Alright, last Thursday I went to Lagoon with some friends. For those unfamiliar, Lagoon is Utah's largest amusement park. It's about a half an hour away from Salt Lake City. While it's no Six Flags, Lagoon is the home to many attractions at varying levels of intensity. Most hard-core coaster lovers would find satisfaction in rides like Wicked and Colossus the Fire Dragon. Others who aren't so keen on going upside down might like the classic Roller Coaster or the Wild Mouse. And, of course there are plenty of rides designed for young children. Lagoon's a good park. It's got something for everyone.
I like intense coasters. I like going upside down, I like steep drops, and I like high speeds. I'll go on anything. Wicked, Samurai, the Rocket (although for full disclosure, I will admit that I do still get a little tense when I go on the Re-Entry part, but I will still ride it and have a good time!)... anything! I'm pretty fearless, and I don't get sick. I'm used to crazy rides.
I say all this about myself because I don't want anyone to think that what I am about to say next is due to an aversion to more high-intensity attractions. I am NOT afraid of Wicked, I am NOT afraid of the Cliff Hanger. Heck, if I had the funds, I'd even try some of those bungee-jumping free-fall things they have on the north side of the park.
BUT, that being said, there is a ride at Lagoon that deserves a heck of a lot more credit than it gets. It's not a coaster, you don't go upside down, and it doesn't even go up that high. Some might even say it's meant for little kids... But don't let any of this deceive you! The truth is THIS RIDE IS AWESOME:
It's called:
The Odysea.
Here's why it's awesome.
First, let's talk about location. Squeezed nicely between the Bat and the Jumping Dragon, two fairly safe and unmemorable rides, the Odysea is located in part of Lagoon that you probably won't come across until midway through your day, after you've gotten through all of the "staples" like Wicked and the Rocket. At this point of the day, you're probably feeling a little tired and listless. "Just give me a ride," you're thinking. "I don't care how intense it is; I'm just hot and tired of walking and waiting in a long line! I'm too lazy for that."
Then, before your eyes, you see it! A giant purple sea monster with one eye, its arms outstretched, rising and falling in unpredictable patterns, clutching what looks like various fish and submarines with riders sitting within them. If you weren't in such a lethargic mood, you might have missed it! But now, seeing as it's a hundred degrees and your feet are tired of walking, you figure that it's worth a shot. Even if the majority of those waiting in line are young children accompanied by parents, you don't care. You get in the short line, lined by a pleasant blue fence adorned with bubble motifs.
Already, even as you are waiting in line, you'll notice the pleasant mist rising from the water surrounding the mechanism. This leaves you already feeling good about your choice. On a hot Utah day, you want a ride that keeps you cool. And while you COULD pick a more popular water ride like the Cliff Hanger or the Rattlesnake Rapids, with long lines and the potential to get absolutely DRENCHED, this ride seems like a safer, more pleasant alternative with a MUCH shorter line. Even as you stand and wait, you catch the mist on a breeze and it feels FANTASTIC. What other ride provides a pleasant misty experience for those simply waiting in line? I say unto you: NONE.
It's your turn to pick a seat. You notice that each pair of seats is nestled within either a fish (perhaps a shark?) or a submarine. You and your best friend take a seat in a submarine, and you notice that it is labeled with its own unique name. Mine was a ship called the Octopus. How pleasant! My ship has a name! I suddenly became the captain of the Octopus. And my friend Kelly sitting next to me was my first mate. And my two friends sitting in front of me, riding a giant shark (named "Sharkie," of course), were my fellow comrades on an epic deep-sea voyage! How exhilarating!
It's at about this point when you discover that the Odysea is an interactive ride. You and your ride partner wield a joystick that allows you to move your vessel up and down. You have the power. You have the choice. Isn't that nice? A ride that provides you to use your own agency for how high you go? If you feel like it, you can take your ship up to its highest height and look at the world below you from a cozy distance. Or you can jerk your joystick back and forth and zigzag up and down, up and down... It's up to you! And that is awesome! What other rides have given you this kind of mobile autonomy??? I say unto you NONE!
But, of course, with great power comes a great responsibility. Since you have the ability to choose your trajectory, you also must face the consequences for making a poor choice in your flight pattern.
You may not notice them at first, but surrounding this great sea monster are several friendly aquatic beasts, their lips pursed, with a stream of water coming out of their mouths. If you managed to notice the happy whale and his spout of water, you may have thought, "Oh how nice! A little spray!"
A LITTLE spray? I think not. Guys, trust me on this, but what may look like a tiny stream of water is actually a massive JET of water that PELTS YOU IN THE FREAKING FACE! And it's not just this whale you've got to worry about. They're EVERYWHERE. There's the whale, the shark, and the dolphins, all shooting water at you! And it's your job to move the joystick and avoid their spray.
This is no easy task. The animals have the power to change their spray trajectory, so one pass might leave you able to rise above the stream, but the next time, perhaps not! Perhaps the next time, you'll make the bold attempt to repeat the motion, but this time, you get HIT IN THE FREAKING FACE by a boatload of water! That whale, he was the worst. His spray path would change on the dime.
Kelly had control of the joystick. I, being Captain, was of course responsible for issuing the commands. But it seemed like with every assumption I made, I was met with the exact opposite result!
"Kelly! WHALE! Go under it!"
"Roger that!"
"Wait... NO! Nevermind! He's spraying low! Kelly! WHALE! Go up! Go up! HIGHER!"
"I'm TRYING!"
"WE'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!"
*SPLOOSH*
And then those dolphins. THOSE DOLPHINS. You see a dolphin, and you take note of the path of its spray. It's pretty low, so you obviously raise your vessel to go over it.... Safe, right?
WRONG. What you DON'T see is the other dolphin, sitting directly above the first one, hiding in the tree. It's a trap. There's NO ESCAPE. You hear a cacophony of screams from both Captain and First Mate... then...
*SPLOOSH*
And just as you're trying to recover from the dolphin attack, then...
"SHARKIE!! MOOOOOOOOVE!"
*SPLOOSH*
The first go-around, and one or both of you is already drenched. It's only after you have been soaked by multiple attacks from these creatures that you realize that there are light-up arrows just below the name plaque of your ship... These give you hints about where you could go to avoid the spray. The key to success was in front of you THE WHOLE TIME!
Kelly and I did our best to work together. But there is another tactic. If you have control of the joystick, you could always stage a mutiny against your partner and do your best to get HIM/HER wet. My friend Jeremy, sitting on the inside seat of "Sharkie," tried exactly this. Whenever they approached a spray, he would ignore the arrow's directions and position his vessel so that it would hit his buddy Caylor, who sat nearer to the spray. How diabolical!
But what Jeremy quickly realized was that this game is SO well designed, it doesn't matter whether you're on the inside or the outside: YOU ARE NEVER SAFE. More often than not, the arc of the spray would go just over Caylor's head and hit Jeremy square in the face.
What you hear, in this process, is something like, "HAVE A DRINK, CAYLO--BLLBBPH!"
*SPLOOSH*
Take THAT, you traitor!
What other ride at Lagoon is this deceptively complicated? I say unto you: NONE!
By the end of the ride, you are soaked, disoriented, and dying of laughter. The four of us, grown adults, ended up spending a good ten minutes just standing there outside the exit, laughing. Laughing at each other, about how ridiculous we looked, and how we couldn't outsmart four inanimate fish!
On top of that, I felt like we became better friends in this experience! After the Odysea, I felt a lot more comfortable with these people than I was before. It was as if we had conquered something together. Like we had all overcome an important and life-changing challenge. And we had all grown from it. During the short three minutes of this ride, we seemed to learn several important life lessons: We learned about teamwork, we learned about cooperation, we learned about empathy, we learned how to follow directions, how to appreciate the simple things in life, how to laugh at ourselves. What seems like a simple kiddie ride is actually an intense BATTLE BETWEEN MAN AND WATER-SPRAYING BEAST, and, in a way, it also metaphorically manifests the BATTLE BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS OWN CONSCIENCE!
What other ride at Lagoon brings friends and family together and uplifts you in this way?
I SAY UNTO YOU: NONE!!!!
It was the highlight of our day. And with the right people, this may very well be the highlight of yours, as well.
The end.
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Getting Integrated (or, The Main Reason Why I Am Still Single)
They say that when you marry someone, you're also marrying his/her family.
I fought this saying for a long time. I always thought that if you loved each other enough, there should be nothing -- not rain, not snow, not your future mother-in-law -- that could stop you from being together. Yeah, family reunions may be a little unpleasant, but they don't last forever and you hardly ever have to interact with your spouse's family outside of that, so what's the big deal?
