40 Things that are Wrong with Nicole Westbrook's "It's Thanksgiving"

Happy late Thanksgiving, everyone.

Here's something to be thankful for.  This gem given to us by media-obsessed corporate America.  One of the notorious creations of producer Patrice Wilson (known especially for birthing Rebecca Black's "Friday" through ARK Music Factory).

I present to you here, for your entertainment, my list of things that are wrong with this video.  There are a lot of them.  I'll try to keep it all in chronological order.

PROLOGUE:
Before I start my actual list, I just would like to say that the fact that this video even exists is wrong in its own right.  The purpose of Mr. Wilson's company is to give young rich kids a chance to perform in a music video. Parents will shell out thousands of dollars to this company in hopes that their child will become the next Justin Bieber, not acknowledging the fact that their precious kiddies have little to no talent, and that they are putting the fate of their child's future into the hands of a "composer" and "producer" who writes nothing more than garbage. And, to make matters worse, these videos are posted on YouTube and the people involved are expecting them to be taken seriously!  Watch twenty seconds of this video and you know exactly what you're going to get: self-obsession and decadence in the form of a cheap music video.  It's a grand waste of time, money, and effort. You'd think we'd learn after the "Friday" debacle that this is in no way a good thing for society.  But no.

Alright... now to this music video in particular...

