New Semester

Okay... new semester.
1. Physics. Boring. Going to hate it. We have to do a lot of computerized homework, and I don't like that. I'm a big fan of paper note-taking, listening to lectures, and actively discussing in class. Not a fan of testing myself through a screen that has no idea what I'm thinking.
2. Band, Choir, and Freestyle are pretty much the same.
3. CIS American Literature. I don't think I'm going to like my teacher... not compared to my comp teacher, who was very laid back and understanding. This guy seems tough... and hard to read. But the class itself seems very interesting. We read a lot of books and analyze them... lots of notes taken. Yay!! So yeah... Literature is still up in the air for me.
4. Economics. My teacher in this class seems pretty nice. And it seems like the class will challenge me enough. The only problem is I really miss my government class!! There's someone in that class *hint hint* that I really won't get to see very much now that I've moved out, and that makes me upset. Plus I got used to government. Very used to it.
5. The Athlete is in my Calculus class!! So excited!!! I have a few friends who know about my infatuation with him, and they almost planned it out so that we'd sit next to each other... They keep on dropping hints about it, though. And I get embarrassed. Plus I still get to keep the most amazing teacher ever for calculus. And it turns out that I got the highest final score in my class last semester. Which is absolutely great!! I almost thought my teacher was joking when he told me, but I really did get only three wrong.
So... even though I'm a little depressed about government, the Athlete and my high final grade in Calculus makes everything else worthwhile. Now I have something to look forward to every day!!!

Secret Garden Callbacks

Once again, it was me versus another girl who has the same name as me. She did very well, but my director said she had trouble showing emotion. I, on the other hand, showed too much, apparently. I am not too confident; it's better to aim low and get higher than aim high and end up getting shot down like a bird. It's not like this hasn't happened before, either. Memories of Camelot come to mind. At this point, my director has already promised me a spot in this show, and he's also said that it is likely for me to get a bigger part, but there's always my work schedule to consider, and once again, it's not like I've ever proven myself to be better than that other girl.
But other than that, callbacks went pretty well. I feel sorry for this one guy who was like bawling because he was sent home halfway through. Then his car broke down. poor thing.
I have a really good friend who might get martha. What's funny is that she and I are kind of depending on the other to not get a part. The other "helena" was also on the ticket for martha. If she gets lily, and I don't, then my friend gets martha... which would be a blessing for her. So I guess it's not a total loss if I don't get the part I want. Whatever. I don't want to think about it until the cast list comes up. I don't know when that's going to be...

Three-Day Weekend

So I found out yesterday that I am playing the part of Jessica in this Variety show my music teacher created. I have to sing a Britney Spears song, "Dear Diary." I don't quite know what to think about it. It's a pretty big honor to be given this role... but there were other songs/roles I wanted that I probably won't get now. I have to play an eighth-grade girl who's obsessed with boys and talks like a ditz... that's not me at all. But I guess that's what acting is. It's making yourself into someone else. It's not being someone else. It's becoming someone else. Like that person is you. I don't know. But still, I guess it's a pretty good deal for me.
Secret Garden auditions are tomorrow. I'm really excited. I talked to my director about my work schedule and such, and it turns out that he is really considering me for a big part this year. I hope it's Lily!!! She's not the main character, but a pretty important one with some really pretty songs. I'm very prepared for the audition. I guess I'll see what happens.
My parents are in Puerto Rico this week... which means I'm pretty much the rule of the roost around here for a time. Yeah, there's my grandma too, but she just sleeps all day. I'm in for a big week...

Finals...

Finals weren't bad at all this year.
Why? Well, I actually studied.
My experience this year with finals has taught me a few things:
1. Take notes. Lots of em. Even things you think you'll remember. Write as much as possible... particularly when your prof is giving a lecture about something. It's bound to be on tests...
2. Actually read your notes. Highlight the most important stuff. Then read through them again, except this time only the highlighted parts.
3.When studying for comprehensive finals, look for the big stuff. Major equations, main ideas, broad definitions.
4. Don't do facebook, talk to people, or anything when studying. Music should be playing quietly in the background. The television should be off. You need a place you can focus so things can sink in.
5. Cramming is helpful, but it's good to prepare early for this kind of stuff. A week before the final, start reading over stuff.
6. Finals are usually not as hard as they sound. You'll be surprised at how much your brain can recall.

Don't Ask.

You're not supposed to have any idea what this is about... deal with it.