But after watching several of my dear friends tie the knot, I have come to understand how true such an adage is. Couples' families have a huge influence over the couple. Families-in-law will forever be a driving force in your joint decision-making as a married unit. Odds are you'll see them far more often than just during weddings and funerals. And your potential spouse will surely hold his or her family as a high priority and hope that you will get along with them. I know I feel that way; I usually don't let a guy get to relationship status without getting the go-ahead from my sister, first.
A lot of us have a "meet-the-parents" story of one kind or another. I, myself, haven't had many experiences with a boyfriend's parents, but the ones I have had... Well, they haven't been great. And in all these instances, my relationship with the man's family foreshadowed the ultimate fate of the relationship I had with the man. My first 'official' boyfriend had a mother who thought that I was some temptress who had come to kidnap her son and whisk him away into a Gaga-loving Babylon. The second time I 'met the parents,' was a similar story. (It's funny. When you meet a guy's parents, you suddenly realize exactly why he has the quirks that he has. But I can discuss that at a later date.)
And the one and only time I introduced a boy to my mom and dad? I shudder at the memory.
Yes, family is important. But there's another important group of people you need to consider when discussing a long-term relationship, and that is the very loosely-defined group of people known as "the friends."
You know what I mean when I say "friends." Those people you -- as a college student living away from home -- spend the most time with. As a girl, you may have your girlfriends, just as a guy may have his bros. They often are your roommates or coworkers. Perhaps they're people who share your major and who share similar class schedules and interests. Sometimes it's a ward group. Or, if you're lucky, they can be this group of friends you've known since you were kids. People who grew up with you. People you would expect to see cheering you on at your wedding. After all, you were there for theirs.
When I think of a close group of friends, I first think of the five protagonists from the hit TV series How I Met Your Mother. Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Barney. Always doing things together. Dating each other. Meeting at the same bar year after year. They know everything about each other, share common experiences, and are there for each other when things go wrong. While it does seem a little contrived, most of us can relate to this kind of thing. Lots of us have a "best friend" like Marshall. Many of us have a "pet married couple" like Marshall and Lily, who may act as our surrogate parents from time to time while we're away from home. And, let's face it, most friend groups have a Barney Stinson -- the one whack-job in the group who seems like he wouldn't fit, but somehow does. Although our circumstances change, time and experience have helped us understand that true friendships transcend petty differences and difficult conflicts.
If I were to meet Ted at the supermarket (or at a wedding, or while trying to remove a tattoo, or perhaps as I was protesting against one of his architectural endeavors...), I would feel more fear in meeting his four closest friends than in meeting his mother or his father. In some ways, it is more challenging to inundate yourself into another's group of friends than it is to inundate yourself into a person's family. Sure, family's where you come from and where you always find yourself going back. But friends? That's where you choose to spend all the rest of your time. These are the people you WANT to be with, not just the people you're born with. These are the people you share interests with, the people you purposely develop deeper relations with, people you learn from. While you're out in college, your friends become your second family.
And, unlike a person's real family, the friends are there from the beginning. Rarely do we ever think of introducing a guy or girl to our parents on the first date. Even if I wanted them to meet, it's pretty difficult to ever introduce a guy to mom and dad, since they live so far away. I've hardly been in a relationship for enough time for that to even be an issue. In the meantime, though, most people have this "second family" that they grow super close to, and you meet them right away. You may not have to schmooze mom and dad immediately, but you may need to get past the BFFs on the very first date.
Often, you are faced with the super important ritual known as meeting the roommates. Not only does it give a person the chance to see how a date responds to meeting these new people, but it also can be very revealing to hear what the roommates think of the guy you just brought home. Do they like him? Do they seem to get along? I can't tell you how many times I've closed the door after a date, only to immediately turn to my roommates and say, "Well, what do you think? Thumbs up or thumbs down?" Their poor opinion may not be the dealbreaker, but it could definitely weaken your relationship.
And even if you pass the initial go-ahead, you're then faced with the next step: initiation. Now this step can be bypassed if your new friend already is a part of your social group. It's nice to date someone who has already spent plenty of time with your friends and he's already comfortable with you as part of a group of other close compatriots. It's convenient when that happens. The transition from 'friend' to 'boyfriend' is a lot more calm when he's already a part of your life and your friend group.
But what if you met the guy online, or on the street, or at the gym? You have almost nothing in common with him, socially speaking. You come from separate worlds. He rock-climbs and hikes, you make music and see plays. If the personalities aren't right, these separate worlds could collide in a catastrophic explosion. Or it could at least lead to a super awkward experience, and early on, such awkward experiences can break down the relationship completely. You don't want your relationship to begin on too wrong of a note, or else it will end before it starts!
How hard is it to meet the Best Friend? Boyfriend may be super excited to introduce you to him, but don't you still feel the need to dress just a little nicer and act just a little cooler? After all, this is your boyfriend's Best Friend. Anyone who's best friends with your dream guy oughta be super cool and super important, right? His opinion must be super important, right? And what if BestFriend doesn't give you the seal of approval? Depending on how much time Boyfriend spends with BestFriend, you may be in for a rough time.
And it's even worse when there's a group of Best Friends, like in How I Met Your Mother. When you meet a new group of people, seldom is someone going to bother filling you in on the inside jokes that they all share, their past experiences, or the traditions they hold. You are the random stranger, surrounded by people you don't know, and you have to share the attention of the one person you have any attachment to with all of these other folks. And perhaps your mere presence puts a damper on things for them? Perhaps you are the rain on the parade that is BestFriend tradition. You show up on the hiking trip, you appear in all the mission reunion photos, you tag along to the movies... Cool as you are, you can't change the fact that you're someone new. Different. You're the stranger. The buzzkill. The newbie. Yuck.
Even when you do things alone, there's still pressure to have a mutual friend group to talk about. It's hard to talk about a funny thing that happened at work when your beau has never met your coworkers. It's hard for him to talk about his band when you've never met his bandmates. We are social animals. We thrive in environments where we can make connections and form further relationships. You can only spend so much time on formal, one-on-one dates. If you ever want to marry someone, you need to meld your entire life with someone else's entire life. This stranger to your world needs to become an established regular. An integrated part of your social life. Getting to that point is very challenging.
In my own situation, I find that this whole issue concerning social integration is the primary factor that has come between me and a successful relationship. You can trace most of my problems back to the fact that I have very few close friends. I consider myself an unestablished socialite. My personality does not cater to having a posse or a clique or a cohort that I always do things with. I spread myself thin; I have lots of friends, but few of them are really close. There's no automatic list of people I would call to go get Denny's with on a weekend. My friendships are more the kind where I can easily say "hi" to someone I recognize if our paths happen to cross. I get invited to things on occasion, and while I am an extrovert who can adapt to these kinds of situations pretty easily, I do recognize that I am different and I don't immediately click with lots of people. In such an in-transit environment as a college campus, getting to know a group of people well enough to have them be a major part of my life is hard for a girl like me. One-on-one, I'm great. Get me with a group, and I detach myself. So rather than having this group of people that I always do things with, I have a smattering of individual friendships that I do one-on-one activities with on occasion. I don't dislike this lifestyle. It makes for an awesome formal dating experience. One-on-one planned activities with the purpose of getting to know someone better? I shine in that environment. It's just that next step that I have trouble with.
So that's the first thing going against me: My social temperament. But let's not assume that I am incapable of surpassing my normal disposition and creating close bonds with groups of people. I have had 'cliques' in the past. My old roommates were one, and my former coworkers were another. But then my roommates moved out and I quit my job... And now I live in the basement of my grandparents' house. I live in a scattered ward, working as a junior high school teacher and personal research assistant to a professor. The only people I come in contact with these days are my pre-teen students, my married mentor teacher, my grandma, and my professors. So much for having a common social circle with my potential eternal companion! Heck, it's hard enough to find guys to simply go on dates with, let alone find a relationship. And when someone special does show up in my ward or wherever, he's usually so well established in some other social group, and a hermit like me can hardly get her foot in the door.
I am willing to share that I, myself, have been hit with the words, "I just don't think you'd get along with my friends, Hannah. And that's really important to me. Sorry. We're through." But I don't think a guy needs to actually say that in order for me to feel the social pressure of having to win the hearts of not only the guys I'm interested in, but also of their friends. Yes, it's a frustrating thing, knowing that most of the men I interact with have totally separate lives from me and, thus, the cards are stacked against me.
I guess that's why I'm still single. I haven't figured out this whole "meet-the-friends" thing yet.
But I'm discovering the solution...