1.  While the video actually seems somewhat promising at the beginning, one can't help but notice just how many filler "ohs" and "yeahs" are happening as this long introduction plays.  When does this song actually START?  And what exactly is it ABOUT?
2.  She's sitting on a bed, in what could easily be the most awkward sitting position one has ever seen.  Who exactly is she singing to?  We still don't know yet what this song is actually about.
3.  Her shirt reads "Dance Until Dawn."  How old is this girl?  Doesn't she still have a bedtime, or are her parents even bigger idiots than I thought?
4. That "Come on" that happens 27 seconds in?  That did not need to happen.  This girl obviously is a better singer than Rebecca Black, but nevertheless, this is rather unimpressive vocal work.
5.  "I'm wide awake, and I should take a step and say thank you..."   An okay sentiment, I suppose.  It's good to say "thank you."  But "wide awake"?  Why is this significant?  How early is this?  She's still in her bedroom, so... Morning?  How early? She's fully clothed, looks pretty well-groomed...  At least with Rebecca Black, we saw her at "7 AM, waking up in the morning" with some level of disheveled bedhead.  If you're going to literally translate lyrics into images for the benefit of the lowest-common-denominator idiot of a viewer who can't figure it out without your spoonfeeding, you should probably be consistent.  Moving on...
6.  "For the things you've done, and what you did."  Redundancy at its finest.
7.  45 seconds in, we cut to a montage of ridiculous holiday scenes cut straight out of an American Girl catalog.  Contrived "Greeting Card" poses and all.  I feel sorry for all of those other kids.
8. In "Friday," we learned that Sunday comes after Saturday.  Here, we learn that "December was Christmas, January was New Year's..." etc.  How dumb do you think your audience is, Mr. Wilson?
9.  And heck, all you do is end what should have been a final independent clause with "And the Fourth of July."  Idiotic sentence fragment.
9. I'm sure Valentine's Day and Halloween feel left out.
10.  Fourth of July scene, at around 56 seconds.  Does no one see the definite EDGE of those fireworks?   It's a poorly-edited, square-shaped stock-footage firework video added in later.  Obvious low-budget editing going on here.
11.  Alright, this girl is preparing food on a stove, seemingly without adult supervision (unless you count the guy using the camera, but honestly who knows?).
12.  And what the BLEEP is she preparing??  Stuffing?  Something like that?  What kind of Thanksgiving dinner is this actually going to be??
13.  1:22.  She's pulling out a giant turkey, by herself.  WHERE ARE THIS GIRL'S PARENTS??
14.  1:26.  That looks like mac n' cheese.  Nothing says Thanksgiving like Mac n' Cheese.
15.  I have failed to mention the fact that this girl is singing "We, we, we, we gonna have a good time."  I can barely tolerate it when 30-year-old black male rappers use this kind of grammar.  Having a 9-year-old white girl say it?  I shudder every time.
16.  1:36.  I am getting so tired of this camera trick.
17.  1:38.  I guess the only qualm I have here is how incredibly tacky that decoration is, and how much more tacky it becomes when juxtaposed with the tacky lighthouse.  And why is she putting this up ON Thanksgiving day?  Don't you usually put out decorations as a PREPARATION for the holiday?  (Actually, considering what I've seen this year, shouldn't there be CHRISTMAS decorations up at this point?)
18.  "No matter how you do, no matter what you say, this is my favorite."  Okay.  That sentence DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.
19.  And just when you thought the stinking holiday montage was as crazy as could get, now we've got the token middle-aged black guy (Patrice himself, who somehow thinks it's cool to cameo in his own videos) showing up in the middle of the tween festivities, smiling and nodding as if he were singing to two-year-olds who didn't have a clue when New Year's was.  He's the only adult ever to be seen in this video.  Any relation to the other kids?  Not that I can see.  It's a little creepy.
20.  2 minutes in, and now we have Thanksgiving guests.  Once again, no parents.  As happy and fun as this all looks, a part of me wonders how these kids are all allowed to just go over to a friend's house on Thanksgiving.  Don't they all have families they want to see?  Aren't they travelling?  Isn't there some familial obligation they must meet?  Where do a bunch of kids have the time (or the stomach?) to bring food over and have Thanksgiving with other kids, while their families may have their own traditions and plans?  Doesn't make any sense.
21.  2:07.  That pose.  "Put your hand on your hip, Nicole!  There!  Now you look NATURAL!"  There's mugging all over in this vid, but that one's almost as bad as the bed shots.
22. 2:14.  She says "turkey."  Those look like RIBS to me.  (Not like Nicole's complaining, look at that fist-pump she does at the sight of them!)
23. 2:17.  She says "mashed potatoes," but it looks like this boy has brought yams.  Or beets.  Or something.  Obviously Nicole doesn't quite approve.
24. And, of course, the token black guy shows up... in a turkey costume.  I'm sure that's a tradition in many American homes...
25.  NO PARENTS at this feast...  Just the turkey-clad chaperone, and I honestly am questioning his intentions at this point.  Perhaps he's a homeless guy just trying to get food.
26. 2:29.  All heads are bowed for the saying of grace... And then Nicole has the audacity to interrupt the group during a time of prayer!  No wonder she gets the death stare from several kids afterwards.
27.  Wait... the death stare isn't because she interrupted grace. It's because she's miserably attempting to rap.
28.  "It's thanksgiving-giving and I'm tryin' to be forgiving..."  Eminem could probably pull off that slant rhyme.  Nicole cannot.
29.  "Nothin' is forbidden."  Nothing?  Food fight? Alcohol?  Drugs?  After all, no parents here to stop us from doing anything.  Mr. Turkey's probably high already.
30. 2:36  "You know we gotta have."  Gotta have WHAT?
31.  "Can't be hateful/Gotta be grateful" is immediately reversed to "Gotta be grateful/can't be hateful."  Ugh.  This guy's lyric skills are pathetic.
32.  "I got ribs, smellin' up my neighbor's cribs."  Not sure what's more ridiculous: the notion of having ribs at a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, or the fact that this tiny white girl just said the word "cribs."
33. "We be laughing 'til we cry."  All kinds of awkward right there.
34. 2:58... Aaaaaand now she's using a turkey leg as a microphone.  Holy. Crap.  This has got to be a joke.
35.  3 minutes:  Not a joke.  She's still using that turkey leg as a microphone.
36.  3:06.  Turkey's in the Christmas scene.
37.  3:22.  And he's barbecuing on the Fourth of July.
38.  Those are some half-hearted "eh's" and fist-pumps there, background kids.
39.  3:34.  Cheesiest way to end a music video ever.  That awkward smile as you look at an awkward picture of an awkward thanksgiving dinner where some awkward, creepy guy in a turkey suit shows up to eat your ribs and mac n' cheese.
40. Oh look!  And there's the Christmas card picture, too!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

My Favorite and Least-Favorite Moments from Lady Gaga's Videos

So the "Applause" video came out this week... And I'm very impressed.
So impressed, in fact, I wanted to take a minute and evaluate exactly where this new video ranked among my other favorite Lady Gaga music videos.  Surprisingly, this took a bit of thought, and it led to me going back and re-watching each of the 15 Lady Gaga music videos and coming up with a very deliberate list of best to worst, in my own personal opinion.

