Thursday, November 27, 2008

Good things and Bad things about the Twilight Series

Okay... I don't like this series. Why?

1. Everybody's ranting and raving over it and i just can't hold something that is SO overly obsessed over very sacred. It's lost its value to me. When I was one of the only people who knew about it (2 years ago when my cousin Aubrey and friend Katie told me about the books) it was cool... but now that little amount of interest I had has had its season and now it's just annoying.
2. Despite what just about every teenage girl in America says, there are SO MANY BETTER BOOKS TO BE SPENDING YOUR TIME WITH!!! Right before I read the twilight series, I read the Dark Tower Series by Stephen King. Big mistake. The Dark Tower series was so good. Stephen King is SO GOOD. He's written for over twenty years. He's got the skills you just can't find in Stephanie Meyer. Ask anyone who knows anything about literature. There's just no comparison.Twilight is, basically, teen fluff. I know, I know, teen fluff does have its place. It's good reading when you just want something to entertain you or something to take you away. But oh my gosh, why all the manias about it! That's all these books are! Entertainment value!! You get these cardboard characters like Edward Cullen who just don't exist. Not only because he's a vampire, but honestly, have you EVER met a guy who would totally die for his girlfriend? NO!! They just don't exist in the teenage world!! I, for one, would like to read something that I can actually apply to my life... something I can learn something from.
All I learn from this book is how stupid guys are and how jealous I am of Bella, who isn't that great of a character either. The movie just makes my claim more obvious. What terrible acting!! Well, it was the best they could do. There's not much there to act.

Anyway, now that I've gone on and on about how bad twilight is, i want to say just a couple things about the books and movies I do find beneficial.
1. Stephanie Meyer is a mormon. Big deal for me, because I'm one too. Kinda cool that a member of my church could get this much publicity.
2. Vampires, of course, are an interesting topic. Her take on them is interesting. Not the way vampires were originally seen as at all, but interesting nonetheless.
3. Jacob Black. Realistic character. Worth reading about. New Moon is my favorite book out of the series simply because Jacob Black is the main guy.
4. More about New Moon: For those of you who have felt as if you could just die of a broken heart, this book's for you. I applaud Stephanie Meyer for portraying how painful it is to have someone you love leave you. To not be loved by the person you want to spend your life with. It's deep and agonizing. It explains first love, and first rejection, to a tee. Kudos.
5. Robert. Pattinson. So. HOT!!!!! I don't CARE how bad of an actor he is, or how bad of a singer (if that actually IS him singing "Never Think" on the movie soundtrack). He is gorgeous. I will go to the movie just to look at him forever.
6. Speaking of the soundtrack, it's pretty good. I like Paramore a lot, and Bella's lullaby is pretty and haunting. Alright. My point here is that I'm Tired of this series. If you're gonna spaz over it, spaz over it for the right reasons.

Don't give me this "Oh my gosh they acted so well" or "Oh my gosh Stephanie is such a good writer!" crap.... That's wishful thinking. You know as well as I do that there's much better stuff out there.

A New Book and a Great Movie

So I haven't been on here in a while...

Because I've been struggling through The Host.

I FINALLY finished it.

It took me, what... four months?

The beginning and middle of that book were SO BORING!!! Actually, nothing happened in the whole book. It only got good when relationships started to form. I like Ian in general, and if he did anything particularly sweet I'd start to turn my pages more quickly, but other than that there was hardly any point in reading this.

Basically, Wanda was thinking the SAME THING the whole book. "I love Jared, but I love Ian! I love Melanie, but I hate her!! WHAT DO I DO!!??" There was really no action... no change. The ending was really good though. Although there came a point when I was kind of like, "C'mon Stephanie. Get this over with." I didn't really relish the book. It could have been much shorter and much more exciting. I really think Meyer doesn't do a good job captivating her readers.

Which is why I just can't believe that I'm actually reading Breaking Dawn.

Have I given you my Twilight Series speech? I don't think I have. I'll post that next. It explains everything. I feel a little quick to judge, seeing as I haven't read the last book or seen the movie. But from what I've seen, it just isn't worth all the credit it's getting. But I digress.

I already know how this book turns out, which isn't that disappointing. I wanna get to the lovey-dovey stuff. I, like other girls in this world, like to dwell on fantasy men for a time. I just wish it were done in more eloquent and captivating writing. Curse you, Stephanie Meyer, for writing such a good plot in such bad form!! *shakes fist*

I still want to see the movie, though, but only because ROBERT PATTINSON is in it. What a babe.

Speaking of babes in movies... I saw RED EYE yesterday.

Christian Bale, I think you've just been replaced.

Not that I don't think Christian Bale isn't drop-dead sexy, either... but he's not as... well... WILD as Cillian is. He's Irish *swoon* and he's just got this demonic creepy look about him. It's spooky! In Red Eye he was so... subtly evil. There's just this thing about how he looks at you and you get sucked into his eyes. He's so dangerous and mysterious. That's very attractive to me. :D I love him.