I don't know what to think.
I'm shaking.
Why am I shaking?
I feel sick.
I am sick.
I think my mind is sick...
Pleasant...
Strange.
So, so strange...
My cheek feels something that's not there...
Golden
Please don't laugh
Because that's the one thing I wish you wouldn't do.
I can't think straight.
Can't fill in simple bubbles...
Caught offguard
By feelings
I shouldn't... couldn't...
feel.
But here I am welcoming them.
What's wrong with me?

I got a new Ipod for Christmas, and it is excellent. It's orange, but when I put a black sheath over it it looks really cool... sort of halloweeny. It's so thin. I'm surprised that something that tiny can hold two thousand songs... twice as much as my older, thicker ipod could hold. And the picture is so big, i can see the whole cd cover in it. It's very nice. My music just sounds that much cooler when it plays on this thing. And then I got a dock for it as well... subwoofer speakers with a remote that has a MUTE BUTTON!! yaya. that means no swear words. The dock's also got a cd player and plays the radio as well. the only thing it doesn't have is a tape deck, but that's fine. So yeah, those are my new toys for this christmas.

Thaddeus leaves on tuesday. he texted me at six thirty today to ask if I was back in town and if I wanted to go to ruby tuesdays. I couldn't because I have to work on this ridiculous government paper that I hate. ugh. But after I get some thoughts down, I'll close for the night and work on it tomorrow. yes. and then I'll double-check it monday before I turn it in. Noice.

I feel much more ready for school, for some reason, even though I still don't have orinoco done and i haven't written in my journal in a month and I have variety show, secret garden auditions, and work comin' up. yikes. but i'll muddle through, I guess.

This has been a ridiculously stupid post. But it was worth getting some thoughts down. Maybe I should be actually writing in my other journal.

Some Words of Wisdom from Neal A. Maxwell

For an English assignment, I had to read a religious book. My mom found for me this random book my grandma gave her called, "One More Strain of Praise." It was by a member of the quorum of the twelve, so I decided to give it a whirl. Turns out this book is pretty darn AMAZING. Maxwell has such a clever and intellectual writing style. He uses lots of poetry in his words and there are tons of great anecdotes he uses as well. And the content of the book -- the insight he gives about God and our role here as his children -- is also VERY inspiring. I've learned so much. So I thought I'd share with you some of the points that I found particularly eye opening. Some of these ideas are ones I have had all along, but haven't found a good way to express them in words. Maxwell does it for me with perfect conciseness. Read on...


- "Irony, the hard crust on the bread of adversity, can try both our faith and our patience."

- He stuns you by degrees --
Prepares your brittle Nature
For the Etherial Blow
By fainter Hammers -- further heard --
Then nearer -- Then so slow
Your Breath has time to straighten --
Your Brain -- to bubble Cool --
Deals -- One -- imperial -- Thunderbold --
That scalps your naked Soul --
-- Emily Dickinson, poem 315

- "How difficult it is to teach the natural man, who comprehends nothing more than that which he sees with the natural eye! ... Talk to him about angels, heavens, God, immortality, and eternal lives, and it is like sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal to his ears; it has no music to him; there is nothing in it that charms his senses, soothes his feelings, attracts his attention, or engages his affections, in the least."
-- Brigham Young

- 'For one thing, discernment is vital. The eminent historian Will Durant wrote of the human need for perspective and proportion in order "to know that the little things are little, and the big things big, before it is too late; we want to see things now as they will seem forever -- 'in the light of eternity.'"'

- "Therefore we should not let murmuring -- even clever murmuring -- undercut good cheer by our half-suppressed resentments or muttered complaints. We all remember in Fiddler on the Roof Tevye's verbal asides to God. Since the ultimate "Addressee" of some of our murmuring is clearly the Lord, as when the people complained against Moses, at least Tevye honestly acknowledged to Whom he addressed his complaints."

- "The Humanitarian theory wants simply to abolish Justice and substitute Mercy for it.... Mercy, detached from Justice, grows unmerciful. That is the important paradox. As there are plants which flourish only in mountain soil, so it appears that Mercy will flower only when it grows in the crannies of the rock of Justice: transplanted to the marshlands of mere Humanitarianism, it becomes a man-eating weed, all the more dnagerous because it is still called by the same name as the mountain variety."
-- C.S. Lewis

- "Moreover, if we love God with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength, this requires one's intellectual surrender to God, too. Alas, while still too few, there are still comparatively more knees bent in reverence to God than there are minds. Hence there are more people who partially keep the second commandment than truly keep the first. It is the first commandment that sets the high tone and the standards, enabling the second to be 'like unto' it. Otherwise, every man would walk in his own way and do his own thing, which might include some useful -- but sidebar -- service to his fellow mortals."

