Okay weirdest, most passionate dream I've had in a while last night.
I dreamt I was over at the Deavens and they had an even younger brother who was fifteen years old, a sketch artist, and SO HOT. I dreamt somewhere along the line I got knocked out and when I woke up, he was hovering over my head saying "Baby, you okay?" Turns out I had had sex with the man and fainted in the process. So for the rest of the dream I was following him around, wanting to have sex with him again. I didn't even for a minute think about how it was totally illegal for me -- a nineteen year old woman -- to have sexual relations with a fifteen-year-old. But then he told me "I'm running away to Chicago and we'll never see each other again." And that killed me. It killed his family, too. All this time they were pining at the decisions made by this little brother -- I think his name was Troy. So I tried asking Troy if he loved his family one day when he needed to close a window down in his basement bedroom. He was in a hurry, because another young teenage friend was just outside waiting for him. He answered "Yes, and no." I also asked Troy why I had fainted and gotten amnesia, and he insisted that it was his amazing sex that did it. He was almost proud of it. And then I decided to pretend to faint again just to see whether or not he would respond. I heard him go over it in his head. "Okay... last time, what did I do? I got my sister, laid over her head and called her baby. Yes, that did it." So he did that. That's when I pretended to come to and said in a slurred voice, "I'm not your baby." And he kept saying yes you are! That's when I left him. Got in the car with my sister, and tried to drive for home. Except county road 13 was all blocked off. Apparently there was some new security logistics I had to pass through. My cousin riley was there. We had to take off our shoes and walk this maze made out of cardboard. It was small and relatively easy but the pathways were so thin and flimsy I just knew one of us was going to fall right through. So I tried cheating. I tried hopping from path to path until the end. That almost got me disqualified so then I went back and tried sliding on my butt all the way across. I was the last person to finish, and I was complaining the whole time. "What about people with bad vision perception?" I asked. "They wouldn't be driving 13 to begin with!" Someone said. "Okay, what about the people who don't work well under pressure? Or the morbidly obese! Pretty sure this thing is about to give way under me and I'm only 135 pounds!" I felt like a black woman with 'tude. They kept saying we had to do this. When I was finally done, I went over to a security woman and asked, "Why is there so much ridiculous security on this road?" And she answered, "See that skull tattoo on my hand? That's the mark of Seely Booth. He instigated this process. Then I said, "Well, I'm Temperance Brennan." "How do you do, Dr?" The woman responded, suddenly very respectful. "I'm fine, but I'm going to have a word with Booth about this. This is ridiculous." I responded. Then I left, and by that time I was waking up.
I had another dream where I was Temperance Brennan. I was running away from my father, who was a high-and-mighty politician. I ran all the way to the junior high school and my best friend was there (I don't think she exists in real life). She led me to a car which was actually a trap laid by my father. So I ran away and found my boyfriend, who looked like Elder Walley, and we flew off together... literally flew. We flew over the trees and the buildings and suddenly we were in Canada and it was dark and snowy. We stopped in a little wooden attic and there we had oral sex. I looked in a mirror and saw Dr. Brennan.
I keep seeing myself as Dr. Brennan in my dreams. Do I see her as myself? Obviously I'm also horny because all my dreams are about sex. Who can decide what they dream though? I guess I can decide not to talk about it... but I didn't.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
A Dress A Day Keeps the Demons at Bay
Originally posted on Outward Expression.
This first one was purchased at the Minneapolis Farmer's Market. It was made in India and is 100% cotton. It is white with black stencil-styled flowers and has lace detail and buttons with a tiered full skirt. It twirls beautifully. I love this dress. For some reason, it has a Victorian feel to me, even though anyone who wore this during Victorian times would be told immediately to put on some proper clothes. It's probably the combination of buttons, lace, and a full skirt.
The second dress was a Target sale-rack find. It is a classic wrap dress in a beautiful, bold teal. The waist is a little high, as is often the case with Target dresses for some reason, but I really like it all the same. This was the $6 dress. I like not only the look of wrap dresses, but also the ease of taking them off and putting them on.
This last dress I got at TJMax. It's a strapless, button up dress with a tie in the back. I love the color and the rose pattern.
Undergarments
Originally Posted on Outward Expression.
I think bustiers are a lost art, honestly. Sure, they're not comfortable, or practical, but I feel sexy and sophisticated when wearing one. I got this one at Target yesterday for $6 (it was on the 30% off rack, and I was curious). I really like it, and now i have something to wear under dresses that gives me a nicer shape than I usually have.
ALEJANDRO
Okay I really could go on and on about how I feel about ALEJANDRO... And since I've got the whole day ahead of me, I think I will.
0:00 -- GAGA.
Okay, already I can tell this Lady thinks a lot about herself as an icon and a household name. Why else would she have such a title such as GAGAKLEIN: ALEJANDRO. She's playing off her fame and her iconic figure. Part of me thinks, "how prudish." Another part of me thinks, "Well, she IS an icon, after all." So I don't know.
0:07 -- Boys in Fishnets?
I DON'T GET some of the scenes in this video. This is one of them. Some of them look like drag queens, others like Nazis. What's the connection? In the meantime, though, I realize that boys just don't belong in fishnets and high heels. This is the first of many motifs Gaga uses to create shock value. That's pretty much what the entire music video is... one shocking scene after another to get recognized and to make waves.
0:22 -- Bar?
Where are these guys anyway? And WHO are they? I keep seeing the same people over and over again and I am assuming they all have names. What is the significance of this?? Why, again, are they dressed like Nazis?
0:41 -- Military Men
Okay so I might get the symbolism of this: Perhaps its the pride and militancy of the gay community? Gaga talked a lot about that before the video came out. She said it was about her love of the gays and how pure her friendships were with gay men. But I'm having trouble seeing this in the video. So I'm taking a wild guess. These guys look like military personell. The choreography is very firm, very strong. But why, then, does it look so negative?
1:01 -- What are they wearing?
What are these guys wearing? What's with the strange Jewish Cross machine type thing and those other weird metal accessories?
1:05 -- The music finally begins.
This musical line from Czardas plays waaaay too many times at the beginning. In the meantime, though, that is an amazing outfit she's got on. Probably my favorite in the whole video.
1:10 -- Her heart.
This, I'm guessing, is her heart. They're holding a funeral of some sort, but is it for her? I don't think so... I'm guessing it's for her heart. She stands in the procession and says that line, "I know that we are young and I know that you may love me, but I just can't be with you like this anymore, Alejandro." Is this because her heart has been broken? Or eaten? Or turned to stone? Hmmm....
1:15 -- Coffin.
For whom? She's standing right there, so it can't be hers! Is it for her heart? Not very logical... so who's in the coffin?
PS This scene reminds me very much of the music video for "The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. The snowy, ashy landscape, the funeral march, the militant aesthetic.
1:23 -- Mansion
Is this her mansion? Is she queen over something? Are those guys standing around her her bodyguards of sorts? It's a beautiful scene, but what does it mean? And the marching noises in the background? Is it supposed to mean anything? With GAGA, you can never tell what sort of messages she's trying to convey...
1:45 -- Who died?
Perhaps it was Alejandro who was in the coffin? What a beautiful scene this is!
1:53 -- Evandro
So apparently, this guys name is Evandro. Which is interesting because there was never an Evandro mentioned in the song. The guy's cute, though the chain that comes down on his chin is kind of annoying and he most definitely looks like a queer. (Interesting placement of gun on his lap...) What is HIS significance? He's on a bed that looks like it's held up by lines of some sort... And still the military-esque uniform. What is going on? I suppose thus far it's just a montage of images that later will be explained.
2:05 -- Alex McQueen
That's an Alexander McQueen headpiece she's wearing, and it's gorgeous. I love "the look" she puts on in this video... little eye makeup, bowl cut, pale skin. It's cool. She talks funny in this video, though. Her teeth poke out a little too much. She has REALLY changed since she began with The Fame. Once again, those lines, what do they mean at this point? Who is she really talking to?
2:20 -- The music finally starts!
I love this image of her with the pipe, overlooking her little dancer minions, though I don't quite get what it is she's doing, looking at them while they have a little circle fight dance thing down there. Is she an overseer to some gay brothel? Does she love those men? Are those men fighting over her? Is she observing as they try to live in harmony but end up falling into war and pain? What is with all this SYMBOLISM???
2:34 -- Crown
I love this crown thingy she wears with the bug eye things! She is a work of art in this scene. The way she moves herself as she sings, the makeup she wears, it's all sort of minimalistic in nature. So cool.
2:45 -- Very little makeup.