In this post, I am going to reveal that list, one video at a time, from worst to greatest, according to my personal opinion at the present time.

The cool thing about opinions is that they are able to change.  There are no immutable rules when it comes to art and taste.  As new videos get released and as I change as a person, this list may very well change.  But for the moment, let's just appreciate Gaga and her iconic work since the beginning.  Maybe this will change the way you see some of her videos. 

#15: The Edge of Glory

Definitely the most minimal of all of the music videos by Gaga. I understand that there were some extenuating circumstances in the creation of this video.  The planned production fell through and they had to come up with something brand new at very short notice.  It's quite a shame, because this is probably the most epic and the most personal song on Born This Way.  This video really could have been great.  But it turned out to be very uneventful, unexciting, and unimpressive.  It's just Gaga dancing around on what looks like an empty stage for Rent.  To add insult to injury, the amazing Clarence Clemons, who features in the song, was given hardly any stage time.  This was his final public work before his death in 2012.  I sure wish there was a little more for him to show for it.

Favorite Moments: Considering its clumsy creation, this is still a pretty good video. It's nice to see Gaga all alone, without any fancy choreography and backup dancers to distract us from her raw emotion and passion for what she is singing about.  There is only one real outfit worn for the entire video (another unique factor): some archives borrowed specially for this purpose by Donatella Versace.  The look was well chosen. Love the hairstyle, especially. The video has some beautiful moments, as well.  The lightpost shot (a la Gene Kelly in Singin' in the Rain) was pretty iconic, as well as the few moments where Clarence is pictured.  But overall, you hardly need to watch this video twice, and for Gaga, that's almost challenging.  

#14: Born This Way

I'm sure a lot of people will be upset that Born This Way is so low on my list.  It's not terrible.  None of Gaga's videos are terrible.  But this video is (in my opinion) very immature and puts Gaga in a very pretentious light.  I feel like Gaga is taking herself WAY too seriously in this video.  Okay, sure, she's passionate about social issues like marriage equality and self-worth, but I feel like this video not only feeds into the ever-growing cult of self-esteem practiced by today's youth, but it also puts Gaga up on an almost God-like pedestal, as if she herself can change people's opinions about prejudice in one fell swoop, single-handed.  She can't.  Ironically, so many people judge her for using religious imagery in her other videos like for "Alejandro" and "Judas," but I think this video is more sacrilegious than any of her other endeavors.  She's a creator of a new race, embodying all-powerful forces of good and evil. Calling the birth of the new non-prejudiced race "infinite," referring to herself as an "eternal mother" hovering in a multiverse, and redefining the origins of good and evil... Such language makes me uncomfortable. Particularly the last line: "How can I protect something so perfect without evil?" Sounds like she's trying to play God, or at least be one of his chosen prophets, campaigning for self-worth and punishing those who disagree with her view.  I understand it's all metaphor, but it seems very self-righteous and short-sighted.  As influential as Gaga is, she had let her fame and influence get to her head by the time this video was made (ironic, since she is so obsessed with Fame and claims to have such control over it).  

Favorite Moments: Aside from the message and dialogue, this video is pretty impressive as far as imagery and music goes.  I love the moments where Gaga is just rocking out, without planned choreography.  Whether she's dressed in the bikini, the skull make-up, or the strange alien-like zipper outfits she's got when she's surrounded by other alien heads... I just love seeing Gaga caught up in a passionate moment.  She's quite pretty when she doesn't have eyes on her chin.  The exchange she has between Rick Genest (aka Zombie Boy -- the guy with the skull tattooed on his face) is my favorite part.  I also love the final scene -- the references to Gaga's childhood, as well as icons like Michael Jackson with those gloves. That carried so much  more meaning for me than the flowery language and ridiculous kaleidoscopic birth scenes you've got at the beginning of the video. I would watch the final refrain to the end over and over again and be just fine.  