- "The Restoration, among other things, removes stumbling blocks and provides much additional truth concerning both the character of the Father and the nature of His plan for His children. Elder George Q. Cannon observed: 'There is in the plan of salvation, which God our heavenly Father has revealed, perfect love, mercy and justice, and every other attribute which pertains to the character of Deity are perfectly illustrated in the plan of salvation which he has revealed for man's guidance.' Nevertheless, Elder Cannon lamented, 'The difficulty today is, that the people do not believe that God is a being of this character.'"

- "Mercy, even so, is not naivete. Nor is it uncaring indulgence. Nor is mercy to be mistaken for today's standardless and indulgent tolerance. Divine mercy has its fixed divine standards intact.

- "In our time, as in Lot's of old, we are vexed by many things, including profane and filthy conversation. We hear intrusive things we wish we would not hear and which we must dismiss and deflect in order to give 'no heed.' Sometimes giving rebuke or actually leaving such company are clearly called for."

- "One important way, therefore, in which the Church is to be 'independent' involves distancing ourselves from the philosophies and persuasions of men, an d from the encompassing and enveloping ways of secular societies. Secularism recruits so easily, because so many mortals 'will not endure sound doctrine,' but come to prefer the easier and more fashionable 'commandments of men.' But, of course, the fashions of the world will pass away. It will be interesting to see, for instance, how long America can sustain an inspired and constraining Constitution, if more of the people it governs become persistently permissive. Will what is now the 'lesser part' reach a critical, negative mass?

- "It is not surprising that today's surrounding secularism has firmly partnered with relativism in an alliance of dalliance. Secularism sincerely practices what it preaches. Centuries ago there occurred an episode which parallels some of the secular trendiness in our own time. Opinion leaders back then proclaimed:
... there could be no atonement made for the sins of men, but ever man fared in this
life according to the management of the creature; therefore every man prospered
according to his genius, and that ever man conquered according to his strength; and whatsoever a man did was no crime.
And thus he did preach unto them, leading away the hearts of many, causing them
to lift up their heads in their wickedness, yea, leading away many women, and also men, to commit whoredoms -- telling them that when a man is dead, that was the end thereof. (Alma 30: 17-18)
Such is this ethical relativism at the end of its journey, and it is similar in each era! Nothing is really wrong. Therefore, it is all right to conquer and prosper by one's strength and genius as we witness and indulgent individualism instead of real brotherhood.
Strange, isn't it, how once people stop believing in God they want to start playing God. Or is it? In any case, some so misread their circumstances because they do not see 'things as they really are.'"
Illustrative of poor perspective of another type is the fact that, after jealously slaying Abel, Cain cried out in a pathetic outburst of self-deception, 'I am free,' but he was never less so! Like Pilate's trying to wash his hands in vain, and like Hitler's careful efforts to keep his name off certain Holocaust documents, so today many do not really want the consequences of what they want. But in God's inexorable ecology consequences do come, accompanied by severe individual accountability. Steep costs are levied on a declining people!"

- So there is a clear friction between agency and opposition, but it is a necessary friction, if we are to progress. Hence knowing the truth about divine standards and then choosing aright is essential to our growth and happiness and freedom, but we will feel the friction! Moreover, if things were in a 'compound in one,' we could not learn from our mortal experiences, because we would not experience the opposites. Furthermore, we could not be held accountable either, because no real and clear choices would be before us, given the 'compound' circumstance. Individuality would be inert!"

- "Brigham Young observed that 'there is no music in hell.' Doubtless a correct statement as to real music! But some contemporary sounds, masquerading as music, belong quite naturally to that grim place, where their presence would further entitle that awful place to be called hell!"