Gaga's got very little makeup around her eyes, which is in extreme contrast to her Telephone video, where she had almost too much. Her lips, though, are still very red. I'm surprised they never stain her teeth as she sings. It's robotic, almost, the way she moves her mouth.
2:48 -- Background
What's with the flaming screen in the background? I hardly noticed that until now... It's like the same fire/fight scene we see much later in the video. What does this symbolize? A gay rally gone awry? I keep thinking it's got something to do with the gays because she kept SAYING it had something to do with the gays. I really couldn't tell otherwise!
3:39 -- Ouch.
Fighting going on... but what for?
3:42 -- The ever-controversial Nun outfit
First of all, everyone says that nun habit looks "sexy." No it doesn't. Not really. Her face is way too pale, no hair, it's made of latex... how is that sexy? Granted, it is definitely a perversion of what otherwise would be a holy garment. I'll get to that whole thing later. I just want to say now that the habit is NOT very flattering on her. Though the lighting of it is great, it gives almost a purple quality to the red of her heart and of this habit.
What's happening here, I wonder? She keeps saying "just let me go" and she looks awful distressed. Is she trapped in that bed? There's still those wires everywhere and she's got a lot of religious imagery around her. I read an article about how gaga's religious imagery symbolizes the sacrificial air of the Catholic church. Some churches are "happy churches" where it's all about loving god and praising yourself. But there are other churches that require you to note the pain and the bad things that are in the world... the weaknesses in yourself. Catholics are a good example of this, and Gaga's lyrics all have this sort of self-hate aesthetic to them. So this is a really good example of that. Moving on...
3:52 -- Sex
What is this? They look like a bunch of hospital beds (once again, MCR). And she's wearing such ugly underwear (no offense, Calvin Klein). I think this is another attempt at shock value. "Let's add some sex in to make people gasp some more!"
Erotically speaking, this looks painful and it involves bondage. Some people have a fetish for that stuff, I guess, but I don't. And all the guys are wearing those high heels again... not natural. Seeing all this sex stuff juxtaposed with the "purity" of the nun habit makes me wonder if GagaKlein is trying to compare the pure to the ugly, the bitter and the sweet part of a person.
4:14 -- I don't know what to think about these men...
They've all got beatles cuts, they're all very gay, dancing like girls. They're wearing supertight short shorts and military boots... not in the least attractive, the lot of them, including Gaga. This video sure doesn't flatter anyone.
4:19 -- Choreography
I'm impressed. Particularly because Gaga can keep track of the words she's supposed to sing in the meantime. That looks like very intricate dancing. What I love is that some of the guys look more girly when they dance like this than Gaga does... perhaps that's the point.
Furthermore, Gaga is a SKINNY MINNIE!!!
4:42 -- Lots of touching....
Okay so if this is supposed to be about the gay community, why are all the guys feeling her up when she's a woman?
5:02 -- This is interesting...
First of all, cool flesh-tone heel-less nightwalker shoes, Gaga. But what are you doing dressed in a priestess's robe amongst all these homosexual men... who eventually make you take your clothes off? And throughout all this you have that same burning rally in the background.
Perhaps this is your movement from the pure to the unholy. Either way, you look quite like a mix of Joan of Arc and Eva Peron in this part.
5:15 -- Eating the Rosary
I guess I'll talk about the whole religious controversey now. I really didn't mind it that much when I saw it... but of course, I'm not catholic, nor do I esteem Catholic imagery as holy. If she were... say, humping a picture of Joseph Smith or making fun of temple covenants, I would DEFINITELY be offended. So in that sense, I'm a bit hypocritical.
Of course, seeing an upside down cross on Gaga's crotch was definitely shocking, it wasn't necessarily offensive to me. What was more offensive were the sex simulation scenes and the homosexual undertones... Why are people making such a big deal about mere symbols when there's actual satanic behavior going on right in front of them? I think we're missing the target here, people.
In the meantime, I also understand that there IS a method to Gaga's madness. She's trying to prove something. It may be her confusion she is currently experiencing when it comes to religion. It may be, as I said before, a tragic story about her loss of purity. It may just be something for people to talk about. I'm almost certain she added the Catholic imagery in for pure shock value. It gets people talking, just like her weird clothes and her bold personality. She likes being noticed, even if it's for things that aren't exactly positive. What I think we need to remember as viewers is that this is all for the sake of "art." Lady Gaga is all about artistic expression... even to extremes. So no, it's not bashing the Catholics, it's not forsaking her religious past, it's just art. Kind of like the naked statues we see that are done by ancient greeks... is it porn? NO! It's ART. Keep it at that level, and there shouldn't be more to worry about. And if you are uncomfortable with it, don't watch it. It's okay to not expose yourself to what you think is evil. I probably shouldn't be watching this myself, as a Mormon. Anyway... I'm getting off this soapbox now, and moving to another one... haha
5:38 -- I LOVE THIS PART.
This part made me cry the first time I saw it. It is SO madonna. It is SO michael Jackson. It is SO iconic. This is probably the thing we will see when we think of Lady Gaga in fifty years. She's wearing pretty normal clothes, still bold, but normal. A classic bowl cut. And she's just dancing. She looks BEAUTIFUL here. I love watching this!
And they even change the Alejandro chorus by taking out the percussion, so it's something we've never heard before. Genius.
6:20 -- Also very Madonna esque, a gun bra.
It didn't even register to me that those were guns the first time I saw it. This is also a very iconic part of the video. The dancing is very well coordinated, and yes, there is definitely some homage (or maybe it's mockery?) of madonna going on here.
6:37 -- another Musical surprise
This time they leave nothing but the percussion. And we see Gaga as an almost gangster looking person with the leather jacket and the glasses and the microphone. We don't see Lady Gaga actually "performing" on a stage with a microphone in her videos (the only one I can think of is Just Dance) so this is interesting. And she's doing it behind a cross, which is more interesting. And when you get this with a bunch of juxtaposed images of her with a guy on a bed, and then the rosary, it makes you wonder what she's trying to say.
Say, I think she's performing in that room that all the guys were in at the beginning! I hadn't made that connection until now! She's performing for the men in that bar! Perhaps that's the bar that's burning down on the screen over and over again? A gay bar? Two and two begin to come together....
7:02 -- Who is this guy?
Who is this guy? Is this the famous Alejandro? What is he doing? He looks like a police officer... amidst this firey scene. Is he just watching as carnage wreaks before him? Is he being a brutal police officer to a bunch of lesbians? Or is he beginning to see the error of his prejudistic ways? Or is it something completely different? (once again, I'm working off of what lady gaga has actually said about the video... gay pride) Is he watching as Gaga gets molested by all thes beatles-cut dudes? What is with this guy? Why is he here at the climactic part of the video? Is he the same guy we saw at the beginning at the bar? Who is he?
He's cute... that's for sure.
Is this firey rally the same as the fight Gaga seems to be having with all the guys. She does seem to be putting up a fight with them.
7:41 -- All the different parts of the video come together in this part... the microphone scene, the nun, the military men, the fire, the fight, the madonna dance.
7:56 -- They're throwing her around... why?
So she's in this symbolically holy garb, they make her take it off and she's naked... touched, fought over, naked... what does this mean? Perhaps she's showing how she feels around straight men. Like how all the good is taken out of her and she's left with nothing but an object, a body.
8:24 -- The last image we see is that Evandro guy again, and her in the bed with the nun habit. And then her face kind of burns up... something I didn't see coming. She sort of became a monster then, which is the theme of this whole album she's created. The pure died. The monster emerged.
SO... Now I'll show you and tell you what GAGA has said about the video:
On Larry King:
In fact, the Alejandro Video, which will premiere very soon... is a celebration of my love and appreciation for the Gay Community, my admiration of their bravery and their love for one another, their courage in their relationships. It's something I have yet to nail on the head with a man, Larry.
On a French Interview:
“It's about the purity of my friendships with my gay friends. And how I’ve been unable to find that with a straight man in my life.
"It’s a celebration and an admiration of gay love – it confesses my envy of the courage and bravery they require to be together. In the video I’m pining for the love of my gay friends – but they just don’t want me.”
0:00 -- GAGA.
Okay, already I can tell this Lady thinks a lot about herself as an icon and a household name. Why else would she have such a title such as GAGAKLEIN: ALEJANDRO. She's playing off her fame and her iconic figure. Part of me thinks, "how prudish." Another part of me thinks, "Well, she IS an icon, after all." So I don't know.
0:07 -- Boys in Fishnets?