All this being said, here are some things you need to be successful in dating. Mind you, this is not a comprehensive list, but it may contain a few things that you may not initially think of, or it may put a new spin on some of the common things you hear as a single adult all the time.
1. Do stuff. Get out there and find a hobby that you can share with others. Climb rocks, make music, join an opera, play tennis, go to institute, take a dance class, join a dinner group, start a game night, go to Home Evening, attend the extra seminars... Be social. You've probably heard this advice before, and you're always given the same reason for it: You can't meet your future companion if you never put yourself in a position to meet someone. And yeah, that's a valid argument. But there's more. I also think it's important for people to have a social group. They don't need to be your eventual bridesmaids or the godparents for your future children, but it's healthy to have a group of people that you have things in common with. You'll improve your social skills, you have a non-family support group, and -- of course -- you'll have fun. Yes, you can have fun when you're single. Fun exists outside of marriage.
2. Group date. If you're a nonestablished socialite like me, group dating provides a social outlet that you don't achieve in other group settings. Double dates are nice; they're still small enough to be intimate. They give you a chance to see how your date operates in a group, and your date can see how you operate in a group. And suddenly you've created a mutual friend base that both of you have in common. Total win.
3. Hopefully this essay will help you realize that meeting the friends can be an awkward thing for your date. There are ways to make it easier. Don't put a ton of pressure on it. Bring your new friend into the group. Make some formal introductions, and then continue to make informal introductions. It's so nice to have a date who is willing to go the extra mile to make me feel comfortable with his friends. And it's very encouraging when I end up making a few new friends in the whole dating process.
4. Remember: Life is about forming positive relationships with lots of different people. It's not all about just finding that ONE person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. If and when you do find that special someone, it doesn't mean you can completely forget about the other relationships that helped you get to that point. Yes, marriage is a priority, but brotherly love, service to those around you, and learning from others is also an important part in this life journey.
Furthermore, if you never get out there and start forming good friendships, you'll never get the chance to meet the notorious "friend-of-a-friend." I met my last boyfriend at a mutual friend's music show at a club. I had no intention of meeting a companion when I went, but we were introduced and things moved quickly forward from there. I never would have met him, had I not been a supportive friend already. The more people you know, the more you're able to network. That can help your romantic life as well as your career.
5. Find out about yourself, what you want, and what your goals are. I never could have written this a year ago. That was before I realized what kind of a person I was in groups, how I interacted with people one-on-one, and what my interests were in a future companion. Since then, I have discovered that I'm an extrovert with interesting hobbies and a bold, colorful personality that caters well to certain other personalities. The moment I figured stuff like this out, I suddenly became more confident with other people, and I started picking guys that were better for me within social groups where I was already comfortable. Since I am a musician, I take advantage of interactions I have with other musicians. I make the conscious choice to expand upon my relationships with women and men who are interested in post-graduate education, like myself. In a spiritual sense, I am better able to "separate the wheat from the tares" in dating when I am truly confident in my end goal: to marry for eternity in the Lord's Holy Temple. When you know who you are and what your true desires are, you more quickly find those things you desire. Remember your goals. Remember who you are.
6. Speaking of picking, it's totally okay to consider the friends as you're making decisions about a relationship. I do not look down on the guy who rejects me because of how I get along with his friends. Your friends are important, just like family is important. It's good to give people a chance, but if you know that integrating a certain kind of person will cause excessive conflict and stress on you and your social group, maybe it's a good idea to search for your companion elsewhere. This is especially true when it comes to spiritual things. If your date's buddies don't keep the same standards that you do, there is a perfectly legitimate reason to hit pause and re-evaluate. Everyone is different, and there will usually be conflict of some kind, but there is a line. Find it, and don't cross it.
7. If you don't have a How-I-Met-Your-Mother group, don't try to get one. You can't force a friend group like that, and they are not necessary for finding happiness in your social life. They emerge on their own, if you are patient and if you are genuine and trustworthy. I found that the moment I stopped trying to form a posse, people felt a lot more comfortable around me and little groups began to form by themselves. And if I never end up having a tight-knit group like that, it's fine. I'll settle for having an awesome eternal companion and an amazing family.
8. This is probably the one piece of advice that I have trouble actually doing myself. If the guy is a big fan of country dancing, why not GO COUNTRY DANCING with him?! So what if it's not your favorite thing. So what if you're terrible at it. So what if it's out of your comfort zone. Sometimes the best way to get to a guy is to first get into his social group before the relationship ever starts. Get to know some of the people he loves and start acquainting yourself with the kind of things he enjoys. And that doesn't mean you have to give up everything you cherish and value and give into peer pressure just to impress a guy, a la Sandra Dee in Grease. There are plenty of things we can learn from each other without completely losing our identities.
STILL thinking that this is some sort of nefarious dating tactic that promotes insecurity and lack of self-esteem? I'll put it another way: If you've never country danced before, maybe you'll like it! Maybe you'll enjoy hiking or skating or cello music. Or maybe you'll meet other awesome people while doing those things. To bring things back to Grease again, Danny Zuko improved his life by joining the track team over a girl. I don't think he regrets it at all; it didn't make his life any worse to have a productive hobby. Real world example: I've talked to dozens of guys who discovered they loved singing simply because the girls invited them to join choir. They may never have got the girls, but they discovered something about themselves that they didn't know before. I, myself, have uncovered tons of great performing artists simply by going out and watching my musical guy friends play at shows. It's ironic: You go into something for one purpose, only to discover something very different and far more rewarding instead.
Here's to a great summer.
Watching: How I Met Your Mother (of course)
Things going on today: A Fast Sunday full of opportunities.
Learned: A little more about the personal life of Neil Patrick Harris
Blessings: Food. Drink. A Bed.
I fought this saying for a long time. I always thought that if you loved each other enough, there should be nothing -- not rain, not snow, not your future mother-in-law -- that could stop you from being together. Yeah, family reunions may be a little unpleasant, but they don't last forever and you hardly ever have to interact with your spouse's family outside of that, so what's the big deal?
But after watching several of my dear friends tie the knot, I have come to understand how true such an adage is. Couples' families have a huge influence over the couple. Families-in-law will forever be a driving force in your joint decision-making as a married unit. Odds are you'll see them far more often than just during weddings and funerals. And your potential spouse will surely hold his or her family as a high priority and hope that you will get along with them. I know I feel that way; I usually don't let a guy get to relationship status without getting the go-ahead from my sister, first.
A lot of us have a "meet-the-parents" story of one kind or another. I, myself, haven't had many experiences with a boyfriend's parents, but the ones I have had... Well, they haven't been great. And in all these instances, my relationship with the man's family foreshadowed the ultimate fate of the relationship I had with the man. My first 'official' boyfriend had a mother who thought that I was some temptress who had come to kidnap her son and whisk him away into a Gaga-loving Babylon. The second time I 'met the parents,' was a similar story. (It's funny. When you meet a guy's parents, you suddenly realize exactly why he has the quirks that he has. But I can discuss that at a later date.)
 |
| It's always going to be awkward. Always. |
And the one and only time I introduced a boy to my mom and dad? I shudder at the memory.
Yes, family is important. But there's another important group of people you need to consider when discussing a long-term relationship, and that is the very loosely-defined group of people known as "the friends."
You know what I mean when I say "friends." Those people you -- as a college student living away from home -- spend the most time with. As a girl, you may have your girlfriends, just as a guy may have his bros. They often are your roommates or coworkers. Perhaps they're people who share your major and who share similar class schedules and interests. Sometimes it's a ward group. Or, if you're lucky, they can be this group of friends you've known since you were kids. People who grew up with you. People you would expect to see cheering you on at your wedding. After all, you were there for theirs.
When I think of a close group of friends, I first think of the five protagonists from the hit TV series How I Met Your Mother. Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Barney. Always doing things together. Dating each other. Meeting at the same bar year after year. They know everything about each other, share common experiences, and are there for each other when things go wrong. While it does seem a little contrived, most of us can relate to this kind of thing. Lots of us have a "best friend" like Marshall. Many of us have a "pet married couple" like Marshall and Lily, who may act as our surrogate parents from time to time while we're away from home. And, let's face it, most friend groups have a Barney Stinson -- the one whack-job in the group who seems like he wouldn't fit, but somehow does. Although our circumstances change, time and experience have helped us understand that true friendships transcend petty differences and difficult conflicts.
 |
| Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Barney... They know everything about each other, share common experiences, and are there for each other when things go wrong. |
And, unlike a person's real family, the friends are there from the beginning. Rarely do we ever think of introducing a guy or girl to our parents on the first date. Even if I wanted them to meet, it's pretty difficult to ever introduce a guy to mom and dad, since they live so far away. I've hardly been in a relationship for enough time for that to even be an issue. In the meantime, though, most people have this "second family" that they grow super close to, and you meet them right away. You may not have to schmooze mom and dad immediately, but you may need to get past the BFFs on the very first date.