- Thus, given God's plan and agency's vital role in it, we must ever be on guard against today's trends and patterns, however carefully they are camouflaged, in which operative agency is severely diminished, such as when some seek to avoid or to deny personal accountability or to say there are really no fixed values. Ethical relativism can thereby lead to a type of a 'compound in one' by an undifferentiated life or simply by ruling out moral absolutes and thereby encouraging every man to walk in his own way.
There is a deep irony in the sameness of sinners who think they are individualistic. They have given away, at least temporarily, their agency and their capacity for joy, living life on a single plane; or, more descriptive still, some march like lemmings down the slope to the gulf of misery.
The ultimate consequences will be real and harsh, because
'that which breaketh a law, and abideth not by law, but seeketh to become a law unto itself, and willeth to abide in sin, and altogether abideth in sin, cannot be sanctified by law, neither by mercy, justice, nor judgment. Therefore, they must remain filthy still.'
A powerful magnetism is thus quietly at work in what at first may seem to be mere philosophical differences. Nevertheless, these result in converging and sad consequences: 'And if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin.' Those who deny the existence of any absolutes in their own ways fulfill this scripture, as situational ethics prevail."

- "Some demand as evidence of His existence that God intervene to stop the terrible consequences of our bad choices.
Once again, the wisdom of President Joseph F. Smith comes to the fore. He observed of human suffering that nevertheless God 'permits' choices to be made by humans of which He clearly doesn't approve.
Besides, without an 'opposition in all things,' where are the isometrics required for individual development, such as when the new self is pitted against the old? Consider this simple illustration by scientist Alan Hayward of behavior when forced by 'compulsory means':
' Suppose for a moment that God made his presence felt all the time -- that every action of ours, good or bad, brought an immediate response from Him in the form of reward or punishment. What sort of a world would this be then?
It would resemble, on a grander scale, the dining room of a hotel ... where I once stayed for a few days. The European owner evidently did not trust his ... waiters. He would sit on a raised platform at one end of the room, constantly watching ever movement. Goods that might possibly be pilfered, such as tea bags, sugar knobs and even pats of butter or margarine, were doled out by him in quantities just sufficient for the needs of the moment. He would scrutinize every bill like Sherlock Holmes looking for signs of foul play.
The results of all this supervision were painfully obvious. I have stayed in many hotels around the world ... but never have I met such an unpleasant bunch of waiters as in that hotel. thier master's total lack of trust in them had warped their personalities. As long as he was watching they acted discreetly, but the moment they thought his guard was down they would seize the opportunity to misbehave.
In much the same way, it would ruin our own characters if God's presence were as obvious as that of the [hotel owner]. This would then be a world without trust, without faith, without unselfishness, without love -- a world where everybody obeyed God because it paid them to do so. Horrors!'"

- "Of course our individual patterns of genes, circumstances, and environments matter very much, for these do impinge upon us and do shape us and our choices significantly. Yet there remains an inner zone in which we are accountably sovereign. In this zone lies the essence of our individuality."

- "We cannot say that [God] would like to help but cannot: God is omnipotent. We cannot say that he would help if he only knew: God is omniscient. We cannot say that he is not responsible for the wickedness of others: God creates those others. Indeed an omnipotent, omniscient God [who creates all things absolutely -- i.e., out of nothing!] must be an accessory before (and during) the fact to ever human misdeed; as well as being responsible for every non- moral defect in the universe."
-- Antony Flew


- "In fact, while God has given us so many enabling gifts in addition to the gift of life, the only real gift we can actually give Him is to submit our will to His. therefore, if a plan opposite to the Lord's plan had prevailed, it would not only have abrogated our agency; it would also have prevented us from giving God the one precious gift, our wills! It is the only one we can really give to Him that is not already His!"

-- "Correction can be such a blessing in life! Sometimes, however, it comes as a very well-disguised blessing."

I'm In Provo!

Okay... Here I am in Provo, Utah. Home of Brigham Young University, the school I wish to attend.

It's Christmas eve. My parents, siblings, and I drove all day through Iowa, Nebraska, and Wyoming to get here. I had to drive through wyoming and it was scary because there were these killer winds! We passed two (2) semis that had toppled over because the gusts were so strong. And there was snow blowing over the road, so I couldn't see anything. Scary...

But anyway, since it's christmas...

And there were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And lo, the Angel of the Lord came upon them, and the Glory of the Lord shone 'round about them.
And they were sore afraid.
But the Angel said unto them, "Fear not."
"For behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day, in the City of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."
And then there was with the angel a multitude of the Heavenly Hosts, praising God, and saying "Glory to God in the Highest! And on Earth, peace, good will toward men!"

100th POST!!

TADA!!!!

It's my 100th post!!!