I DON'T GET some of the scenes in this video. This is one of them. Some of them look like drag queens, others like Nazis. What's the connection? In the meantime, though, I realize that boys just don't belong in fishnets and high heels. This is the first of many motifs Gaga uses to create shock value. That's pretty much what the entire music video is... one shocking scene after another to get recognized and to make waves.
0:22 -- Bar?
Where are these guys anyway? And WHO are they? I keep seeing the same people over and over again and I am assuming they all have names. What is the significance of this?? Why, again, are they dressed like Nazis?
0:41 -- Military Men
Okay so I might get the symbolism of this: Perhaps its the pride and militancy of the gay community? Gaga talked a lot about that before the video came out. She said it was about her love of the gays and how pure her friendships were with gay men. But I'm having trouble seeing this in the video. So I'm taking a wild guess. These guys look like military personell. The choreography is very firm, very strong. But why, then, does it look so negative?
1:01 -- What are they wearing?
What are these guys wearing? What's with the strange Jewish Cross machine type thing and those other weird metal accessories?
1:05 -- The music finally begins.
This musical line from Czardas plays waaaay too many times at the beginning. In the meantime, though, that is an amazing outfit she's got on. Probably my favorite in the whole video.
1:10 -- Her heart.
This, I'm guessing, is her heart. They're holding a funeral of some sort, but is it for her? I don't think so... I'm guessing it's for her heart. She stands in the procession and says that line, "I know that we are young and I know that you may love me, but I just can't be with you like this anymore, Alejandro." Is this because her heart has been broken? Or eaten? Or turned to stone? Hmmm....
1:15 -- Coffin.
For whom? She's standing right there, so it can't be hers! Is it for her heart? Not very logical... so who's in the coffin?
PS This scene reminds me very much of the music video for "The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. The snowy, ashy landscape, the funeral march, the militant aesthetic.
1:23 -- Mansion
Is this her mansion? Is she queen over something? Are those guys standing around her her bodyguards of sorts? It's a beautiful scene, but what does it mean? And the marching noises in the background? Is it supposed to mean anything? With GAGA, you can never tell what sort of messages she's trying to convey...
1:45 -- Who died?
Perhaps it was Alejandro who was in the coffin? What a beautiful scene this is!
1:53 -- Evandro
So apparently, this guys name is Evandro. Which is interesting because there was never an Evandro mentioned in the song. The guy's cute, though the chain that comes down on his chin is kind of annoying and he most definitely looks like a queer. (Interesting placement of gun on his lap...) What is HIS significance? He's on a bed that looks like it's held up by lines of some sort... And still the military-esque uniform. What is going on? I suppose thus far it's just a montage of images that later will be explained.
2:05 -- Alex McQueen
That's an Alexander McQueen headpiece she's wearing, and it's gorgeous. I love "the look" she puts on in this video... little eye makeup, bowl cut, pale skin. It's cool. She talks funny in this video, though. Her teeth poke out a little too much. She has REALLY changed since she began with The Fame. Once again, those lines, what do they mean at this point? Who is she really talking to?
2:20 -- The music finally starts!
I love this image of her with the pipe, overlooking her little dancer minions, though I don't quite get what it is she's doing, looking at them while they have a little circle fight dance thing down there. Is she an overseer to some gay brothel? Does she love those men? Are those men fighting over her? Is she observing as they try to live in harmony but end up falling into war and pain? What is with all this SYMBOLISM???
2:34 -- Crown
I love this crown thingy she wears with the bug eye things! She is a work of art in this scene. The way she moves herself as she sings, the makeup she wears, it's all sort of minimalistic in nature. So cool.
2:45 -- Very little makeup.
Gaga's got very little makeup around her eyes, which is in extreme contrast to her Telephone video, where she had almost too much. Her lips, though, are still very red. I'm surprised they never stain her teeth as she sings. It's robotic, almost, the way she moves her mouth.
2:48 -- Background
What's with the flaming screen in the background? I hardly noticed that until now... It's like the same fire/fight scene we see much later in the video. What does this symbolize? A gay rally gone awry? I keep thinking it's got something to do with the gays because she kept SAYING it had something to do with the gays. I really couldn't tell otherwise!
3:39 -- Ouch.
Fighting going on... but what for?
3:42 -- The ever-controversial Nun outfit
First of all, everyone says that nun habit looks "sexy." No it doesn't. Not really. Her face is way too pale, no hair, it's made of latex... how is that sexy? Granted, it is definitely a perversion of what otherwise would be a holy garment. I'll get to that whole thing later. I just want to say now that the habit is NOT very flattering on her. Though the lighting of it is great, it gives almost a purple quality to the red of her heart and of this habit.
What's happening here, I wonder? She keeps saying "just let me go" and she looks awful distressed. Is she trapped in that bed? There's still those wires everywhere and she's got a lot of religious imagery around her. I read an article about how gaga's religious imagery symbolizes the sacrificial air of the Catholic church. Some churches are "happy churches" where it's all about loving god and praising yourself. But there are other churches that require you to note the pain and the bad things that are in the world... the weaknesses in yourself. Catholics are a good example of this, and Gaga's lyrics all have this sort of self-hate aesthetic to them. So this is a really good example of that. Moving on...
3:52 -- Sex
What is this? They look like a bunch of hospital beds (once again, MCR). And she's wearing such ugly underwear (no offense, Calvin Klein). I think this is another attempt at shock value. "Let's add some sex in to make people gasp some more!"
Erotically speaking, this looks painful and it involves bondage. Some people have a fetish for that stuff, I guess, but I don't. And all the guys are wearing those high heels again... not natural. Seeing all this sex stuff juxtaposed with the "purity" of the nun habit makes me wonder if GagaKlein is trying to compare the pure to the ugly, the bitter and the sweet part of a person.
4:14 -- I don't know what to think about these men...
They've all got beatles cuts, they're all very gay, dancing like girls. They're wearing supertight short shorts and military boots... not in the least attractive, the lot of them, including Gaga. This video sure doesn't flatter anyone.
4:19 -- Choreography
I'm impressed. Particularly because Gaga can keep track of the words she's supposed to sing in the meantime. That looks like very intricate dancing. What I love is that some of the guys look more girly when they dance like this than Gaga does... perhaps that's the point.
Furthermore, Gaga is a SKINNY MINNIE!!!
4:42 -- Lots of touching....
Okay so if this is supposed to be about the gay community, why are all the guys feeling her up when she's a woman?
5:02 -- This is interesting...
First of all, cool flesh-tone heel-less nightwalker shoes, Gaga. But what are you doing dressed in a priestess's robe amongst all these homosexual men... who eventually make you take your clothes off? And throughout all this you have that same burning rally in the background.
Perhaps this is your movement from the pure to the unholy. Either way, you look quite like a mix of Joan of Arc and Eva Peron in this part.
5:15 -- Eating the Rosary
I guess I'll talk about the whole religious controversey now. I really didn't mind it that much when I saw it... but of course, I'm not catholic, nor do I esteem Catholic imagery as holy. If she were... say, humping a picture of Joseph Smith or making fun of temple covenants, I would DEFINITELY be offended. So in that sense, I'm a bit hypocritical.
Of course, seeing an upside down cross on Gaga's crotch was definitely shocking, it wasn't necessarily offensive to me. What was more offensive were the sex simulation scenes and the homosexual undertones... Why are people making such a big deal about mere symbols when there's actual satanic behavior going on right in front of them? I think we're missing the target here, people.
In the meantime, I also understand that there IS a method to Gaga's madness. She's trying to prove something. It may be her confusion she is currently experiencing when it comes to religion. It may be, as I said before, a tragic story about her loss of purity. It may just be something for people to talk about. I'm almost certain she added the Catholic imagery in for pure shock value. It gets people talking, just like her weird clothes and her bold personality. She likes being noticed, even if it's for things that aren't exactly positive. What I think we need to remember as viewers is that this is all for the sake of "art." Lady Gaga is all about artistic expression... even to extremes. So no, it's not bashing the Catholics, it's not forsaking her religious past, it's just art. Kind of like the naked statues we see that are done by ancient greeks... is it porn? NO! It's ART. Keep it at that level, and there shouldn't be more to worry about. And if you are uncomfortable with it, don't watch it. It's okay to not expose yourself to what you think is evil. I probably shouldn't be watching this myself, as a Mormon. Anyway... I'm getting off this soapbox now, and moving to another one... haha
5:38 -- I LOVE THIS PART.
This part made me cry the first time I saw it. It is SO madonna. It is SO michael Jackson. It is SO iconic. This is probably the thing we will see when we think of Lady Gaga in fifty years. She's wearing pretty normal clothes, still bold, but normal. A classic bowl cut. And she's just dancing. She looks BEAUTIFUL here. I love watching this!