Often, you are faced with the super important ritual known as meeting the roommates. Not only does it give a person the chance to see how a date responds to meeting these new people, but it also can be very revealing to hear what the roommates think of the guy you just brought home. Do they like him? Do they seem to get along? I can't tell you how many times I've closed the door after a date, only to immediately turn to my roommates and say, "Well, what do you think? Thumbs up or thumbs down?" Their poor opinion may not be the dealbreaker, but it could definitely weaken your relationship.
 |
| Meeting the roommates: Their poor opinion may not be the dealbreaker, but it could definitely weaken your relationship. |
But what if you met the guy online, or on the street, or at the gym? You have almost nothing in common with him, socially speaking. You come from separate worlds. He rock-climbs and hikes, you make music and see plays. If the personalities aren't right, these separate worlds could collide in a catastrophic explosion. Or it could at least lead to a super awkward experience, and early on, such awkward experiences can break down the relationship completely. You don't want your relationship to begin on too wrong of a note, or else it will end before it starts!
How hard is it to meet the Best Friend? Boyfriend may be super excited to introduce you to him, but don't you still feel the need to dress just a little nicer and act just a little cooler? After all, this is your boyfriend's Best Friend. Anyone who's best friends with your dream guy oughta be super cool and super important, right? His opinion must be super important, right? And what if BestFriend doesn't give you the seal of approval? Depending on how much time Boyfriend spends with BestFriend, you may be in for a rough time.
And it's even worse when there's a group of Best Friends, like in How I Met Your Mother. When you meet a new group of people, seldom is someone going to bother filling you in on the inside jokes that they all share, their past experiences, or the traditions they hold. You are the random stranger, surrounded by people you don't know, and you have to share the attention of the one person you have any attachment to with all of these other folks. And perhaps your mere presence puts a damper on things for them? Perhaps you are the rain on the parade that is BestFriend tradition. You show up on the hiking trip, you appear in all the mission reunion photos, you tag along to the movies... Cool as you are, you can't change the fact that you're someone new. Different. You're the stranger. The buzzkill. The newbie. Yuck.
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| When you meet a new group of people, seldom is someone going to bother filling you in on the inside okes that they all share, their past experiences, or the traditions they hold. |
In my own situation, I find that this whole issue concerning social integration is the primary factor that has come between me and a successful relationship. You can trace most of my problems back to the fact that I have very few close friends. I consider myself an unestablished socialite. My personality does not cater to having a posse or a clique or a cohort that I always do things with. I spread myself thin; I have lots of friends, but few of them are really close. There's no automatic list of people I would call to go get Denny's with on a weekend. My friendships are more the kind where I can easily say "hi" to someone I recognize if our paths happen to cross. I get invited to things on occasion, and while I am an extrovert who can adapt to these kinds of situations pretty easily, I do recognize that I am different and I don't immediately click with lots of people. In such an in-transit environment as a college campus, getting to know a group of people well enough to have them be a major part of my life is hard for a girl like me. One-on-one, I'm great. Get me with a group, and I detach myself. So rather than having this group of people that I always do things with, I have a smattering of individual friendships that I do one-on-one activities with on occasion. I don't dislike this lifestyle. It makes for an awesome formal dating experience. One-on-one planned activities with the purpose of getting to know someone better? I shine in that environment. It's just that next step that I have trouble with.
So that's the first thing going against me: My social temperament. But let's not assume that I am incapable of surpassing my normal disposition and creating close bonds with groups of people. I have had 'cliques' in the past. My old roommates were one, and my former coworkers were another. But then my roommates moved out and I quit my job... And now I live in the basement of my grandparents' house. I live in a scattered ward, working as a junior high school teacher and personal research assistant to a professor. The only people I come in contact with these days are my pre-teen students, my married mentor teacher, my grandma, and my professors. So much for having a common social circle with my potential eternal companion! Heck, it's hard enough to find guys to simply go on dates with, let alone find a relationship. And when someone special does show up in my ward or wherever, he's usually so well established in some other social group, and a hermit like me can hardly get her foot in the door.
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| Let's not assume that I'm incapable of surpassing my normal disposition... I have had cliques in the past. My old roommates were one. |
I guess that's why I'm still single. I haven't figured out this whole "meet-the-friends" thing yet.
But I'm discovering the solution...
All this being said, here are some things you need to be successful in dating. Mind you, this is not a comprehensive list, but it may contain a few things that you may not initially think of, or it may put a new spin on some of the common things you hear as a single adult all the time.
1. Do stuff. Get out there and find a hobby that you can share with others. Climb rocks, make music, join an opera, play tennis, go to institute, take a dance class, join a dinner group, start a game night, go to Home Evening, attend the extra seminars... Be social. You've probably heard this advice before, and you're always given the same reason for it: You can't meet your future companion if you never put yourself in a position to meet someone. And yeah, that's a valid argument. But there's more. I also think it's important for people to have a social group. They don't need to be your eventual bridesmaids or the godparents for your future children, but it's healthy to have a group of people that you have things in common with. You'll improve your social skills, you have a non-family support group, and -- of course -- you'll have fun. Yes, you can have fun when you're single. Fun exists outside of marriage.
2. Group date. If you're a nonestablished socialite like me, group dating provides a social outlet that you don't achieve in other group settings. Double dates are nice; they're still small enough to be intimate. They give you a chance to see how your date operates in a group, and your date can see how you operate in a group. And suddenly you've created a mutual friend base that both of you have in common. Total win.
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| Group dating provides a social outlet that you don't achieve in other group settings. |
4. Remember: Life is about forming positive relationships with lots of different people. It's not all about just finding that ONE person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. If and when you do find that special someone, it doesn't mean you can completely forget about the other relationships that helped you get to that point. Yes, marriage is a priority, but brotherly love, service to those around you, and learning from others is also an important part in this life journey.
Furthermore, if you never get out there and start forming good friendships, you'll never get the chance to meet the notorious "friend-of-a-friend." I met my last boyfriend at a mutual friend's music show at a club. I had no intention of meeting a companion when I went, but we were introduced and things moved quickly forward from there. I never would have met him, had I not been a supportive friend already. The more people you know, the more you're able to network. That can help your romantic life as well as your career.
5. Find out about yourself, what you want, and what your goals are. I never could have written this a year ago. That was before I realized what kind of a person I was in groups, how I interacted with people one-on-one, and what my interests were in a future companion. Since then, I have discovered that I'm an extrovert with interesting hobbies and a bold, colorful personality that caters well to certain other personalities. The moment I figured stuff like this out, I suddenly became more confident with other people, and I started picking guys that were better for me within social groups where I was already comfortable. Since I am a musician, I take advantage of interactions I have with other musicians. I make the conscious choice to expand upon my relationships with women and men who are interested in post-graduate education, like myself. In a spiritual sense, I am better able to "separate the wheat from the tares" in dating when I am truly confident in my end goal: to marry for eternity in the Lord's Holy Temple. When you know who you are and what your true desires are, you more quickly find those things you desire. Remember your goals. Remember who you are.
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| Remember your goals. Remember who you are. |
7. If you don't have a How-I-Met-Your-Mother group, don't try to get one. You can't force a friend group like that, and they are not necessary for finding happiness in your social life. They emerge on their own, if you are patient and if you are genuine and trustworthy. I found that the moment I stopped trying to form a posse, people felt a lot more comfortable around me and little groups began to form by themselves. And if I never end up having a tight-knit group like that, it's fine. I'll settle for having an awesome eternal companion and an amazing family.
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| There are plenty of things we can learn from each other without completely losing our identities. |
STILL thinking that this is some sort of nefarious dating tactic that promotes insecurity and lack of self-esteem? I'll put it another way: If you've never country danced before, maybe you'll like it! Maybe you'll enjoy hiking or skating or cello music. Or maybe you'll meet other awesome people while doing those things. To bring things back to Grease again, Danny Zuko improved his life by joining the track team over a girl. I don't think he regrets it at all; it didn't make his life any worse to have a productive hobby. Real world example: I've talked to dozens of guys who discovered they loved singing simply because the girls invited them to join choir. They may never have got the girls, but they discovered something about themselves that they didn't know before. I, myself, have uncovered tons of great performing artists simply by going out and watching my musical guy friends play at shows. It's ironic: You go into something for one purpose, only to discover something very different and far more rewarding instead.