#13: Beautiful Dirty Rich

This video ranks low mainly because it is not memorable.  It is, however, very iconic of Lady Gaga's early style.  The bottle-blonde, hooded, pantless, glasses-wearing superstar that has become a household name no longer exists.  She has long outgrown the retro Bowie-homage that she had in her early twenties, but videos like this immortalize that iconic "Gaga" image so well.  If you ever miss the old Gaga, watch this video and the nostalgia will come flowing back to you. However, this video doesn't do as effective of a job as the film for "Just Dance."  They are both very similar, and this one has sort of followed off the radar, while "Just Dance" has continued to stay in the limelight, even five years after it came out.
Favorite Moments: It's kind of nice to see Gaga just being young, wild, and free. This video, along with the video for "Just Dance," represent the grassroots, rags-to-riches, love-in-the-little-things attitude that so many young people enjoy.  The statuary, the piano, the wads of cash, the lipstick... No agendas, no huge shock-value stunts, just sex, fashion, and lotsa dough. It's less about specific imagery; it's just the overall party atmosphere I love. This was what got Gaga on the map.  I sometimes wish she remembered her roots.  What makes an icon are the things that you do consistently without fear that make you memorable.  

#12: LoveGame

Another unmemorable music video, but I like the costumes, setting, and choreography in this one more than that in "Beautiful Dirty Rich."  This is during Gaga's "lavender-blonde" stage, which I like a lot.  And there's the use of the iconic "disco-stick."  There is a lot of questionable content here.  She's very naked in some scenes, and the dancing is pretty suggestive.  But this still follows with the more simple time of Gaga's career when it wasn't as much about making a statement and pushing the envelope as it was about just being your crazy no-pants self in the middle of a subway with a bunch of sexy friends, both male and female.
Favorite Moments:  The motifs.  The lavender-blonde color scheme, the disco stick, and the Stevie Boi fence glasses.  Also the pretty bob she's got going on during her nothing-but-glitter scenes.  You appreciate this video more if you've seen the Monster Ball.  Very urban-chic.  The kind of thing that inspires you to appreciate the mundane scenery in your life.

#11: Eh Eh (Nothing I Can Say)

Okay, I wish Gaga knew how wonderful she is when she's not being pretentious.  This video, like the song, is just adorable.  She's constantly smiling throughout the whole thing, and while not very much goes on during the video, it just gives the audience a chance to sit back and enjoy Little Italy the way Gaga would: in heels, with friends, and with plenty of man-candy.  This video becomes more meaningful when you learn that Gaga's parents are Italian immigrants, and that she's a sucker for Italian cuisine.
Favorite Moments: The hairbow.  Definitely one of my favorite Gaga looks ever.  Also love the yellow flower dress she wears near the end, complete with the Baby-G watch.  And there's something super sexy about pink heels in bed, ironing in a leotard, and slurping up spaghetti with a hot man. This is a have-fun video.  Bubblegum pop reborn.  I like it.

#10: Just Dance

You've probably noticed that all of Gaga's earlier videos come one after another on this list.  That's because most of them are very similar to each other.  As I mentioned before, "Just Dance" and "Beautiful Dirty Rich" are almost carbon copies of each other.  Gaga's look is basically the same, and she's doing pretty much the same kind of goofing off and partying with friends in both videos.  But, of course, "Just Dance" has become the iconic, go-to video if you want a good look of how Gaga got her start.  You've got the partying, yes, but also the disco bra, the blow-up whale, and the cameo appearances of the likes of Space Cowboy and Colby O'Donis.  There's the nod to David Bowie with the big blue lighting bolt on Gaga's face.  There's antics and shenanigans had by all.  No inhibition, no worry about tomorrow.  This video captured the "carpe deum" movement that is so prevalent in music today before it was cool.  It's this kind of stuff that probably inspired divas like Ke$ha to try a crack at party-girldom.
Favorite Moments:  The disco bra, the iconic hairstyle, the Gaga hand gestures, and the overall atmosphere.  I tend to live vicariously through videos like this one.  And I have for a long time. This video definitely unlocks a great deal of nostalgia for me. This is the Gaga I would try to emulate when I looked in the mirror when I was a senior in high school.  It was after watching this video when I started wearing huge sunglasses and animal print.  It was this retro, electro-pop style that got me out of my goth phase and into the world of mature art and fashion.
 