And they even change the Alejandro chorus by taking out the percussion, so it's something we've never heard before. Genius.
6:20 -- Also very Madonna esque, a gun bra.
It didn't even register to me that those were guns the first time I saw it. This is also a very iconic part of the video. The dancing is very well coordinated, and yes, there is definitely some homage (or maybe it's mockery?) of madonna going on here.
6:37 -- another Musical surprise
This time they leave nothing but the percussion. And we see Gaga as an almost gangster looking person with the leather jacket and the glasses and the microphone. We don't see Lady Gaga actually "performing" on a stage with a microphone in her videos (the only one I can think of is Just Dance) so this is interesting. And she's doing it behind a cross, which is more interesting. And when you get this with a bunch of juxtaposed images of her with a guy on a bed, and then the rosary, it makes you wonder what she's trying to say.
Say, I think she's performing in that room that all the guys were in at the beginning! I hadn't made that connection until now! She's performing for the men in that bar! Perhaps that's the bar that's burning down on the screen over and over again? A gay bar? Two and two begin to come together....
7:02 -- Who is this guy?
Who is this guy? Is this the famous Alejandro? What is he doing? He looks like a police officer... amidst this firey scene. Is he just watching as carnage wreaks before him? Is he being a brutal police officer to a bunch of lesbians? Or is he beginning to see the error of his prejudistic ways? Or is it something completely different? (once again, I'm working off of what lady gaga has actually said about the video... gay pride) Is he watching as Gaga gets molested by all thes beatles-cut dudes? What is with this guy? Why is he here at the climactic part of the video? Is he the same guy we saw at the beginning at the bar? Who is he?
He's cute... that's for sure.
Is this firey rally the same as the fight Gaga seems to be having with all the guys. She does seem to be putting up a fight with them.
7:41 -- All the different parts of the video come together in this part... the microphone scene, the nun, the military men, the fire, the fight, the madonna dance.
7:56 -- They're throwing her around... why?
So she's in this symbolically holy garb, they make her take it off and she's naked... touched, fought over, naked... what does this mean? Perhaps she's showing how she feels around straight men. Like how all the good is taken out of her and she's left with nothing but an object, a body.
8:24 -- The last image we see is that Evandro guy again, and her in the bed with the nun habit. And then her face kind of burns up... something I didn't see coming. She sort of became a monster then, which is the theme of this whole album she's created. The pure died. The monster emerged.
SO... Now I'll show you and tell you what GAGA has said about the video:
On Larry King:
In fact, the Alejandro Video, which will premiere very soon... is a celebration of my love and appreciation for the Gay Community, my admiration of their bravery and their love for one another, their courage in their relationships. It's something I have yet to nail on the head with a man, Larry.
On a French Interview:
“It's about the purity of my friendships with my gay friends. And how I’ve been unable to find that with a straight man in my life.
"It’s a celebration and an admiration of gay love – it confesses my envy of the courage and bravery they require to be together. In the video I’m pining for the love of my gay friends – but they just don’t want me.”
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Glee Finale
Glee finale? Eh.
It's okay. My favorite part was the Journey Medley. Bohemian Rhapsody was good too, but mostly because Jesse St. James was in it and he was incredible. I don't care how much of a jerk he is, he's still gorgeous and a great performer.
I also liked how Quinn had her baby right as regionals happened, but it's not realistic. First off... a woman about to have a baby would not be singing and dancing all over the place... particularly for an event as stressful as a show choir regional competition. The child that was supposed to be a newly born infant looked too old.
But there were definitely some good things. I liked it that they didn't place at regionals. Although it wasn't a perfect ending, it left us with something more to look forward to next season. And there's always the strange change of heart that Sue had at the end.
Josh Groban was a great cameo as well.... although not as good as I expected.
It's okay. My favorite part was the Journey Medley. Bohemian Rhapsody was good too, but mostly because Jesse St. James was in it and he was incredible. I don't care how much of a jerk he is, he's still gorgeous and a great performer.
I also liked how Quinn had her baby right as regionals happened, but it's not realistic. First off... a woman about to have a baby would not be singing and dancing all over the place... particularly for an event as stressful as a show choir regional competition. The child that was supposed to be a newly born infant looked too old.
But there were definitely some good things. I liked it that they didn't place at regionals. Although it wasn't a perfect ending, it left us with something more to look forward to next season. And there's always the strange change of heart that Sue had at the end.
Josh Groban was a great cameo as well.... although not as good as I expected.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Some things I've learned about night clubs:
1. being mormon automatically makes you stick out in a crowd. I was the only girl wearing a t-shirt and jeans in the whole place. All the other girls wore itty bitty shorts and skimpy tops. My friend Ingrid wasn't bad, at all, though. She just wore a cute little dress... but even SHE stuck out. At clubs, there is obviously an unwritten dress code. Guys wear collared shirts, girls wear sleeveless tops. Guys wear jeans... girls wear almost nothing.
I rocked a hat that everyone said looked like a cowboy hat even though it was a stinking fedora. Made me mad. I also wore some sunglasses from time to time because for some reason I gain confidence knowing that people can't see my eyes that well. But of course it was already dark in that room so wearing glasses just made things go darker. So I eventually took them off.
2. I can't dance. Not even in the least. Nothing at all like those girls who stood up on a platform in the middle of the room did. They were hardly wearing anything at all, mostly. Fishnets, bras, and underwear. I marvel at how comfortable they are with their own bodies. Even if I didn't have the limits I had, I would NEVER feel brave enough to dance like that in so little clothing. How awkward that must feel.
3. I want smoke and lazers. Bad.
4. Boys at clubs are weird. They stand there and stare but they hardly talk or make moves or anything. Girls, on the other hand, are usually all over the place. I saw more drunk women than drunk men... or maybe I saw plenty of drunk men but drunk men aren't so obvious about it. I don't know... it just seems like women feel they have to do more to get attention these days in this society... they have to dress up more, wear more makeup and do their hair, act like idiots, wear ridiculous shoes, dance all weird. Guys just have to stand there and they look cute without even trying. It's not fair.
5. My favorite part about clubs: The music. I love a pounding bass and a bunch of people dancing to a uniting beat. It's wonderful! So yeah.. highlight of the evening was the music.
That's about all.
Dream:
Yeah... it's technically Friday, isn't it?
So I dreamt that Jacob invited me to his mission farewell but when I got there it was just my grandma's blue shower. That was where he gave me this checklist of things to do before he returned from his mission. One was to lose 20 pounds (I sort of freaked out at him when I read that) and another was to read D&C 44:15. After I woke up, I looked up D&C 44:15.. Doesn't exist. But there IS a 1-5. I read it, and it was alll about missionary work! REally... like to a tee. It was creepy.
So yeah. I can't wait to tell Jacob about this one if he ever finds some time to write me back.
I rocked a hat that everyone said looked like a cowboy hat even though it was a stinking fedora. Made me mad. I also wore some sunglasses from time to time because for some reason I gain confidence knowing that people can't see my eyes that well. But of course it was already dark in that room so wearing glasses just made things go darker. So I eventually took them off.
2. I can't dance. Not even in the least. Nothing at all like those girls who stood up on a platform in the middle of the room did. They were hardly wearing anything at all, mostly. Fishnets, bras, and underwear. I marvel at how comfortable they are with their own bodies. Even if I didn't have the limits I had, I would NEVER feel brave enough to dance like that in so little clothing. How awkward that must feel.
3. I want smoke and lazers. Bad.
4. Boys at clubs are weird. They stand there and stare but they hardly talk or make moves or anything. Girls, on the other hand, are usually all over the place. I saw more drunk women than drunk men... or maybe I saw plenty of drunk men but drunk men aren't so obvious about it. I don't know... it just seems like women feel they have to do more to get attention these days in this society... they have to dress up more, wear more makeup and do their hair, act like idiots, wear ridiculous shoes, dance all weird. Guys just have to stand there and they look cute without even trying. It's not fair.
5. My favorite part about clubs: The music. I love a pounding bass and a bunch of people dancing to a uniting beat. It's wonderful! So yeah.. highlight of the evening was the music.
That's about all.
Dream:
Yeah... it's technically Friday, isn't it?
So I dreamt that Jacob invited me to his mission farewell but when I got there it was just my grandma's blue shower. That was where he gave me this checklist of things to do before he returned from his mission. One was to lose 20 pounds (I sort of freaked out at him when I read that) and another was to read D&C 44:15. After I woke up, I looked up D&C 44:15.. Doesn't exist. But there IS a 1-5. I read it, and it was alll about missionary work! REally... like to a tee. It was creepy.