Let's Celebrate!!!!

Hannah Johnson
CIS English
December 21, 2008
A Family Ministry
"So are ya new here, or just visiting?"
Peter jumped up and whacked the ball away from me as I managed to say, "No, I'm here for an English project..."
"Yeah, Peter," a girl said next to me. "Don't you remember? This is Anna's friend!"
"Oh, yeah! I remember! Sorry, I wasn't here last week. Nice to have you here!" Peter said this all in one breath as the ball came soaring back at him. He swung his arm and slapped the ball off by Justine, who was standing against the wall, away from the action.
Human fooseball is a pretty easy game to understand. It's like a cross between volleyball and soccer on couches. I was nervously sitting in the defense section, praying that the ball wouldn't come to me, and that I might observe the group unnoticed while they batted the ball back and forth between the old sofas and into the makeshift goals. Those hopes were shattered thirty seconds into the game when a boy named Lucas decided to pound the ball toward my head. My arm swung out instinctively and, by some stroke of luck, the ball soared over Meghan's head and into the goal.
"Way to go, Hannah!" Justine called from the far desk.
Peter pompously clapped his hands in my direction as he called out to Linda, the other leader, "We should play this every week!"
So this was what the Youth did at a Lutheran church, huh?
When I first entered into the round sanctuary of Family of Christ Lutheran Church, I didn't know what to expect. I had always envisioned Lutherans to be these tambourine-shaking, Bible-thumping evangelicals who sang songs like "Amazing Grace" all day. I thought that the youth, in particular, would be extremely rambunctious, nothing at all like the strict services I was used to. I always knew that Lutherans were a lot more accepting of newer practices, but I didn't quite know just how accepting they were. Would there be music? Movement? People shouting "I believe" while jumping up and down to an electric guitar? There was only one way to find out. I entered the large sanctuary, bracing myself for the noises and activity I thought would come.
I was caught totally off guard, then, by the peace that greeted me as I entered. The room felt much more solemn, much more quietly friendly than I had ever expected. Already, everyone was embracing each other and talking in hushed voices as elaborate piano accompaniments were playing in the background. I paid special attention to the youth, who were scattered about the room, laughing quietly with members of the congregation filing in and taking their seats. Some were helping pass out programs and hymnbooks. They all were smiling. Everyone was smiling. Based off of this first experience with Family of Christ Lutheran Church, I knew I'd be welcome here.
Churches, of course, often focus on God and spirituality. Family of Christ is no exception, although their ideas and methods of worshiping are like none I had ever seen. Christ seemed to be the focus of each meeting. After the welcoming and announcements, a man in a white robe and colorful scarf entered the room from a side door. He was bald with a gray beard and mustache. This was, I learned later from Anna, Pastor Lee, or Pasta to the youth (on a mission trip to Tanzania, the African youth they visited could not pronounce the word Pastor). Everyone rose as he entered, and once he reached the podium, he gently set a large black binder open on the wood.
Lee spoke with fervor, "Good morning, everyone, let us pray."
I hear the silence of bowing heads and closing eyelids, and I followed suit. I listened as Pastor Lee thanked God for the chapel, safety, and comforts given to the congregation for worship. He spoke of God's mercy and wonder, and asked for a blessing of safety in the cold, icy weather. Then, almost as if not to interrupt the flow of reverence, he quickly muttered, "amen." The congregation nearly whispered their amens in response.
Pastor Lee spoke almost as if he were talking to friends as he gave his sermons. Each week, he'd choose three scriptures from his New Revised Bible, and teach lessons from them. he'd make links to each and eventually lead the congregation into the overall theme of his sermon, which was always centered around Jesus Christ. "Christ will come again, and we have to be ready," he said once. "Let us be more like him and let us not be slow to come unto him. We want him to know us when he comes."
Everywhere, there are small reminders of this principle. Pictures of Christ adorn every corner, and of course, there are crosses everywhere, including a large metal cross sculpture positioned just outside the main entrance, that cast formidable shadows along the snowy yard. This was where people would go to think about Christ, and what he did for them as individuals and as a whole. A strong focus on Christ is what brought these people to church each week.
This was impressed on me the most as I watched the wafers and wine get passed to each kneeling Lutheran during Communion. I made note of the few youth I recognized, up there doing the same thing as the adults. Clasping their hands while waiting for the Pastor to come and drop a wafer into their hands and say, "The body of Christ broken for YOU." Then each member, young or old, would penitently take it and eat slowly, as if thinking deeply about each bite. In ever face, there was no hint of doubt, just sincerity and reverence.