#9: Telephone

This video is so full of amazing, I'm sort of surprised it only comes in at #9.  But then I remember that there are several things in this video that I don't love.  Namely, the overabundance of shock without much substance.  As awesome as it is to pay respects to the pop art movement pioneered by folks like Andy Warhol, it's not as revolutionary or inspiring in today's world.  Now, I know it's Jonas Ackerlund's style to stylize, and that's fine.  It's just not my favorite style.  I like the more grown-up approach to telling a story, rather than feeling like I'm standing before a firing squad of brand names, references, and Americana.  I'm also not the HUGEST fan of the whole short-film style that Gaga uses in some of her videos. In this one, she has been sent to jail, but then gets bailed out by Beyonce, and the two of them proceed to poison everyone in a little diner before making a Bonnie-and-Clyde escape in the famous Tarantino Pussywagon. The narrative is only indirectly connected to its supposed predecessor, "Paparazzi." I almost wish there wasn't a connection between the two, because they're different enough for the flow to not be there.  Furthermore, the song is broken up by silly dialogue. Part of me feels like the music should speak for itself.  And speaking of music, another complaint I have about this video is the fact that it has hardly anything to do with the message that is presented in the actual song lyrics.  Prison? Crime? Diners? Pussywagons? What does this have to do with leaving your head and your heart on the dance floor?  NOTHING!
Favorite Moments:  All this being said, I obviously like the video enough to have it in my top ten.  First of all, it's definitely engaging and entertaining.  It's colorful and iconic.  And while I dissed all the comic-book and brand-name allusions in the earlier paragraph, I'm going to go ahead and applaud them here in pretty much the same breath.  The Coke-can hair is ingenious, and it is genuinely GAGA. I don't think any other artist has done anything like that before. And the caution tape look is amazing.  While there were a lot of things in the video -- particularly during the prison scenes -- that made me feel a little uncomfortable, I really think the fashion choices were epic.  The striped jailbird look, the chains and cigarette glasses, the studded bikini, and the departure outfit (complete with that cute little sashay) create a very artistic approach to prison.  That's fun.  And Beyonce is such a good sport!  She's put in these ridiculous situations and she actually sort of pulls them off.  Finally, the Americana dance number at the end of the video is icing on the cake for me.  That choreography is spectacular!  I definitely felt moved by this video when I saw it for the first time.  And that means, to me, that it was successful and important.

#8: Paparazzi

I probably like this Ackerlund-directed Gaga video more than "Telephone" because it came first.  This was Gaga's first venture into the genre of short-film style music video.  It depicts two destructive relationships: the one between Gaga and her boyfriend, and the one between Gaga and her fame.  Unlike "Telephone," the music in this video is not half as fragmented and cut up for the sake of dribbly dialogue.  It's got a provocative beginning and a very concrete conclusion, with tons of great fashion choices in between.  While it is definitely a little out there, I feel like this video represents one of Gaga's high points.  Her epic VMA performance, her iconic blonde bangs, and her complete obsession with fame... all of this stemmed from endeavors like the "Paparazzi" music video.  This video stays out of my top five mainly because it's a little boring.  There's not a ton going on for the whole middle of the video.  It's not quite as visually interesting as some of her other works.
Favorite Moments:  I love the wheelchair/crutches scene.  The symbolism behind that -- that Gaga is just as crippled by the pressures of fame as she is crippled by a broken leg -- is portrayed very effectively.  This whole idea continues throughout the video as images of murdered women flash on the screen, all with impeccable apparel and stylized poses.  I also love the dance sequence where Gaga's in a white jumpsuit with oversized "poufs."  There are moments there where she just lets the music take her into a frenzy, and I live for those moments.  Finally, the murder scene is quite epic.  I love her makeup, glasses, and jumpsuit.  Very naughty.  And, as icing on the cake, you've got the mug shots that just glue into your brain.  This video shines in the fact that its message is very clearly portrayed in a very artistic way.  Props.