So yeah. I can't wait to tell Jacob about this one if he ever finds some time to write me back.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
WORK WOES.
SSSSSOOOO
Work is annoying. I like some of it but I absolutely HATE other parts of it and I really think the HATE is overpowering the like.
First off, I STILL don't feel comfortable asking questions or getting help even when I really need it because the CSMs are always too busy for you and you always feel like you're intruding. Today I got a call from Cub about an hour before I thought my shift started. Turned out they thought I needed to be there a half an hour earlier. That WAS NOT MY FAULT. I was told to come at 4:30. Not 3. So even though I had NOTHING TO WORRY about, I still felt like they were mad at me. Like I was irresponsible or something. I am NOT irresponsible. Not in the least. Yesterday the CSMs were so nice and they answered my questions and helped me out and went above and beyond and told me I was okay and I needed to take deep breaths. TODAY the CSMs hardly even helped me. Instead they lectured me in this matter-of-fact tone that made me feel so dumb in front of the customers.
Speaking of customers: I love them. They make the work fun. If it weren't for them, I'd be in a living hell at work. I feel like I'm putting on a show for every new shopper that comes by and that makes me feel good. They all seem to like me.
There's this guy: Tony is his name. I've seen him working at Cub for a loooooong time and today he was working at the register next to mine. He would watch me do my work all the time and laugh at me. When I give him a quizzical look about it, he says "You really like this job, doncha?" and I say sort of, why?
"Well you're just so... soo... and then he sort of waves his arms and jumps up and down. Do I really look that hyper when I work? Tony annoys me because he's such a know-it-all and he thinks he knows me SOOO well because he's seen me around at school so much. But at the same time I'm thankful he's there because he at least knows what he's doing and I feel comfortable enough around him to ask him what to do when I don't know a thing. He LOOOVES answering questions. I loves knowing answers. He loves showing people he knows answers.
Part of me wonders if he's flirting with me... but I ask that about pretty much every interaction I have with a male. Part of me again wonders if I'm flirting with him. Probably. Does it mean anything? No.
Let's see... anything more to say about how ridiculous work is?
Pech! Glad I have one (1) day off before my 4-day-long streak.
My goal for my next work period: Figure out how to call for shopback for perishable items. Also, don't forget to give receipts. I always forgot this time around.
Things that went on today: Work work work. Lot's of it. Til 11:30.
Listening to : 3 AM acoustic version by Matchbox Twenty sung by the music angel Rob Thomas.
Work is annoying. I like some of it but I absolutely HATE other parts of it and I really think the HATE is overpowering the like.
First off, I STILL don't feel comfortable asking questions or getting help even when I really need it because the CSMs are always too busy for you and you always feel like you're intruding. Today I got a call from Cub about an hour before I thought my shift started. Turned out they thought I needed to be there a half an hour earlier. That WAS NOT MY FAULT. I was told to come at 4:30. Not 3. So even though I had NOTHING TO WORRY about, I still felt like they were mad at me. Like I was irresponsible or something. I am NOT irresponsible. Not in the least. Yesterday the CSMs were so nice and they answered my questions and helped me out and went above and beyond and told me I was okay and I needed to take deep breaths. TODAY the CSMs hardly even helped me. Instead they lectured me in this matter-of-fact tone that made me feel so dumb in front of the customers.
Speaking of customers: I love them. They make the work fun. If it weren't for them, I'd be in a living hell at work. I feel like I'm putting on a show for every new shopper that comes by and that makes me feel good. They all seem to like me.
There's this guy: Tony is his name. I've seen him working at Cub for a loooooong time and today he was working at the register next to mine. He would watch me do my work all the time and laugh at me. When I give him a quizzical look about it, he says "You really like this job, doncha?" and I say sort of, why?
"Well you're just so... soo... and then he sort of waves his arms and jumps up and down. Do I really look that hyper when I work? Tony annoys me because he's such a know-it-all and he thinks he knows me SOOO well because he's seen me around at school so much. But at the same time I'm thankful he's there because he at least knows what he's doing and I feel comfortable enough around him to ask him what to do when I don't know a thing. He LOOOVES answering questions. I loves knowing answers. He loves showing people he knows answers.
Part of me wonders if he's flirting with me... but I ask that about pretty much every interaction I have with a male. Part of me again wonders if I'm flirting with him. Probably. Does it mean anything? No.
Let's see... anything more to say about how ridiculous work is?
Pech! Glad I have one (1) day off before my 4-day-long streak.
My goal for my next work period: Figure out how to call for shopback for perishable items. Also, don't forget to give receipts. I always forgot this time around.
Things that went on today: Work work work. Lot's of it. Til 11:30.
Listening to : 3 AM acoustic version by Matchbox Twenty sung by the music angel Rob Thomas.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Friday Dream: Surreal and Spooky
I had a dream a few nights ago that was quite shocking for me. It was deadpan. No melodrama, no color, no nothing. Very dry and blunt.
All I remember is chasing after someone who was going to commit suicide. I don't remember who the person was, but I remember the love and worry and pain I felt over that person. He(or she) had gone insane, was looking for a gun. I wanted to stop him(her).
So I'm running. Past the duck pond and then into this huge desert. Like in a western film. There I stand, as the person I love goes to a shed, finds a gun, and points it at me. Suddenly my mom is behind me and he shoots her hard in the chest. She's not dead, but she's on the ground, screaming. "JUST DO IT!" she said, wanting to escape the pain in the only way she could think of. So he(she) did. Shot her in the back, and she was dead.
Then he(she) shot himself, and I watched.
It was a very scary dream. No background noise, just gun shots and screaming. No filter at all. I woke up very afraid.
But I knew it was all just a dream so I am fine now.
Listening to: Lady Gaga interviews
Things going on today: Ugh. Work.
All I remember is chasing after someone who was going to commit suicide. I don't remember who the person was, but I remember the love and worry and pain I felt over that person. He(or she) had gone insane, was looking for a gun. I wanted to stop him(her).
So I'm running. Past the duck pond and then into this huge desert. Like in a western film. There I stand, as the person I love goes to a shed, finds a gun, and points it at me. Suddenly my mom is behind me and he shoots her hard in the chest. She's not dead, but she's on the ground, screaming. "JUST DO IT!" she said, wanting to escape the pain in the only way she could think of. So he(she) did. Shot her in the back, and she was dead.
Then he(she) shot himself, and I watched.
It was a very scary dream. No background noise, just gun shots and screaming. No filter at all. I woke up very afraid.
But I knew it was all just a dream so I am fine now.
Listening to: Lady Gaga interviews
Things going on today: Ugh. Work.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Glee: Theatricality
So I've already said my whole bit about the "moral concept" of this episode on my other, more personal blog so this one's gonna be all about the GAGA.
First of all, I'd just like to say that it would be SO COOL if they could have an entire episode devoted to Lady Gaga like they did with Madonna, but of course they couldn't do that because Madonna and Lady Gaga are so much alike, and Gaga really hasn't hit enough meaningful numbers to make for a full episode about her. Maybe in a few decades, once we know whether or not she's gonna last. Then we'll talk about it. Moving on....
So the version of "Bad Romance" was MUCH more fun to listen to when it was accompanied with fun costumes and dancing. But I thought the whole song was HILARIOUS, rather than captivating or impressive. The dances, the poses, it was all so GAGA but for some reason the kids looked more ridiculous doing it. It was an intentional parody to Gaga, making the whole thing legitimate! But the song itself WASvery well arranged and put together. It kept true to the original, even though it was sung by a chorus of supposed high school kids. Of course, the original is definitely better.
Pokerface? That's another story...
First off, WHY POKERFACE? What kind of a mother-daughter bonding song is Pokerface?? It's about thinking about women while sleeping with a man? BLUFFIN WITH MY MUFFIN???? I would NEVER sing that song with my mom, no matter HOW good the arrangement is or HOW good of singers we are. Some things are just not done!
So, that's problem number one. Poor venue for the song. Poor song choice for the venue. It's one or the other, sweethearts...
Second off, while Idina Menzel and whoever-the-heck-the-girl-who-plays-Rachel-is are GREAT singers (fantastic!), the song just isn't as effective unless you got the pretentious Lady Gaga at a piano in a bubble outfit. I would rather have seen the full album version sung by all the kids than an intimate acoustic version that lacked attitude and pizzazz. It just didn't make any sense. No sense whatsoever. As a matter of fact, even when Lady Gaga sings it acoustic, the song still doesn't make sense. But at least you got Gaga there to distract you from the utter ridiculousness of the song. Sorry, Glee, I love your enthusiasm and your willingness to put this out there, but it just didn't work. Gaga is just not replaceable. You can make fun of her, but you can't replace her.