Here's to a great summer.
Watching: How I Met Your Mother (of course)
Things going on today: A Fast Sunday full of opportunities.
Learned: A little more about the personal life of Neil Patrick Harris
Blessings: Food. Drink. A Bed.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Kisses.
July 3, 2007:
Well... It happened. The one thing I've wanted to happen all my life -- but the one thing I'm almost regretting now. It was pleasant, yet painful. Shaking, yet serine. Wonderful, yet weird.
We kissed. Full-out on the lips. We kissed.
I imagine it as if it were happening now... we were on the couch in the living room...
I let his lips touch mine. Softly at first, but then he took over. I hardly did anything, I just sat there and let his lips cover mine. He'd suck in and let go, suck in and let go. Almost six times, before I whispered,
"Is this okay?"
"Only if we don't use tongues," he whispered back before covering my lips in his agan...
June 9, 2009:
My lips found his.
Only briefly. I still can't believe it happened. It was so soft -- so warm -- almost as if I were just kissing air.
I think I was the one who kissed him. I think. You can never tell. All I know is that I absolutely loved it...
November 9, 2009:
...A moment's pause. I said, "You look cuter without your glasses."
"I know."
Hahahah... He knows...
"Oh well,"
Then his lips hit mine. His arm immediately went around my ow and his tongue immediately started exploring the edges of my mouth. It happened so fast, so intense. That was the part I remember the most. The beginning.
His lips were soft, and the skin around them prickled gently against my own. Suddenly I felt relaxed... So relaxed...
September 4, 2010:
I could feel his face... just a hair away from my lips. His big nose was touchng mine. I was afraid to open my eyes. I knew I wouldn't like what I saw.
But our lips met anyway.
And I thought of nothing.
January 18, 2011:
He kissed me! Last night!...
I gave him a close embrace and as we separated, he said "I want to kiss you."
He sounded like you when he said it. Suddenly all the doubt I had about kissing him went out the door. "You can if you want," I said.
And he did. It was a very odd kiss. I don't think he's kissed a girl before. His lips stayed shut against mine, while mine had to open up around them. We held that kiss for five seconds. Then, our lips separated for a second and then back. It was so sweet. So clean and platonic and peaceful.
October 29, 2011:
"Are we really gonna do this?" I whined, but I didn't move away (Mistake #4).
"Yes," he said. And that was when my willpower completely snapped and I was rubbing my lips against his. Letting my tongue slip out against his teeth.
BIG MISTAKE #5.
May 4, 2012:
Yeah, I want him to kiss me. So I let my face get really close to his and I let my arms rest on his shoulders. He kissed me. I hardly had to do anything. His lips are perfect. His kiss is divine. He had never really kissed a girl before, but oh man, he's good at it. Maybe it's all the movies... Or maybe he's just right for me...
We don't kiss for very long... I think he felt a little self-conscious. Only after about ten seconds from when our lips first touched, he turned away with a sigh and said, "Gaaa, I have no idea what I'm doing."
I smiled at his insecurity. So cute. I turned his head with my hand back toward my lips and this time I kissed him. So satisfying...
28 October, 2012:
...At the time, all I was really thinking was this: I want to kiss that man. Bad.
So I pushed, and in a short while, he surrendered. His lips reached for mine, and that's when the best car make-out of my life started.
June 16, 2013:
"Thank you. Now I want to kiss you goodnight. To show my gratitude."
He had kissed my cheek so many times, I thought nothing of leaning in for him to kiss my cheek... But I was surprised to find his lips touch mine. Quite on purpose. He was kissing me. For real.
June 28, 2013:
"I'll make sure to speak more candidly next time..."
And that's when I did it.
It came out of nowhere. I hardly even thought. I just reached out, grabbed his shoulder, pulled him towards me, and our lips met.
It really was a perfect kiss...
I remember not being able to look at him at all, even as he spoke. I looked past him at the blade-changing equipment shelf just beyond him. And when I suddenly reached my arms out to his neck, I closed my eyes and they remained shut until it was all over.
It really was the best kiss ever. It could not have gone more right.
Which, I think, means something. It means things sometimes go a lot better if you don't overthink them. I think this moment here was one of the few moments in my life when I totally acted impulsively. I let my desires take charge and I hardly thought -- just enjoyed.
And, I can't emphasize this enough, the kiss was perfect. It was a long, full kiss. It felt RIGHT, from the first impact to the moment I randomly decided to stop.
I remember movement at the beginning. From both of us.
He kissed me back...
It felt as natural as breathing..
I remember the movement subsided. I let my lips just rest there on his. Just sit and wait and enjoy. And then suddenly it was over.
7 October, 2013:
"Would a kiss help?" he asked.
Holy frack.
My mind raced. Yes? No?
"Maybe?" I said.
And then he kissed me. It was a very simple kiss. I instinctively got more into it. Most of my kissing has involved a bit more than just a simple peck. I think it took him by surprise. But honestly, I had hardly any time to THINK about this! I just DID something.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
August's Playlist
1. "Shadow" by Keane
2. "Still Getting Younger" by Wynter Gordon
3. "Stars" by Fun.
4. "School's Out" by Alice Cooper
5. "Where does the Good Go?" by Tegan and Sara
6. "And Then Some" by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra
7. "Emily" by MIKA
8. "American" by Lana Del Rey
9. "Theme from Lawrence of Arabia" as performed by the 101 Strings Orchestra
10. "Annie" by James Blunt
11. "Applause" by Lady Gaga
12. "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift
2. "Still Getting Younger" by Wynter Gordon
3. "Stars" by Fun.
4. "School's Out" by Alice Cooper
5. "Where does the Good Go?" by Tegan and Sara
6. "And Then Some" by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra
7. "Emily" by MIKA
8. "American" by Lana Del Rey
9. "Theme from Lawrence of Arabia" as performed by the 101 Strings Orchestra
10. "Annie" by James Blunt
11. "Applause" by Lady Gaga
12. "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Fiji Water
Once upon a time, I went to High School. I had crushes on many boys, but for a while I had a thing for this kid named Grant who sat in front of me in English class. His birthday was 3 days before mine, and he played lots of sports. He had big blue eyes and a kind smile. I would use every possible excuse to talk to him.
Near the beginning of the year, my mom indulged herself while shopping and got a pack of really fancy Fiji water bottles. The bottles themselves were square. Of course the water inside didn't last very long. I brought my bottle, unopened, to school and I decided to crack it open during English class. As I sipped, Grant looked behind, saw what I was drinking, and said, "Hey! I've heard about that Fiji stuff! Mind if I had a sip?"
Of course, I couldn't say no, so I handed him my bottle and he very carefully let a few teaspoons of water flow out of the bottle and between his lips without them touching each other. His eyes were on me as he did so. When he finished, he gave me back the bottle and said, "That's good stuff! Much better than regular water!"
These Fiji water bottles were very durable, so mom thought it would be a good idea for me to re-use them and just fill them up again with water from the tap. During school, I would finish a bottle and then refill it at a drinking fountain. During English class one day, I left my bottle on the table and Grant turned and grabbed it without asking for my permission. He brought the bottle to his lips, swallowed a few gulps, and then closed it up again with a satisfying sigh.
"Yep," he said. "There's definitely a difference."
To this day, he does not know that what he drank wasn't Fiji, but tap water from the fountain down the hall.
Near the beginning of the year, my mom indulged herself while shopping and got a pack of really fancy Fiji water bottles. The bottles themselves were square. Of course the water inside didn't last very long. I brought my bottle, unopened, to school and I decided to crack it open during English class. As I sipped, Grant looked behind, saw what I was drinking, and said, "Hey! I've heard about that Fiji stuff! Mind if I had a sip?"
Of course, I couldn't say no, so I handed him my bottle and he very carefully let a few teaspoons of water flow out of the bottle and between his lips without them touching each other. His eyes were on me as he did so. When he finished, he gave me back the bottle and said, "That's good stuff! Much better than regular water!"
These Fiji water bottles were very durable, so mom thought it would be a good idea for me to re-use them and just fill them up again with water from the tap. During school, I would finish a bottle and then refill it at a drinking fountain. During English class one day, I left my bottle on the table and Grant turned and grabbed it without asking for my permission. He brought the bottle to his lips, swallowed a few gulps, and then closed it up again with a satisfying sigh.
"Yep," he said. "There's definitely a difference."
To this day, he does not know that what he drank wasn't Fiji, but tap water from the fountain down the hall.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
A sad story.
It's really sad when you see people you knew make stupid mistakes. It's jarring to see my old classmates framed in mug-shot fashion in a news article like this. It's also jarring that they're possibly going to spend some years in prison.
