variety Show...

Friday, February 6, 2009

I didn't get Lilly. Surprise, surprise.
I'm Rose, a minor character. I guess I just have to accept the fact that my directors are hypocrites. They promise me the world, and I end up with nothing. They tell me, "next year is the year for you," and then they cut me down for another girl who's not that much better than me. They play things safe by picking the same people over again, rather than take a chance on me... even though they know that there's not that much risk. Ugh.

The good news, though, is that I'm a really big part in the variety show, which is playing now. I'm practically the star. I'm the only one with lines, and I get two solos all to myself. Yay! Everyone says I'm doing very well.

Oh, and I have another male that I would like people to be aware of. I'm calling him Angel, because he's got the voice of an angel. He's in The Secret Garden, and he's adorable. I want him to like me, so I'm practicing my newfound flirting skills on him at this moment in time. Maybe this time it will work.