First of all, I'd just like to say that it would be SO COOL if they could have an entire episode devoted to Lady Gaga like they did with Madonna, but of course they couldn't do that because Madonna and Lady Gaga are so much alike, and Gaga really hasn't hit enough meaningful numbers to make for a full episode about her. Maybe in a few decades, once we know whether or not she's gonna last. Then we'll talk about it. Moving on....
So the version of "Bad Romance" was MUCH more fun to listen to when it was accompanied with fun costumes and dancing. But I thought the whole song was HILARIOUS, rather than captivating or impressive. The dances, the poses, it was all so GAGA but for some reason the kids looked more ridiculous doing it. It was an intentional parody to Gaga, making the whole thing legitimate! But the song itself WASvery well arranged and put together. It kept true to the original, even though it was sung by a chorus of supposed high school kids. Of course, the original is definitely better.
Pokerface? That's another story...
First off, WHY POKERFACE? What kind of a mother-daughter bonding song is Pokerface?? It's about thinking about women while sleeping with a man? BLUFFIN WITH MY MUFFIN???? I would NEVER sing that song with my mom, no matter HOW good the arrangement is or HOW good of singers we are. Some things are just not done!
So, that's problem number one. Poor venue for the song. Poor song choice for the venue. It's one or the other, sweethearts...
Second off, while Idina Menzel and whoever-the-heck-the-girl-who-plays-Rachel-is are GREAT singers (fantastic!), the song just isn't as effective unless you got the pretentious Lady Gaga at a piano in a bubble outfit. I would rather have seen the full album version sung by all the kids than an intimate acoustic version that lacked attitude and pizzazz. It just didn't make any sense. No sense whatsoever. As a matter of fact, even when Lady Gaga sings it acoustic, the song still doesn't make sense. But at least you got Gaga there to distract you from the utter ridiculousness of the song. Sorry, Glee, I love your enthusiasm and your willingness to put this out there, but it just didn't work. Gaga is just not replaceable. You can make fun of her, but you can't replace her.
My Beef about the Recent Glee Episode
Okay so this MIGHT be breaking a few rules I've set out for myself concerning this blog and what I share on it. I'm not supposed to review media on this site. It's supposed to be about my life and what goes on in it, not other peoples lives (real or fictional).
BUT I have a great deal to say about a certain scene in last Tuesday's GLEE episode. I'll transcribe it for you first.
Kurt's father, Burt, and Finn's mother have been dating for some time and have finally decided to move in together, bringing their sons along with them. Kurt is gay, and has had a secret crush on Finn for months. Much to Finn's dislike, the rest of the "family" has decided to put the two boys together in the same room. Kurt has been working on designing a reasonable living space that could cater to both their tastes.
(Kurt and Finn walk down a flight of stairs into their new room.)
Kurt: (wearing a tux) I had to skip school to finish it but I think you're really going to like it.
(Kurt flips a light switch to reveal a room filled with gaudy furniture, lavish curtains, and mood candle lighting. Everything is red and gold. As Finn looks at the scene before him, his face falls. Kurt gives a sigh of pride)
Kurt: Consider it a peace offering after all the yelling we've been doing. I used Marlene Dietrich and Gary Cooper and Morocco as my inspiration. It's a perfect blend of the masculine and the feminine and the muted and the theatrical.
(As Kurt explains, Finn wanders around the room, dumbstruck. He finally finds words)
Finn: Are you freaking insane? I can't live here, I'm a dude. What the hell is that s'posed to be?
Kurt: It's a privacy partition... It's the only one I could find on such short notice. Why are you getting angry about everything? I worked hard on this.
Finn: That's not a privacy partition! Why is it so hard for you to understand? I don't wanna get dressed in front of you. You know that I put my underwear on in the shower before I come out when you're around? I just... I don't wanna have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man...
Kurt: And what "stuff" are you referring to?--
Finn: (interrupting) You know. You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb. Why can't you just accept that I'm not like you?
Kurt: I have accepted that --
Finn: No, you haven't. You think I don't see the way you stare at me? How flirty you get? You think I don't know why you got so excited that we were gonna be moving in together?
Kurt: It's just a room, Finn! We can re-decorate it if you want to!
Finn: (losing his temper) Okay. Good. Well then, the first thing that needs to go is that FAGGY lamp! And then we need to get rid of this FAGGY couch blanket --
(Kurt's Father enters)
Kurt's Father: HEY! What did you just call him?
Finn: Oh, n-no I didn't call him anything I was just.. talking to the blanket --
Kurt's Father: But when used that word, you're talking about him.
Kurt: Relax, Dad, I didn't take it that way!
Kurt's Father: Yeah, that's because you're sixteen and you still assume the best in people. You live a few years, and you start seeing the hate in people's hearts. Even the best people. You use the n-word?
Finn: (quickly) Of course not!
Kurt's Father: Yeah, how about "retard"? You call that nice girl on the Cheerios with Kurt, you call her a retard?
Finn: I can't -- n-no, she's my friend, she's got... down syndrome! I'd never call her that, that's cruel --
Burt: But you think it's okay to come into my house, and say "faggy"?
Finn: B-but that's not what I meant! --
(Kurt begins to cry)
Burt: I KNOW what you meant! What, you think I didn't use that word when I was your age? You know, some... some kid gets clocked in practice, we tell him to "stop being such a fagg. Shake it off!" We meant it exactly the way you meant it. That being gay is wrong, that it's some kind of punishable offense. I really thought you were different, Finn. You know, I thought that being in Glee Club, and being raised by your mom... tha--that you were some "new generation" of dude who saw things differently, who just kinda came into the world knowing what has taken me years of struggling to figure out. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry, Finn, but you can't... you can't stay here.
Kurt: Dad...
Burt: I love your mom, and maybe this is gonna cost me her. But my family comes first. I can't have that kind of poison around. (to Kurt) This is our home, Kurt. (to Finn) He is my son. Out in the world, you do what you want. Not under my roof.
(Finn exits, ashamed. Kurt and his father look at each other with tears in their eyes.)
Burt: The place looks great. (He then reaches out, puts his hand on Kurt's shoulder as he walks past him. Kurt touches his father's hand before Burt lets go and walks up the stairs after Finn.
(Later, in Glee Club, Kurt and Tina are in their GAGA outfits.)
Kurt: (to Tina) You look like you should be in orbit.
Tina: (repositioning the bubbles on her dress) My balls keep falling off.
Kurt: Yeah, I've been there. (looks menacingly over at Finn)
Finn: (whispering) I want to talk about this!
Kurt: (also whispering) There's not much to say. I feel sorry for you. I thought you were different.
Finn: I am different.
(The next day, Kurt is about to get beat up by some jock bullies...)
Kurt: (thrown against a wall, melodramatically) Fine. You wanna hit me? You wanna beat me up? Go ahead! But I swear to you, I will never change. I'm proud to be different. It's the best thing about me. So go ahead, hit me!
Bully 1: I believe I will. (to second bullky) Sir, would you like to go first?
(a voice comes from behind. It's Finn, dressed in a Lady Gaga-esque full gown.)
Finn: You're not hitting anyone.
Kurt: Oh my God...
Bully 1: Is he wearing a red rubber dress, or am I trippin?
Finn: I wanna thank you, Kurt. I realize I still have lot to learn, but the reason I'm here right now.. in a shower curtain.. is because of you. And I'm not gonna let anyone lay a hand on you.
Bully 2: Oh, really, dude? Cuz I'm pretty sure we can take both of you.
(the entire Glee Club shows up behing Finn, wearing their Gaga and Kiss outfits)
Puck: Yeah. But can you take ALL of us?
Bully 1: Okay.... okay, yeah, I get it. I took biology. You know what, Karowski? We done disturb the freak hive. The worker freaks is trying to protect the queen freak.
Bully 2: Next time, we'll bring some friends, too. (the bullies exit)
Rachel: I'm tired of everyone calling us freaks.
Mercedes: Well, look at us, we are freaks!
Finn: But we're all freaks together, and we shouldn't have to hide it.
Okkay....
There is something VERY wrong here.
COME ON! What kind of parents put their children together if one of them -- or even both! -- is attracted to the other? If Kurt were a girl, I'm sure they would NEVER be okay with having them live together. Even if Kurt DIDN'T have a "crush" on Finn, I'm sure Finn would definitely feel uncomfortable sharing a private space with someone who even views him and his body that way at all! I can't imagine how I would feel sharing a room with a lesbian. Being friends is one thing, but sharing a room crosses some comfort boundaries.