At the end of the service, a rousing song was always sung, and the windows around the sanctuary were opened. The flooding light was a symbol of the light of God in every person's life. During the song, everyone stood, smiled, and some would clap. This was still not the evangelical chaos that I had expected before. It was still solemn, still very reverent.
When I first sat down in the front row with Anna, I got my first taste of Family-of-Christ friendliness. A short, dark-haired woman came up to me from down the aisle and asked pointedly, making perfect eye contact with me, "you know you had your lights on for a while after you parked, right?"
Ah, she had seen me sitting in the parking lot idly, waiting for eight-thirty to come.
"Yes, I turned them off, thank you." I said, sheepishly.
"Okay, just making sure you didn't leave them on, then," she smiled at me, turned, and waddled back to her seat.
That was just the beginning. The start of the service was led by yet another dark-haired, middle-aged woman in dress pants. Her smile would stretch across her face as she'd exclaim, "Welcome to worship! And a special welcome to anyone who's visiting us today!" It seemed as if her goal was not just to welcome newcomers, but to beckon them. The same inviting attitude was present as she read off a list of upcoming events held by the church: Ladies' Circles, Craft and Bake Sales, the Children's Choir, and so many more. "We'd love to see you there!" she'd cheer after each announcement. She also mentioned what felt like countless amounts of youth activities going on during the week. Clubs and dances were held on Saturdays. Service opportunities like Feed My Starving Children were available on weekday nights. And on Wednesdays, there was always a social activity for the highschoolers. There were so many ways to get involved. This was much more than just a Sunday morning church. This place was open every day of the week.
Then the woman asked three of the new families to come up. Anna whispered to me that this didn't happen often, but when it did happen, it was a big deal. These three couples who had recently moved into the area all had young sons, and as they'd peek from behind their parents' legs, an "Awwww!" would echo across the crowd.
"Tell us your names and whereabouts you come from!" the welcoming woman said, and each of them then would sheepishly spout out their names. Pictures of these families appeared in the newsletter a week later. I also saw their faces up on one of the many cork boards found in the chapel hallways. this one was titled, "Hey, Who's That!?" A little note was listed under their names that ended with, "Welcome, Children of God! We're so glad you are here!"
Service was an integral part of being a member of the church. The whole congregation gets involved. Service groups would baby-sit children, prepare meals for the poor, and visit those in a hospital. They would pray for those in need, and do all they could to help. For the youth, service was key. The highlight of their ministry was the mission trip to Tanzania, where they would assist and help the poor African youth who lived there. "It was an amazing trip," Anna told me as she showed me a scrapbook she had made of the journey. She also showed me the letters the African children had sent back. Their English was rough, but it was easy to see that these kids were thankful for their service. Each of them would end with "God bless you."
Another opportunity the youth had was to sleep in cardboard boxes in recognition of the homeless. A hallway cork board displayed photographs of the youth spray painting and drawing on each box in vibrant blues and greens. Those same boxes were hanging in the youth room downstairs.
Another fellowshipping activity known in the Family of Christ is the Exchange of Peace. "It's simple," Anna told me as everyone stood up. "You just shake a person's hand and say, 'Peace unto you!'" With that, she took my hand and shook it wildly. soon I was bombarded with handshake after firm handshake. Each member would look me in the eye and say, "Peace be unto you." Trying to be just as good as they were at making eye contact, I managed to croak out the word, "Peace." As each week wore on, I began to feel more comfortable, and I began to understand more fully what this did to the congregation.
The word peace. What does it mean to Lutherans? "It's the love of Christ," Pastor Lee explained during one of his sermons. "Every one of us here is a unique and special part of Christ's ministry here. If we loose one of us, we loose part of that great ministry. We need to unite together and understand one another." The exchange of peace, as well as the welcoming of new families and other fellowshipping routines, help bring the congregation together into this ministry. Everyone treated each other like children of God, and love was everywhere.
This was the time where I first got to see some of the youth I would later associate with after the service. It was surprising how mature they acted in this setting. Everyone was quiet. Two girls who sat in front of me didn't even pass notes back and forth; they just sat and listened, totally in tune with what was being said. It was very eye-opening to see how even the youth can contribute to the congregation by doing nothing more than listening.