I knew Justin better than Zach. He played the saxophone in the band that met at the same high school he broke into. Wow.
http://burnsville.patch.com/articles/burnsville-men-charged-with-burglarizing-nicollet-junior-high
Listening to: The entire "North" album by Matchbox Twenty. Streaming on itunes!
Things going on today: First Tuesday of the semester. Singers auditions.
Blessings: No class. Computer labs at work.
Learned: The various facets of the human voice.
I knew Justin better than Zach. He played the saxophone in the band that met at the same high school he broke into. Wow.
http://burnsville.patch.com/articles/burnsville-men-charged-with-burglarizing-nicollet-junior-high
Listening to: The entire "North" album by Matchbox Twenty. Streaming on itunes!
Things going on today: First Tuesday of the semester. Singers auditions.
Blessings: No class. Computer labs at work.
Learned: The various facets of the human voice.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Some Memories
Driving to School early in the morning in Mike Sanderson's car with Annabell and Nick. Mike would always listen to the morning show on 93X Radio.
Speaking of 93X, listening to that station in my room on a Summer's day. I remember hearing Evanescence's "Call Me When You're Sober," as well as StoneSour's "Through the Glass" and Three Days Grace, "Animal I have Become."
Watching the entire series of Bones in my room until four in the morning one night, when I was home for the Summer in Minnesota after Freshman year.
Running up and down flights of stairs for Gym class with Kellie Dexter in eighth grade. I hated gym.
Running around and smiling at everyone after my High School graduation. The grass was dry. Elizabeth Klebenow said it looked like hay. It was slightly overcast and very windy.
The ninth-grade lock in, trying to catch a glimpse of Jake Gamauf wherever I went and sometimes going down to sing karaoke in the choir room.
Watching Clue with my theater friends in Wes's basement.
Storytime at Barnes and Noble, back when it was in that strip mall by Toys R' Us. My favorite lady at Storeytime had short red hair, smiley wrinkles, and big glasses.
Having the Stratmans show up at my door one day. Aaron said, "We're not here to play." And then Shannon said, "We're just here to deliver a table."
Talking to Ingrid on the bus about how a bag of some sort of snack said it had both natural AND artificial flavors. We wondered how that could even be.
Having this girl named Chelsea complain about her boobs as we changed into our pajamas one night, after she invited herself to sleep over at my house.
Turning up "Poker Face" as loud as possible as I drove my jeep out of the Senior Campus parking lot. In front of Jack Lassonde.
Learning the word "pusillanimous" in my tenth-grade English class. Ms. Sadar always wore clothing that reminded me of the "avant-garde."
Singing a high G on a thursday morning as the Singers n' Swingers sang "Let there be peace on earth." Ms. Bakken said, "Good job, Hannah."
Senora Walls teaching us Spanish back in elementary school. Whenever a certain part of one of the songs came on, she wagged her head around, and her big hair would whip back and forth.
Wearing Caitlyn's multi-colored skirt to Provo church one day, and feeling uncomfortable about how short it was, and how I would have rather worn her big green flowy skirt.
Talking with my mom about politics until we were both crying in the unique parking lot.
Watching the first ten minutes of the movie "Easy A" with Mark before turning it off.
Having Jeramy and Ashley sing the "Happy Happy Hannah, you look like a Banana" song.
Sitting with Liseth Flores and Allison Oatley at lunch in seventh grade.
Making chocolate pudding with Ellen.
Listening to: Aubrey Growling.
Things Going On Today: Boyfriend.
Blessings: Orange Juice.
Learned: A little about the Salt Lake Temple building structure.
Speaking of 93X, listening to that station in my room on a Summer's day. I remember hearing Evanescence's "Call Me When You're Sober," as well as StoneSour's "Through the Glass" and Three Days Grace, "Animal I have Become."
Watching the entire series of Bones in my room until four in the morning one night, when I was home for the Summer in Minnesota after Freshman year.
Running up and down flights of stairs for Gym class with Kellie Dexter in eighth grade. I hated gym.
Running around and smiling at everyone after my High School graduation. The grass was dry. Elizabeth Klebenow said it looked like hay. It was slightly overcast and very windy.
The ninth-grade lock in, trying to catch a glimpse of Jake Gamauf wherever I went and sometimes going down to sing karaoke in the choir room.
Watching Clue with my theater friends in Wes's basement.
Storytime at Barnes and Noble, back when it was in that strip mall by Toys R' Us. My favorite lady at Storeytime had short red hair, smiley wrinkles, and big glasses.
Having the Stratmans show up at my door one day. Aaron said, "We're not here to play." And then Shannon said, "We're just here to deliver a table."
Talking to Ingrid on the bus about how a bag of some sort of snack said it had both natural AND artificial flavors. We wondered how that could even be.
Having this girl named Chelsea complain about her boobs as we changed into our pajamas one night, after she invited herself to sleep over at my house.
Turning up "Poker Face" as loud as possible as I drove my jeep out of the Senior Campus parking lot. In front of Jack Lassonde.
Learning the word "pusillanimous" in my tenth-grade English class. Ms. Sadar always wore clothing that reminded me of the "avant-garde."
Singing a high G on a thursday morning as the Singers n' Swingers sang "Let there be peace on earth." Ms. Bakken said, "Good job, Hannah."
Senora Walls teaching us Spanish back in elementary school. Whenever a certain part of one of the songs came on, she wagged her head around, and her big hair would whip back and forth.
Wearing Caitlyn's multi-colored skirt to Provo church one day, and feeling uncomfortable about how short it was, and how I would have rather worn her big green flowy skirt.
Talking with my mom about politics until we were both crying in the unique parking lot.
Watching the first ten minutes of the movie "Easy A" with Mark before turning it off.
Having Jeramy and Ashley sing the "Happy Happy Hannah, you look like a Banana" song.
Sitting with Liseth Flores and Allison Oatley at lunch in seventh grade.
Making chocolate pudding with Ellen.
Listening to: Aubrey Growling.
Things Going On Today: Boyfriend.
Blessings: Orange Juice.
Learned: A little about the Salt Lake Temple building structure.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Moment I Wish To Remember: May 12, 2012
I'm still stuck in April in regards to my journal keeping. I have a lot to write about and document, so I'm taking my time doing it. BUT, in the meantime, life is still going on now and there are little things that happen every day that I probably should write down. So until Watson is all caught up (which may be a while), I'm going to mention one little moment I had with Ryan this past weekend here.
We were on our way to the Creamery last Saturday, passing by a small construction zone in between the Eyring Science Center and the SWKT. We were talking about holding hands or something, and this bird whizzes above our heads. All seemed right and good with that, except it crashed into the nearby chainlink fence with a loud "CLING." It was loud enough for Ryan to turn around and look in the general direction the bird was flying. My gaze shortly caught up with his.
And there it was, lying on the dusty ground, writhing in hopeless circles, only able to move one wing. It must have hit its head. It opened its beak wide over and over again, as if it were crowing out silent calls that we couldn't hear.
It died within thirty seconds. We saw it crowing, writhing, then it was still.
Wow. Watching something die is hard. Watching it with someone like Ryan makes it a little better.
Listening to: October 2007 General Conference.
Things Going On Today: FHE. Monday.
Learned: Elder Wirthlin's last talk standing up was October 2007. Elder Nelson came up to support his trembling body as he spoke.
Blessings: Sleeping in. Friends who give me rides home from work.
We were on our way to the Creamery last Saturday, passing by a small construction zone in between the Eyring Science Center and the SWKT. We were talking about holding hands or something, and this bird whizzes above our heads. All seemed right and good with that, except it crashed into the nearby chainlink fence with a loud "CLING." It was loud enough for Ryan to turn around and look in the general direction the bird was flying. My gaze shortly caught up with his.
And there it was, lying on the dusty ground, writhing in hopeless circles, only able to move one wing. It must have hit its head. It opened its beak wide over and over again, as if it were crowing out silent calls that we couldn't hear.
It died within thirty seconds. We saw it crowing, writhing, then it was still.
Wow. Watching something die is hard. Watching it with someone like Ryan makes it a little better.
Listening to: October 2007 General Conference.
Things Going On Today: FHE. Monday.
Learned: Elder Wirthlin's last talk standing up was October 2007. Elder Nelson came up to support his trembling body as he spoke.
Blessings: Sleeping in. Friends who give me rides home from work.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
DC Trip Part !#
A bit of Artsyness of my own...
My sweet mother, admiring art.
A hurried picture of the Washington Monument.
The American Indian Museum. We never went inside, but isn't it a cool building?