#7:  Marry the Night

This is definitely the most autobiographical of Gaga's videos, and most likely the one with the most emotional investment put into it.  When I first saw this music video,  I didn't like it that much.  But the more I learn about it, the more I appreciate it.  It is definitely more of a cerebral artistic work than it is a music video.  Meant more for a gallery than for MTV.  A lot of it goes over my head, but I think that's part of the nuance of it.  These are things GAGA understands and GAGA cares about -- it's like a glimpse into another person's soul.  You really can't understand everything, but you can at least enjoy the aesthetic of it.  I'm a little more satisfied with the monologue of this video than I am with the "Born This Way" monologue. I love that line about the beadazzler. The burning car scenes and the stripped down "rehearsal-mode" shots in the middle of the clip are sort of passive, but that may be just because I don't understand the imagery. It's a lot more introspective and a lot less pretentious.  But still, Gaga's taking herself pretty seriously here.  But what artist doesn't?
Favorite Moments:  The Ballet scenes.  Hands down, I LOVE that outfit and those awesome Tatehana shoes.  I'm also a pretty big fan of how artistic the hospital wing became in the hands of the Haus.  Gaga's whole spiel about the nurses and their Calvin Klein coats and romantic beret-esque nets... Way to see beauty in the details. The apartment scenes -- although in some ways a little disturbing -- were beautifully executed.  I'm also a pretty big fan of the ending of the video, pretty much from around the point where they begin dancing in the street up to the final shot of that cosmic Philip Tracey hat.  That montage of images hearkening back to Gaga's early days were something I could relate to.  Grassroots artist becomes worldwide superstar.  This is the American dream, with a dark Gaga twist.

#6: Pokerface

This was the first Lady Gaga video I ever fell in love with.  Even though not much goes on in this video, it is visually stimulating, colorful, and incredibly sexy.  Furthermore, it contains some of my absolute favorites of Gaga's looks.  The hairbow, the crystalline motifs, the disco mask, the Haus-of-Gaga video glasses...  It was this video that got me into Lady Gaga.  Strip poker and pelvic thrusts aside, it's pretty calm, by Gaga standards.  Again, there's something to be said for just making fun music without pretentiousness or agenda.
Favorite Moments: The fashion and the close-up shots.  The poolside choreography is also pretty sweet.  I love that blonde hair.  She's just so young here! And there's just enough poker in it for the music to be relevant. It's fresh and wonderful!

#5: Applause

Now you know where her newest video goes on the list!
I honestly feel like this is a rare instance where the music video actually adds to the song and makes the music more enjoyable.  Usually videos do the opposite for me.  But the thing about this song is it needs a visual context.  It's a club piece, so it's less about what you hear and more about what you experience while hearing it.  Thus, having a video to attach some extra-sensory, multi-media contexts to the music was not only pleasant, but almost necessary.  And the visuals that were chosen were on the whole very good choices.  There's plenty going on in this video.  I've read several reviews that state that the endeavor was more of an artistic one than a pop one, and I'd have to agree.  Inez and Vinoodh are good at this kind of montage work.  Gaga moves from one look to another, and manages to fit in all of them like a glove.  From the crazy Marilyn-caged look to the simple brunette in underwear on a mattress.  It all looks natural for Gaga.  The only part that I personally deem unsuccessful was the part where her head is precariously juxtaposed with the body of a goose.  Not only does it look a little hackneyed, I also don't understand the reference or symbolism in that image.
Favorite Moments:  I love the way Gaga looks in the black bodysuit.  Very classy and very effective.  And when you add the colors to her face to create this sort of harlequin-esque display is almost haunting.  I also love the dance parts, particularly when she's just rocking out in her natural brunette hair and underwear.  There's passion in that.  I also love when she just goes bat-crap crazy and has a nice little seizure in her bikini made of black-gloved hands.  I appreciate the symbolism of the wings (sign of liberation and rebirth), the leg she carries into the spotlight (reference to her recent surgery that led to the sudden cancellation of her tour last year), and the Boticelli Birth of Venus (once again, a sign of a new birth).  Her sandy-blonde hair with that shell bikini reminds me of Mariah Carey, which is a compliment because Mariah is hot.  Her crazy faces are also pretty awesome.  I just like it when artists lose themselves in whatever it is they're doing.  It looks like Gaga had a fun time making this video.  I sense the emotion and joy behind it.  It's well-made.

