Absence makes the heart grow ponder

I wonder sometimes if absence makes the heart grow fonder. On the one hand, I really do miss people I don't see in a while, but in the meantime there are so many things that distract me and help me forget those "good ol' times."
Take High School, for example. I miss my youth (and I've only been away from home for a semester and a half). I miss my old friends. A dear departed companion of mine called me last week and it was wonderful talking to him again, dwelling on things that really don't matter, but mattered once upon a time. I miss those days when the most important thing in your life was whether or not you made show choir, or if the kid in your calculus class likes you, or whether or not your part-time job is worthwhile. I miss the crazy parties and the "that's-what-she-saids" and the hallways and knowing everyone. College is so much bigger and so much more mature than I think I am ready for. So yes, I do miss high school.
But being away from high school helps me forget it even existed. I can hardly remember some of the teachers I had last year, and while I'd probably jump to see some of my old friends again, I've met so many better friends out here. It's weird. I remember the emotions... I remember crying over a test, but I can't remember what I was tested on. I can remember the fight, but I can't remember what it was we were fighting about. I remember the laughter and the smiles and the tears, but I can't remember who it was that made me laugh or smile or cry. I don't remember the kiss itself, just that I've been kissed. So really, I'm missing emotions, not the actual material memories. And can't emotions easily be reformed, despite the different circumstances? I laugh, I cry, I kiss, I FEEL just as much as I did back home. So why am I so nostalgic?
I think it's because deep in my heart I know that I have separated myself from something that I was comfortable with. I don't like change, because that means I have to try things that I might not be any good at. I might have to make mistakes. I also don't like thinking about what's going on back home that I'm missing. I don't like missed opportunities. Furthermore, I don't like the idea that peoples' lives are going on without me in them. Selfish, I know, but aren't we all in one way or another? I want the old friends I had that were "always there." There will never be a group of friends quite like them.
I'm trying to remember why I wrote this post in the first place... Oh yes. How long is two years? In retrospect, it's just the blink of an eye, but in the meantime, so many things can happen between now and 2012. They will be little things, but little things lead to big things, which lead to bigger things. I might be a totally different person in six months. A week... A day. And where will the old me go?
Does it disturb you that I LIKE thinking this way? It's brain-stretching.

Listening to: "Stricken" by the Disturbed.
Things happening today: ASL lab with a HOT TA, broom hockey, TGIF.