So where was the good parental judgement, here? What about Finn's mom? Wouldn't she be at all concerned for Finn's feelings on the issue? I am surprised they even allowed this living setup at all. Finn even tried to explain his feelings earlier in the episode, but both parents just threw it off!
Problem number two: Kurt has been inappropriately pushing Finn to change his lifestyle and ideals to fit his own. Kurt is a diva. He's misunderstood, yes, but not innocent. He has only really been thinking about his needs and desires (which is often how lust works). If Kurt truly cared about Finn, he would let Finn be himself, regardless of the losses Kurt would then suffer.
Furthermore, trying to manipulate their parents is the wrong way for Kurt to approach this issue. Obviously Finn and his mom have had a hard time, losing the man of their house. And then there's Kurt's own father! How much pain has he been through? It's not a game, Kurt! You're not dealing with just YOU anymore. Now you're involving others... your own family, even! Playing with these strong feelings is not only wrong, it can come back to bite you. Finn's anger and confusion at the situation Kurt intentionally threw on him would have to be difficult... so it's no surprise he lost his temper and said some things he shouldn't. Once again... is anyone thinking of poor Finn's feelings?? Kurt has also hurt his father. Burt loved Finn's mom. While it was Kurt's selfishness that brought them together, it was also Kurt's selfishness that may now tear them apart. I wonder if Kurt foresaw this at all. I believe he began to realize it when his father came downstairs.
So Kurt, back off. Quit tampering with others' lives. Quit focusing on yourself. Sometimes people who are different begin to feel this sense of entitlement which then leads them to hurt others. Kurt is a victim of this.
The main problem I see in this story is the lack of judgement shown by Kurt's Father. Granted, this is a very close topic for him. He has had threatening phone calls about his son's sexuality for some time, now, and he has promised to protect his son in any way he can.
BUT he still does not know the full issue. He is unaware of Kurt's feelings for Finn. Finn's uncomfort, the context of his anger, it's all so very important to understanding such an episode! Burt hardly let Finn talk! Instead of trying to understand, he just assumed he already understood and then proceeded to make Finn feel guilty. Poor, poor Finn. He has a legitimate problem, a legitimate concern, tries to be polite, tries to make it work. When he finds out it doesn't, he's forced to believe it is all his fault. I was VERY worried that Finn would decide to "come out" at the end of the episode -- all because he felt guilty. Now, I don't think that was what happened (thank goodness), but he had definitely made a change in his attitude. The change could be seen as a positive one, but it was made out of nothing but guilt. How many of us have been manipulated that way? I know I have -- even on this exact issue! People I talk to about gay rights always try to make me look like a "homophobe" who is intolerant and hateful. That is NOT TRUE. It is possible to love everyone, while still accepting that a person has made wrong decisions. There are some who ARE filled with hate: who say things like "fagg" without thinking, who DO think being gay is a punishable offense, but NOT EVERYONE. Most -- like me -- just see it as a difference in morals and are willing to move on. It's like the chicken and the egg. Some believe it's one way, others believe it's another. No one can prove the other is right, so why worry about it?
And this doesn't have to be a "gay" issue, either. Kurt's dad is a prime example of how people all the time assume that people are prejudiced when really the issue is somewhere completely different (You know what I mean. "It's cuz I'm black, isn't it?"). In this case, Finn wasn't really trying to combat Kurt's sexuality. I'm sure he was fine with Kurt being the way he was. He just didn't want to have to deal all of it at such an intimate level. Most people have to deal with that every day of their lives. This was Finn's own home, his own room, his own private life; he wanted to feel comfortable there. Being thrown in a room with a prima donna was not his cup of tea. It's like dealing with a bad roommate, or even an annoying sibling. Both Finn and Kurt's father understood that the issue WASN'T about the room: Finn recognized it was about the relationship, but Burt was too caught up in "morals" to see the real big picture -- the REAL relationship. It's not about being GAY. It's about simply being DIFFERENT from one another. I hate the color pink. My sister loves it. It's freaking annoying! And I have a right to say so!
Finn's not perfect either. It was very unwise to lose his temper on Kurt like that. He wasn't really thinking of Kurt's feelings, either. OBVIOUSLY calling Kurt's hard work "faggy" was NOT SMART and NOT NICE. Finn doesn't quite have a grip on words, yet, I think. He's still too much of a dunce to understand what is appropriate and what is not. But does he REALLY think being gay is wrong? Never before has Finn given us that impression! Kurt was very kind and understood this at first, ("I didn't take it that way!") but he didn't stay that way. Nope. He listened to his jaded father and joined him in putting Finn on the guilt trip ("I thought you were different!") without truly understanding Finn's feelings and beliefs. Pride strikes again.
I've said quite a bit, and not a lot of it made perfect sense, but my point is that this episode of Glee was a little bit one-sided in its reasoning. Obviously, what the producers wanted us to take away from this episode was that we should not judge people. Everyone's got baggage. Kurt and Burt both have to deal with the torments and prejudices that come with being different. Finn has to deal with living with the discomforts, confusions, and pressures of trying to find an identity. Not everyone's right, and not everyone is wrong. So we should not jump to any conclusions or make any judgements without seeing every side and taking the time to fully understand each other. I get it. But I think the show focused a little too much on how FINN needed to learn that lesson, while Kurt's family also needs to learn it.
Perchance we simply need to wait for another episode to shed some light from a different angle... I'm sure the story's not over yet.
That's all for now!
Thanks for reading.
BUT I have a great deal to say about a certain scene in last Tuesday's GLEE episode. I'll transcribe it for you first.
Kurt's father, Burt, and Finn's mother have been dating for some time and have finally decided to move in together, bringing their sons along with them. Kurt is gay, and has had a secret crush on Finn for months. Much to Finn's dislike, the rest of the "family" has decided to put the two boys together in the same room. Kurt has been working on designing a reasonable living space that could cater to both their tastes.
(Kurt and Finn walk down a flight of stairs into their new room.)
Kurt: (wearing a tux) I had to skip school to finish it but I think you're really going to like it.
(Kurt flips a light switch to reveal a room filled with gaudy furniture, lavish curtains, and mood candle lighting. Everything is red and gold. As Finn looks at the scene before him, his face falls. Kurt gives a sigh of pride)
Kurt: Consider it a peace offering after all the yelling we've been doing. I used Marlene Dietrich and Gary Cooper and Morocco as my inspiration. It's a perfect blend of the masculine and the feminine and the muted and the theatrical.
(As Kurt explains, Finn wanders around the room, dumbstruck. He finally finds words)
Finn: Are you freaking insane? I can't live here, I'm a dude. What the hell is that s'posed to be?
Kurt: It's a privacy partition... It's the only one I could find on such short notice. Why are you getting angry about everything? I worked hard on this.
Finn: That's not a privacy partition! Why is it so hard for you to understand? I don't wanna get dressed in front of you. You know that I put my underwear on in the shower before I come out when you're around? I just... I don't wanna have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man...
Kurt: And what "stuff" are you referring to?--
Finn: (interrupting) You know. You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb. Why can't you just accept that I'm not like you?
Kurt: I have accepted that --
Finn: No, you haven't. You think I don't see the way you stare at me? How flirty you get? You think I don't know why you got so excited that we were gonna be moving in together?
Kurt: It's just a room, Finn! We can re-decorate it if you want to!
Finn: (losing his temper) Okay. Good. Well then, the first thing that needs to go is that FAGGY lamp! And then we need to get rid of this FAGGY couch blanket --
(Kurt's Father enters)
Kurt's Father: HEY! What did you just call him?
Finn: Oh, n-no I didn't call him anything I was just.. talking to the blanket --
Kurt's Father: But when used that word, you're talking about him.
Kurt: Relax, Dad, I didn't take it that way!
Kurt's Father: Yeah, that's because you're sixteen and you still assume the best in people. You live a few years, and you start seeing the hate in people's hearts. Even the best people. You use the n-word?
Finn: (quickly) Of course not!
Kurt's Father: Yeah, how about "retard"? You call that nice girl on the Cheerios with Kurt, you call her a retard?
Finn: I can't -- n-no, she's my friend, she's got... down syndrome! I'd never call her that, that's cruel --
Burt: But you think it's okay to come into my house, and say "faggy"?