#4: Alejandro

There are moments in this video that give me chills, even now, after watching it dozens of times. But before we get to the amazing stuff I'm gonna just mention the parts of this that bug me.  First of all... I think it's supposed to be about marriage equality, but I honestly get lost in the narrative.  You've got guys in fishnets and heels, sure.  And you've got lots of military motifs, perhaps representing the ferocity and aggression that exist within this "war" of ideals within American society.  And you've got the images of burning buildings and overall mayhem... a reference to a specific event?  I'm not sure.  There's just a lot going on in this video, and while I appreciate this kind of narrative more than that of the "Telephone" video, I still get a little lost and I must rely on the music and the aesthetic quality of the video to keep me interested.  Perhaps this is as it should be.  After all, shouldn't the music video be about the music?  And the music of "Alejandro" is not really about all that stuff.  It's about Gaga's fear of commitment.  And you can see that in some of the imagery.  The heart left exposed on a black silk pillow, the queen-like Alexander McQueen look, also seen at the beginning of the video, the gun-bra, even the choreography with the other male dancers... I understand all of these images.
People give Gaga a lot of crap for using religious imagery in this video, but I honestly don't mind it.  People have used religious motifs -- particularly Catholic motifs, because there are a lot of them and they're easily recognizable -- in musical and artistic endeavors for ages.  It denotes piety and devotion.  The fact that Gaga is dressed as a nun for parts of the video, for me, help add to the message of the song; she's afraid to commit to a sexual relationship because of events and convictions she has made in the past.  The cross is purposefully placed in the region of her crotch to symbolize the hopeful preservation of her virtue in the face of selfish and prideful men.  It really all makes sense.  Of course, these things make people uncomfortable, and that's yet another reason why Gaga does it.  She loves shocking people and goes to great heights to do so.
Favorite Moments:  The most amazing part of this video is, in my opinion, the black-and-white shots of Mother Monster, clad in a sexy black halter-top and wide-leg pants, strutting herself in solitude, a la Madonna during her "Vogue" period.  It's SUCH an effective shot.  And while the dance she does with her femmy male dancers and gun bra are definitely striking, there's nothing quite like that sexy snap-strut she does near the end of the video.  I also love love love the images of her singing on a makeshift stage, with the glasses and the microphone.  The McQueen look is also so regal. These shots are beautiful to me.  The whole video remains in a very stoic, bi-chromatic place.  The theme runs like a lifeblood throughout the whole thing.  It's well crafted.  Well done, GagaKlein!

#3: You and I

Choosing between "You and I" and "Alejandro" was very hard because they are both great for similar reasons.  While "Alejandro" maintains a cold, stoic mood as it cuts from one unique image to another, "You and I" also maintains its mood, despite all of the crazy changes that occur within it.  Except "You and I," on the whole, is more warm and approachable than "Alejandro."  It's got more of a personal touch, and it isn't quite as self-aware.  In this video, Gaga gets a chance to show her more goofy side.  What with Yuyi the mermaid, the frolicking wood nymph, the aqua-haired dominatrix, and Joe Calderone, this was Gaga's way of exposing the broad spectrum of Gaga's personality.  It also tells a definite story.  She's returning to a love she once knew. After a long period of experimentation and self-discovery, Gaga discovers that the thing she really wants may very well have been the thing that was there all along. As strange and unorthodox as home may seem, it's still home.
Favorite Moments:  There are many, but above all, Joe Calderone.  I'm almost disturbed at how attracted I find myself to this character.  Even though he's obviously got a drinking and a smoking problem and he's feeling up his alternate identity like no one's watching.  But man, don't they both look like they're having a ton of fun out in that cornfield?
I also love the daylight scenes, as Gaga's making the journey to the barn.  That cyborg look is awesome.  And while I feel like the mermaid sex is a little graphic, I appreciate the notion of mermaid/human romance.  And that's a pretty well-created mermaid costume. There's just something very beautiful and simple about it.  The fashion in all of this is really creative.  And the sweet wedding images that we see throughout really are icing on the cake for me.  Great song.  Great imagery.  Just great.

#2: Judas

I love this video.  It's colorful, it's interesting, it tells a story, it's unique, and in some ways it's very simple.  First of all, it's not one of those crazy short films.  It's mostly just about the music, and the images pertain to what the music is talking about.  You've got a twist on the story of Christ and Judas Iscariot, ingeniously told within the setting of an urban biker community.  And in the midst of it all, you've got Lady Gaga, who plays a role similar to Mary Magdalene, although there really isn't much there to support the notion that she actually is Mary.  She obviously has feelings for both Jesus and Judas, and she obviously knows the right choice, but it's still a very difficult choice to make.  There are very few criticisms I can make about this video.  I guess she's got a few immodesty moments, but this is honestly one of the more tame and clean Gaga videos.  And (as with "Alejandro") there is always the whole sacrilege thing.  But I don't think it's that terrible to portray the story of Christ this way.  It's really no worse than Jesus Christ Superstar.  Again, Gaga is using religious imagery (particularly the notion of betrayal with Judas) to carry a message.
Favorite Moments: The clothing.  The setting.  The colorful palate.  The gangsta moves.  The premise.  The makeup and nails.  The hair (particularly in the washing scene) and the final image of Gaga being stoned (killed by fame?) while wearing dapper dancing shoes. Plus... a lipstick gun to accompany the betraying kiss?? What a novel idea!  Also, this ties with "Bad Romance" for best choreography.  This is one of the few videos where I actually really like watching Gaga dance in synchronization with other people.  It's airtight and full of energy.  I am in love with this video.