Ellen and Nathan, lookin' hot.
Pocahontas?
Nathan
Ellen
Modern architecture.
Neo-Classical Architecture
The outdoor rose garden, featuring roses and a host of other pretty green things.
Nathan, posing.
Ellen, my darling sister, posing.
Me... in a very flattering outfit... NOT.
Look... a bee.
This is one of my favorite pictures of all time. Taken completely by accident.
Rose garden.
FACE IN LEAF.
Most of the roses were dead or dying. Not this one...
FamFam
My dear sweet parents. This is why I love them.
Awww, Han, quit with the mushy stuff!
Another favorite picture, again taken by accident.
Gaaa, I just can't get OVER how cute my sister is!
Dad. :D I love him.
Look! A cool exotic flower!
I took this picture more for mom's sake. She liked the design and wished she could duplicate it somehow in our backyard. Let me know how that goes, Mom.
Right outside the Smithsonian "Herbarium," which I greatly would have liked to see. But it was closed, so take a looka t the building. The plant life surrounding it is meant to represent different classes of plants from around the world. It's kind of a fun little adventure.
What a great family experience, this DC trip o' mine.
Listening to: "Helena Beat" by Foster the People. My new obsession.
Blessings: Thanksgiving dinners. Family. Friends. A computer. A piano. Three-day weekends. No work. No snow. And my best friend is coming back to BYU this winter. SO THANKFUL.
Things Going On Today: Try things NOT going on today. No school. No work. No parties. I'm free to do homework ALL DAY.
Learned: What the phrase "Loss of Down" means in football.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
More Moments...
Listening to My Chemical Romance on my way home from school on a rainy day with my giant silver CD player that I had in Junior High School. I didn't want to go home right away because I was feeling the bloody ambiance of the music blend with the wet green vegetation. I can smell it.
Decorating my door with fun tye-dye wrapping paper my freshman year at Heritage. I had a lot of fun adding ribbons and stickers and random newspaper-clipped words to create an amazing collage that depicted the personalities of both myself and my roommate Ellen. I miss that door.
Watching "Hunchback of Notre Dame" with my friend Katie in her basement while building the 3-D puzzle of Notre Dame on her carpeted floor. She got me that puzzle for my birthday, and made me brownies with marshmallows in them. I really love my friend Katie.
Sitting in the Heart of the City one summer evening with Charles talking about how to deal with people who are atheists. We had light-sabers with us because we were planning on having a light-saber fight with other kids, but they never showed up, so we just talked. Charles is a good guy.
Sitting in Brother Sprague's basement as my mom belted out Reba McIntyre and Martina McBride with the impromptu ward country band. Brother West and Ben Miller were there, too. And Katie played the piano. One time, Ben wasn't there, but he left his sweatshirt from the week before, and I tried to smell the sweatshirt to see if I could catch the scent of Ben Miller, but I of course had no sense of smell so I was met with disappointment.
Flipping off a kid because he slammed his locker door into my head in Junior High.
Wearing Caitlyn's multi-color checkered skirt to church during one visit to Utah. The skirt felt awkward and short. She made me wear it because she said I wore black too much, which was just the way I liked things.
Eating at King's Buffet with Wes, Joe, and Mike. Playing with crab's legs like little kids. When we moved the claws in and out, they looked like little mouths.
Walking to the "Unbirthday Party" hosted by the 15th ward with Jacob and Adam. Jacob kept asking me if I was cold because I was wearing a white dress in 30-degree weather. Little did he know how happy and warm I felt. Especially after passing Jordan Beal. Two hot guys in one place. That was pretty epic.
Staying up til 7 AM watching Bones in my room in nothing but a Bra.
Hearing Hunter say that I was an "all-around good person" during our sixth grade class. We had to pull names from a basket and say something nice about that person we drew. I felt so loved right then, I cried. But I didn't let him see.
Listening to: "Fire Burning" by Sean Kingston (always wanted to make an a capella version of this song...)
Things Going On Today: Institute, home teachers come over, I pull an all-nighter with friends last night.
Blessings: Tennis shoes. The sun. Those friends I stayed up all night with.
Things Learned: Aerial fireworks are only legal for this year because it's been so rainy. The terms "first and second degree" are no longer used when medical professionals diagnose burns.
Decorating my door with fun tye-dye wrapping paper my freshman year at Heritage. I had a lot of fun adding ribbons and stickers and random newspaper-clipped words to create an amazing collage that depicted the personalities of both myself and my roommate Ellen. I miss that door.
Watching "Hunchback of Notre Dame" with my friend Katie in her basement while building the 3-D puzzle of Notre Dame on her carpeted floor. She got me that puzzle for my birthday, and made me brownies with marshmallows in them. I really love my friend Katie.
Sitting in the Heart of the City one summer evening with Charles talking about how to deal with people who are atheists. We had light-sabers with us because we were planning on having a light-saber fight with other kids, but they never showed up, so we just talked. Charles is a good guy.
Sitting in Brother Sprague's basement as my mom belted out Reba McIntyre and Martina McBride with the impromptu ward country band. Brother West and Ben Miller were there, too. And Katie played the piano. One time, Ben wasn't there, but he left his sweatshirt from the week before, and I tried to smell the sweatshirt to see if I could catch the scent of Ben Miller, but I of course had no sense of smell so I was met with disappointment.
Flipping off a kid because he slammed his locker door into my head in Junior High.
Wearing Caitlyn's multi-color checkered skirt to church during one visit to Utah. The skirt felt awkward and short. She made me wear it because she said I wore black too much, which was just the way I liked things.
Eating at King's Buffet with Wes, Joe, and Mike. Playing with crab's legs like little kids. When we moved the claws in and out, they looked like little mouths.
Walking to the "Unbirthday Party" hosted by the 15th ward with Jacob and Adam. Jacob kept asking me if I was cold because I was wearing a white dress in 30-degree weather. Little did he know how happy and warm I felt. Especially after passing Jordan Beal. Two hot guys in one place. That was pretty epic.
Staying up til 7 AM watching Bones in my room in nothing but a Bra.
Hearing Hunter say that I was an "all-around good person" during our sixth grade class. We had to pull names from a basket and say something nice about that person we drew. I felt so loved right then, I cried. But I didn't let him see.
Listening to: "Fire Burning" by Sean Kingston (always wanted to make an a capella version of this song...)
Things Going On Today: Institute, home teachers come over, I pull an all-nighter with friends last night.
Blessings: Tennis shoes. The sun. Those friends I stayed up all night with.
Things Learned: Aerial fireworks are only legal for this year because it's been so rainy. The terms "first and second degree" are no longer used when medical professionals diagnose burns.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
When you put your brain plane on autopilot, sometimes the plane flies in weird places...
I've been thinking a lot about memories lately. They are interesting things. Apparently, every time you remember something, you are only further perverting the memory. Things get bigger, details hide away, reality is progressively distorted. That's an interesting concept to me. That means some of my most precious memories of the past could now not be memories at all, but figments of my imagination. Maybe I plant memories in my own head so that they are how I wished them to be, but not really how they were. What is my earliest memory? I used to think that I could remember a time when I was probably two-and-a-half or three years old. I was still living in the gray house, and I had broken something on the stone fireplace mantle. Something made of glass. The glass was blue... An adult was there, scolding me for touching things that shouldn't be touched and for being careless, but I can't remember if it was my dad or my mom or my grandmother. For some reason I remember the fireplace was in the basement, but there was no stone mantle fireplace in the basement. And I remember the blue glass vase or whatever it was to be something that belonged to my grandmother... But my grandmother wasn't living with us at the time. When I was three, we moved into her house, and she also had a stone mantle fireplace. And what parent would scold a two-year-old as harshly as I remember being scolded? Maybe I was a little older than two... So maybe I'm remembering a true event, just in the wrong place and at the wrong time. Maybe it's not an actual event I am remembering, but a feeling. A feeling of guilt, sadness. But is that really a memory? Perhaps I just fashioned the whole thing in my head.
Man, now my brain hurts.
We're reading about Proust in my Humanities Class. In that book, he talks about an experience he had when he again tasted a madelaine cake that he used to eat in his childhood. His aunt would give it to him when he visited. Sure, he had seen the cakes many a time since those days, but only when he tasted and smelled it did the vivid image of standing beside his aunt come back in full force. Funny how memories work that way. Sometimes you remember something you forgot you remembered, and it takes very special circumstances to get that memory going again. Often smell or taste is the most direct way to conjure a memory. Matter of fact, when I'm thinking about certain times and certain places, I can almost still smell the same scents that were present at the time of the memory. I remember the smell of the Stratmans' house, the rainy air of the Oregon coast, the stale scent of Mr. Morgan's physics classroom, and the rancid stench of the cows at the Minnesota State Fair. I recall the bland taste of the gel my orthodontist used to take molds of my teeth, my mom's stromboli she used to make when the missionaries came over, the gummi worms I had during my breaks at work, and the taste of Jake Tengelsen's lips on mine when he first kissed me that summer of 2007. Yes, smell and taste are such amazing and powerful memory tools!