Even the children were reverent. Pastor Lee would bring them up and have them sit behind the podium, and he'd give them a much simpler and shorter version of his sermon. Then he'd give them bags filled with Bible story coloring pages and crayons, and they returned to their families. These children were never loud during the service. They smiled and whispered, once in a while, but never did they cry or yell. There was a "listening room" alongside the sanctuary for parents with fussy children to go if things got noisy, but never once have I ever seen it used. I still, for the life of me, don't know how that was able to happen. But no matter how it happened, but the silence from even the children increases the peace in the room.
The youth were always participating in the actual service, as well. Each week, different teens would carry a gold torch into the sanctuary and light the candles, bowing before and after they left the front dais. During the service itself, kids would get up and read the lesson scriptures at a back podium, or they would recite prayers with Pastor Lee.
Then, of course, there was the whole youth group meeting after the regular service was over. That was the wildest part of Family of Christ. Anna led me down the stairs to what obviously looked like a basement. The walls were pasty, the ground was nothing but cement, and ventilation tubes were left exposed in the ceiling. But upon entering the youth room, a whole new world came into being.
This was nothing like the calm service I had just attended. I could hear girls squealing with each other as they talked about the new Twilight movie that had just come out. Boys were talking about the Vikings game they would attend in the afternoon. Christian rock played loudly. There were tons of couches. At least eight, all circled around about a giant space. High windows let the sunlight shine upon the posters, hubcaps, cardboard boxes, photos, and other things tacked all over the wall. Rugs were spread on the floor, twisted and wrinkled, with litter spilled all over them. There were about twelve kids already inside, sitting on couches, eating popcorn, and throwing pillows at each other. It was the perfect teen room, if I had ever seen one. Suddenly I felt right at home sitting on a brown-floral couch next to Anna.
The leaders, college-aged Jenine and a much older Linda, would bring everyone together at about eleven fifteen. The kids would clamber onto the couches and talk about good things and bad things that happened to them that week. Jenine and Linda would then teach a heartfelt lesson. They'd read Bible verses, give surveys, tell stories, and then ask the kids to give their own thoughts. They often would get so caught up in a story the kids would spin, they'd end up going into a long tangent that had nothing to do with the lesson, but the message was always there.
Then the kids would get a chance to ask questions about the Bible or about Jesus.
"Do you know if it says anything about Barrack Obama in the book of Revelations?"
"People I talk to say that Jesus was married. Is this true?"
Together, the youth and leaders would try to answer these questions. They’d read together, express their thoughts, and finally reach conclusions about a subject. It was obvious that the kids felt comfortable here. Many were willing to open up and discuss things that they weren’t even sure about. I later looked at a poster in the room of all the group’s values and guidelines. At the top of the list, there read, "Trust."
"Our goal is to have the kids trust us and each other, so that they know where to go with their problems," Linda said. "That's why we have such strong confidentiality standards and trust exercises." The goal here was to create a place for the kids to talk about God in a casual, teen-friendly environment, and to learn something from it.
Music served as a link that brought the kids together. They'd listen to tunes like, "Blessed be Your Name," where the leaders would post the lyrics on an overhead projector. The kids who knew the song would sing loudly along, while the kids who weren't as familiar would form the words with their mouths, listening and taking in each lyric. The rock music was catchy; I couldn't help but tap my foot. I had no idea that worship music could be this hip.
Then there would be times for fun, like the day we played human fooseball. That was the time the kids would really get to know each other. I met Peter, a jokester who would pick on all the girls. I met Todd, who loved football and watching movies. I met Meghan, who loved the color pink. These Youth became my friends.
Jenine and Linda became my friends as well. They loved the kids they taught. You could see it by how they would light up when the youth would tell them something good that happened to them that week. You could see it in the way they'd toss the ball back and forth to each of the kids during human fooseball. "We gotta love one another first," Jenine said as the kids circled up for a final prayer before they split up and traveled home.
And there is plenty of love. Within the whole church, love is what guides this culture. Love of God, love of themselves, love of each other. I felt loved every moment I was with them. It did not matter if I wasn't a member, or if I said nothing at all, they were there to show they love they believed to be of God.
Family of Christ is exactly that -- a family. There is unity and a common goal that permeates in this culture. Through their connection to Jesus Christ and their service to each other, especially among the young people of the Church, they accomplish their ultimate goal of bettering their lives, as well as the lives of those around them.