#1: Bad Romance

Honestly, the one thing that keeps this video at #1 and not "Judas" is the sheer impact that this video has had on Gaga's career and the way we see pop music and videos.  It cannot be denied that "Bad Romance" was one of the greatest music videos released during this decade.  The iconic images that have come out of this video, the level of shock that it stirred, and the pure artistic beauty of it was leaps and bounds ahead of its peers.  This is where Gaga introduces the notion of the "Monster" into her fans' vocabulary.  And this is where she finally sealed the deal in regards to her complete nuttiness in the eyes of the industry.  You've got the twitchy, anime-eyed bath scenes, the sallow ribcage that make her nude scenes not sexy, but monstrous, and the last image of her lying in bed with a pyrotechnic bra and a burnt skeleton.  Yep.  Gaga's nuts.
Favorite Moments:  The choreography.  It's powerful and unique.  Definitely the greatest Gaga has ever seen.  I mean, can you imagine Gaga without her monster claws?  You can't!  Also the Alexander McQueen Armadillo shoes.  And the black outfit. And the "Orbit" look is in this one, too.  And the bathing scenes.  Oh gosh, the whole thing is just so classic, you can't pin down just one point that is more awesome than the others!  I love this video, and I think the entire world loves it too.

Scars/To the New Boyfriend

I really want to post this in more places, but it hits so close to home and I know that people will tell me I shouldn't post this so early after things happened.  But man... It's like this guy took all of my feelings and presented them in a form more perfect than I can imagine.

So real.... It all felt so real.

I think God told me to look up some Slam Poetry today.

Listening to:  Josh Groban Christmas music from the distant downstairs.  Loving home.
Blessings:  Parents.  A's.  New sequin jackets.
Learned:  A little more about the terrible shooting that happened in a Connecticut Elementary School today.  There are some things I wish I could un-learn.
Things going on today:  NOTHING.  I'm gonna veg all day today.  And I'm loving it.

Happy Happy Easter!!

First of all:  Happy Easter, everyone!  

One of my favorite Easter traditions of all time involves watching Easter Parade (starring the dashing Fred Astaire and Judy Garland) with my mother and sister after dinner on Easter Sunday. (Dad hates movies, so he'd never join in.)  Being the fashionista that I am, I always loved looking at all of the hats and dresses that were worn throughout the movie.  And of course, the music is so much fun.  

This was arguably my favorite scene from the movie growing up.  What a great dancer, that Fred!

Anyway, I thought I'd do a little bit of research about the Easter Parade that happens every year on 5th Avenue in New York.  Apparently it began sometime in the 1800s when all the aristocrats of Manhattan would parade the latest fashions after they went to church.  Apparently flamboyant bonnets were in style back then, and the fad never really died each Easter season.  

Nowadays it's a lot like Halloween, where people have yet another excuse to make all-out spectacles out of themselves and get away with it.  It would be a dream come true to celebrate Easter in one of those amazing hats someday.  To the drawing board!  I'm off to design the best Easter Bonnet ever!!

Listening to:  "Shaking the Blues Away" performed by Ann Miller on Easter Parade.

Things Going On Today:  A light Easter Dinner with my aunt and grandparents.  Also, I sang a solo today in sacrament meeting. 

Blessings:  Not as much homework as you think you have. 

Learned:  Easter Parades have religious significance; they were used a long time ago to represent the processional triumphant entry of Christ into Jerusalem the week before his crucifixion.  Apparently it is also a tradition to wear new clothing on Easter.  

If You're Gone, Maybe It's Time to Come Home

Listening to:  This
Blessings:  One day more...
Learned:  Big Bang Theory is the best show ever.
Things Going On Today:  Kung Fu Panda 2 tonight at AA