Some other tiny memories I can randomly recall that I didn't ever remember I had....
Brandi Tucker expressing her excitement about the upcoming Owl City Concert during calculus class.
Pie day with Freestyle, the day before Thanksgiving Break. Andrew brought Banana cream.
Going to Target to pick up Christmas presents after work one day.
Sitting in the balcony overlooking the stage on the right side of the Mraz Center during Hell Week of Into the Woods. Doing my homework up there. Mike coming to visit from down below. I felt like Rapunzel.
Playing WarioWare with my roommates when I knew I should be doing my homework.
Playing Sardines with Devin in the dark, and seeing Jordan Beal while I played.
Bonfire with the Raceks. We were screaming so loud playing night games, the police came to shut us up.
Sitting with mike in his turquoise convertible after my grad party and staying there in his arms til one.
Mr. Franssen giving me a death stare if I started talking too much with my neighbors.
Falling asleep in Mr. Heaton's Social Inequality class.
Getting the word "would" wrong in the class spelling bee in first grade. Chad Thompson got it right.
Going straight from band class home in eighth grade, bragging to my friends about how I'm getting free guitar lessons from my bishop.
Trying to make a whole world out of my backyard.. Winona Valley, Mr. Salt's store, Strongholds palace.
Seeing the words "NO HANNAH ALLOWED" whitewashed onto one of the boards in the Winey's Treehouse.
Talking to Tara Ryder about God on my way home from an ugly Oklahoma Cast party. What a kind soul to do that for me.
Dad losing his temper because the house wasn't clean, throwing everything in bags and fuming.
Trying to drive my car when the frost was covering the windshield. I didn't get very far before I knew this was super dangerous.
Walking around the campus where we held the five-stake girls camp. Katie was with me. Later dancing with my pipe-cleaner tiara around my room, thinking I looked beautiful and that god loved me.
Walking around the circle building with Whitley before classes started in Eighth grade.
Missing my first class with Jason Stocker because we didn't know where the right room was. Holy cow Jason Stocker....
Talking to Taggart about popularity while wandering around his basement, fidgeting with the exercise equipment.
Kevin Phyle saying "LUNCH" obnoxiously during Ms. Brickner's class before lunchtime.
Dancing around with Ellen during twilight on a summer evening. Singing very loudly.
Getting new bed curtain things to hang in my room as a compromise for wanting a canopy bed.
Listening to: Feul's "Hemorrhage"
Things Going on Today: meet with the Omni Landlord, homework.
Blessings: Saturday mornings. Snow. Grooveshark.
Man, now my brain hurts.
We're reading about Proust in my Humanities Class. In that book, he talks about an experience he had when he again tasted a madelaine cake that he used to eat in his childhood. His aunt would give it to him when he visited. Sure, he had seen the cakes many a time since those days, but only when he tasted and smelled it did the vivid image of standing beside his aunt come back in full force. Funny how memories work that way. Sometimes you remember something you forgot you remembered, and it takes very special circumstances to get that memory going again. Often smell or taste is the most direct way to conjure a memory. Matter of fact, when I'm thinking about certain times and certain places, I can almost still smell the same scents that were present at the time of the memory. I remember the smell of the Stratmans' house, the rainy air of the Oregon coast, the stale scent of Mr. Morgan's physics classroom, and the rancid stench of the cows at the Minnesota State Fair. I recall the bland taste of the gel my orthodontist used to take molds of my teeth, my mom's stromboli she used to make when the missionaries came over, the gummi worms I had during my breaks at work, and the taste of Jake Tengelsen's lips on mine when he first kissed me that summer of 2007. Yes, smell and taste are such amazing and powerful memory tools!
Some other tiny memories I can randomly recall that I didn't ever remember I had....
Brandi Tucker expressing her excitement about the upcoming Owl City Concert during calculus class.
Pie day with Freestyle, the day before Thanksgiving Break. Andrew brought Banana cream.
Going to Target to pick up Christmas presents after work one day.
Sitting in the balcony overlooking the stage on the right side of the Mraz Center during Hell Week of Into the Woods. Doing my homework up there. Mike coming to visit from down below. I felt like Rapunzel.
Playing WarioWare with my roommates when I knew I should be doing my homework.
Playing Sardines with Devin in the dark, and seeing Jordan Beal while I played.
Bonfire with the Raceks. We were screaming so loud playing night games, the police came to shut us up.
Sitting with mike in his turquoise convertible after my grad party and staying there in his arms til one.
Mr. Franssen giving me a death stare if I started talking too much with my neighbors.
Falling asleep in Mr. Heaton's Social Inequality class.
Getting the word "would" wrong in the class spelling bee in first grade. Chad Thompson got it right.
Going straight from band class home in eighth grade, bragging to my friends about how I'm getting free guitar lessons from my bishop.
Trying to make a whole world out of my backyard.. Winona Valley, Mr. Salt's store, Strongholds palace.
Seeing the words "NO HANNAH ALLOWED" whitewashed onto one of the boards in the Winey's Treehouse.
Talking to Tara Ryder about God on my way home from an ugly Oklahoma Cast party. What a kind soul to do that for me.
Dad losing his temper because the house wasn't clean, throwing everything in bags and fuming.
Trying to drive my car when the frost was covering the windshield. I didn't get very far before I knew this was super dangerous.
Walking around the campus where we held the five-stake girls camp. Katie was with me. Later dancing with my pipe-cleaner tiara around my room, thinking I looked beautiful and that god loved me.
Walking around the circle building with Whitley before classes started in Eighth grade.
Missing my first class with Jason Stocker because we didn't know where the right room was. Holy cow Jason Stocker....
Talking to Taggart about popularity while wandering around his basement, fidgeting with the exercise equipment.
Kevin Phyle saying "LUNCH" obnoxiously during Ms. Brickner's class before lunchtime.
Dancing around with Ellen during twilight on a summer evening. Singing very loudly.
Getting new bed curtain things to hang in my room as a compromise for wanting a canopy bed.
Listening to: Feul's "Hemorrhage"
Things Going on Today: meet with the Omni Landlord, homework.
Blessings: Saturday mornings. Snow. Grooveshark.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
30-Day Song Challenge: Day 7 -- A song that reminds me of a certain event
Clay Aiken's "Invisible"
Reminds me of Easter morning in my living room. I was... what? Fifteen?? I think fifteen. Maybe fourteen. I got this in my easter basket from my parents.
Listening to: This song.
Blessings: Lemonade, warm weather
Things Going On Today: ASL test, I buy taco salad supplies, and I re-write a paper.
Reminds me of Easter morning in my living room. I was... what? Fifteen?? I think fifteen. Maybe fourteen. I got this in my easter basket from my parents.
Listening to: This song.
Blessings: Lemonade, warm weather
Things Going On Today: ASL test, I buy taco salad supplies, and I re-write a paper.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
30-Day Song Challenge: Day 6 -- A song that Reminds me of Somewhere
Billy Gilman's "My Girl" reminds me of the Colorado highway.
Why, you ask?
Well I got this CD when I was around twelve years old. My step-grandma Mary gave it to me in one of those goody bags she always gives us when we go on a long journey somewhere. In this case, it was to Utah. She already had me hooked on Billy Gilman when she gave me "One Voice" a few years earlier. So I knew perfectly well that this CD was going to be amazing.
This was back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth and we used portable CD players. My mom and dad had a crappy old one and I would listen to this CD non-stop in the car on our way though Colorado.
Why, you ask?
Well I got this CD when I was around twelve years old. My step-grandma Mary gave it to me in one of those goody bags she always gives us when we go on a long journey somewhere. In this case, it was to Utah. She already had me hooked on Billy Gilman when she gave me "One Voice" a few years earlier. So I knew perfectly well that this CD was going to be amazing.
This was back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth and we used portable CD players. My mom and dad had a crappy old one and I would listen to this CD non-stop in the car on our way though Colorado.
Listening to: It's Gonna Rain
Blessings: Honest girls who give you back your sunglasses, seeing RMs that you haven't seen in three years, really nice comments on your papers when you get them returned from the teacher.
Things Going on Today: Dinner Group at Julias... ten minutes ago.
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