Finn: B-but that's not what I meant! --
(Kurt begins to cry)
Burt: I KNOW what you meant! What, you think I didn't use that word when I was your age? You know, some... some kid gets clocked in practice, we tell him to "stop being such a fagg. Shake it off!" We meant it exactly the way you meant it. That being gay is wrong, that it's some kind of punishable offense. I really thought you were different, Finn. You know, I thought that being in Glee Club, and being raised by your mom... tha--that you were some "new generation" of dude who saw things differently, who just kinda came into the world knowing what has taken me years of struggling to figure out. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry, Finn, but you can't... you can't stay here.
Kurt: Dad...
Burt: I love your mom, and maybe this is gonna cost me her. But my family comes first. I can't have that kind of poison around. (to Kurt) This is our home, Kurt. (to Finn) He is my son. Out in the world, you do what you want. Not under my roof.
(Finn exits, ashamed. Kurt and his father look at each other with tears in their eyes.)
Burt: The place looks great. (He then reaches out, puts his hand on Kurt's shoulder as he walks past him. Kurt touches his father's hand before Burt lets go and walks up the stairs after Finn.
(Later, in Glee Club, Kurt and Tina are in their GAGA outfits.)
Kurt: (to Tina) You look like you should be in orbit.
Tina: (repositioning the bubbles on her dress) My balls keep falling off.
Kurt: Yeah, I've been there. (looks menacingly over at Finn)
Finn: (whispering) I want to talk about this!
Kurt: (also whispering) There's not much to say. I feel sorry for you. I thought you were different.
Finn: I am different.
(The next day, Kurt is about to get beat up by some jock bullies...)
Kurt: (thrown against a wall, melodramatically) Fine. You wanna hit me? You wanna beat me up? Go ahead! But I swear to you, I will never change. I'm proud to be different. It's the best thing about me. So go ahead, hit me!
Bully 1: I believe I will. (to second bullky) Sir, would you like to go first?
(a voice comes from behind. It's Finn, dressed in a Lady Gaga-esque full gown.)
Finn: You're not hitting anyone.
Kurt: Oh my God...
Bully 1: Is he wearing a red rubber dress, or am I trippin?
Finn: I wanna thank you, Kurt. I realize I still have lot to learn, but the reason I'm here right now.. in a shower curtain.. is because of you. And I'm not gonna let anyone lay a hand on you.
Bully 2: Oh, really, dude? Cuz I'm pretty sure we can take both of you.
(the entire Glee Club shows up behing Finn, wearing their Gaga and Kiss outfits)
Puck: Yeah. But can you take ALL of us?
Bully 1: Okay.... okay, yeah, I get it. I took biology. You know what, Karowski? We done disturb the freak hive. The worker freaks is trying to protect the queen freak.
Bully 2: Next time, we'll bring some friends, too. (the bullies exit)
Rachel: I'm tired of everyone calling us freaks.
Mercedes: Well, look at us, we are freaks!
Finn: But we're all freaks together, and we shouldn't have to hide it.
Okkay....
There is something VERY wrong here.
COME ON! What kind of parents put their children together if one of them -- or even both! -- is attracted to the other? If Kurt were a girl, I'm sure they would NEVER be okay with having them live together. Even if Kurt DIDN'T have a "crush" on Finn, I'm sure Finn would definitely feel uncomfortable sharing a private space with someone who even views him and his body that way at all! I can't imagine how I would feel sharing a room with a lesbian. Being friends is one thing, but sharing a room crosses some comfort boundaries.
So where was the good parental judgement, here? What about Finn's mom? Wouldn't she be at all concerned for Finn's feelings on the issue? I am surprised they even allowed this living setup at all. Finn even tried to explain his feelings earlier in the episode, but both parents just threw it off!
Problem number two: Kurt has been inappropriately pushing Finn to change his lifestyle and ideals to fit his own. Kurt is a diva. He's misunderstood, yes, but not innocent. He has only really been thinking about his needs and desires (which is often how lust works). If Kurt truly cared about Finn, he would let Finn be himself, regardless of the losses Kurt would then suffer.
Furthermore, trying to manipulate their parents is the wrong way for Kurt to approach this issue. Obviously Finn and his mom have had a hard time, losing the man of their house. And then there's Kurt's own father! How much pain has he been through? It's not a game, Kurt! You're not dealing with just YOU anymore. Now you're involving others... your own family, even! Playing with these strong feelings is not only wrong, it can come back to bite you. Finn's anger and confusion at the situation Kurt intentionally threw on him would have to be difficult... so it's no surprise he lost his temper and said some things he shouldn't. Once again... is anyone thinking of poor Finn's feelings?? Kurt has also hurt his father. Burt loved Finn's mom. While it was Kurt's selfishness that brought them together, it was also Kurt's selfishness that may now tear them apart. I wonder if Kurt foresaw this at all. I believe he began to realize it when his father came downstairs.
So Kurt, back off. Quit tampering with others' lives. Quit focusing on yourself. Sometimes people who are different begin to feel this sense of entitlement which then leads them to hurt others. Kurt is a victim of this.
The main problem I see in this story is the lack of judgement shown by Kurt's Father. Granted, this is a very close topic for him. He has had threatening phone calls about his son's sexuality for some time, now, and he has promised to protect his son in any way he can.
BUT he still does not know the full issue. He is unaware of Kurt's feelings for Finn. Finn's uncomfort, the context of his anger, it's all so very important to understanding such an episode! Burt hardly let Finn talk! Instead of trying to understand, he just assumed he already understood and then proceeded to make Finn feel guilty. Poor, poor Finn. He has a legitimate problem, a legitimate concern, tries to be polite, tries to make it work. When he finds out it doesn't, he's forced to believe it is all his fault. I was VERY worried that Finn would decide to "come out" at the end of the episode -- all because he felt guilty. Now, I don't think that was what happened (thank goodness), but he had definitely made a change in his attitude. The change could be seen as a positive one, but it was made out of nothing but guilt. How many of us have been manipulated that way? I know I have -- even on this exact issue! People I talk to about gay rights always try to make me look like a "homophobe" who is intolerant and hateful. That is NOT TRUE. It is possible to love everyone, while still accepting that a person has made wrong decisions. There are some who ARE filled with hate: who say things like "fagg" without thinking, who DO think being gay is a punishable offense, but NOT EVERYONE. Most -- like me -- just see it as a difference in morals and are willing to move on. It's like the chicken and the egg. Some believe it's one way, others believe it's another. No one can prove the other is right, so why worry about it?
And this doesn't have to be a "gay" issue, either. Kurt's dad is a prime example of how people all the time assume that people are prejudiced when really the issue is somewhere completely different (You know what I mean. "It's cuz I'm black, isn't it?"). In this case, Finn wasn't really trying to combat Kurt's sexuality. I'm sure he was fine with Kurt being the way he was. He just didn't want to have to deal all of it at such an intimate level. Most people have to deal with that every day of their lives. This was Finn's own home, his own room, his own private life; he wanted to feel comfortable there. Being thrown in a room with a prima donna was not his cup of tea. It's like dealing with a bad roommate, or even an annoying sibling. Both Finn and Kurt's father understood that the issue WASN'T about the room: Finn recognized it was about the relationship, but Burt was too caught up in "morals" to see the real big picture -- the REAL relationship. It's not about being GAY. It's about simply being DIFFERENT from one another. I hate the color pink. My sister loves it. It's freaking annoying! And I have a right to say so!
Finn's not perfect either. It was very unwise to lose his temper on Kurt like that. He wasn't really thinking of Kurt's feelings, either. OBVIOUSLY calling Kurt's hard work "faggy" was NOT SMART and NOT NICE. Finn doesn't quite have a grip on words, yet, I think. He's still too much of a dunce to understand what is appropriate and what is not. But does he REALLY think being gay is wrong? Never before has Finn given us that impression! Kurt was very kind and understood this at first, ("I didn't take it that way!") but he didn't stay that way. Nope. He listened to his jaded father and joined him in putting Finn on the guilt trip ("I thought you were different!") without truly understanding Finn's feelings and beliefs. Pride strikes again.
I've said quite a bit, and not a lot of it made perfect sense, but my point is that this episode of Glee was a little bit one-sided in its reasoning. Obviously, what the producers wanted us to take away from this episode was that we should not judge people. Everyone's got baggage. Kurt and Burt both have to deal with the torments and prejudices that come with being different. Finn has to deal with living with the discomforts, confusions, and pressures of trying to find an identity. Not everyone's right, and not everyone is wrong. So we should not jump to any conclusions or make any judgements without seeing every side and taking the time to fully understand each other. I get it. But I think the show focused a little too much on how FINN needed to learn that lesson, while Kurt's family also needs to learn it.
Perchance we simply need to wait for another episode to shed some light from a different angle... I'm sure the story's not over yet.
That's all for now!
Thanks for reading.
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