The story in Red Eye was okay... Cillian really made the movie. He was such a good killer... The girl was okay, but she seemed to only have one emotion... this uptight fear. I guess I'd feel that way too if someone came up to me and said he'd been following me for weeks and if I didn't do what he said he'd kill my dad and me... Yeah... I think I'd be scared too.

Whatever. Cillian is mine.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I'm watching a really funny movie in English class called MeanGirls. It's an older movie that I've seen before when I was like fourteen, but it's hilarious to watch it as a highschooler because you relate to a lot more of the stuff you see.

Those Plastics are terrible. That one part when she calls the poor girls mom and pretends to be a teen pregnancy agent is terrible. And the way she cheats on boys... and girls. It's horrible.

I really like Kady's other friends... particularly the girl. She's really smart and has this perfect mix of drama and attitude.

But really, there aren't girls like either of those in my school at all. Everyone's really nice to each other. And no one's that dramatic about anything. Sometimes I wish there were people like that at my school for me to either a.) be a part of or b.) make fun of. People talk all the time about stereotypes and cliques, but really, when you're a senior, all the walls go down. You talk to pretty much everybody no matter what they look at or how smart they are or what activities they're in. Unless you're a total jerk or a total dweeb, people are generally nice to you. And even if you are a jerk/dweeb... jweeb... you usually find a little circle of jweebs to hang with. It's a very friendly environment. There's no real descrimination, and usually everyone gives you a chance. I have so many "popular" friends and I have plenty of "not-so-popular" friends as well, and we all get along.

Anyway... back to the movie.

I think Lyndsay Lohan was a pretty good teenage actress back then when she actually was an actress. She could go from this sweet and gentle new girl to the total jerkface prep in just an outfit change and a wink. Once upon a time she was a good girl... too bad. The only problem i have with her movies is how in them she always seems to have cool stuff... or hang out with people who have cool stuff. She has dramatic friends, dramatic episodes, amazing clothes, stereotypical high school experiences... very unrealistic. And it makes me jealous. I want to have that glamorous of a life, sometimes. Where my room is amazing and I have accessories for everything and I can freak out about boys like she can.

Speaking of boys...

That guy on the show? Jonathan Bennett? HOTTIE!!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Family of Christ

Today I visited Destiny's church for an english assignment.
It was a Lutheran Church called Family of Christ.
I've never been to a Lutheran church before, and it really was different than what I was used to.

For English, I have to observe a subculture and write about my observations... what the group values, what traditions and routines it upholds, what its purposes are, how they communicate as a groupe, etc.
This is a great assignment, but in it I'm not allowed to show any real bias. So I'd like to take the opportunity to talk about things I thought about when I watched/participated in the service.

-- First off, there was a lot of prayer recitation.
There was this one prayer everyone said that basically said, "I am not worthy. I confess my sins. God please forgive me." That sort of puzzled me. What if people weren't ready to confess their sins? Would they just not stand up and say the prayer? How embarrassing would that be? I personally feel like confessing your sins isn't something that should be loud and bold like that. Something so obvious that it can't really help the people who need it.
Furthermore, I didn't like the idea of reciting a prayer already written like that. Mormons have very few memorized prayers. And none of them are recited by entire congretations. They're more for the ordaining of covenants. I don't think that people should have to say exact word-for-word prayers in order to talk to God. It's impersonal and people oftentimes don't really feel the words they're saying. I believe that Christ taught us that we shouldn't say plastic prayers. We should talk to God as if we are talking to a best friend, a father, our creator. He knows us, so I think we should talk about ourselves and our own relationship with God. No one can dictate what that relationship is and how it should be. Instead of reciting prayers, we take the sacrament with a sincere heart. We don't need to say anything. We simply partake of the bread and water and remember Christ and what he's done for us. It's a much more subtle and reverent way to show submissiveness and humility.

-- The music in the service was very different. There was not only a piano, but there was an electric keyboard and two guitars. The music we sang itself was upbeat, syncopated, and had very modern-sounding lyrics. While these songs were rejuvenating and fun, they kind of broke the spirit I felt during the sermon. I don't think guitars and pop music belong in a service of worship. It's like bringing the world into God's house. Reverent music can be happy -- even fun -- while not breaking the spirit.

-- What I DID like about the church there was that there was such an emphasis on service and brotherhood. They do so much to serve people! Feed My Starving Children, Mission Trips, fundraisers, so much service! They also prayed for those who were less fortunate, and there were times during the service where we would shake hands with each other and say "peace be with you." I liked that. I didn't like the formality of it, but I liked the message that sent. We should be kinder to our fellow men. We should serve each other. Because if we serve each other, we serve God. And isn't our purpose in coming here to prove that we are willing to serve God? I'll think about this when I associate with those around me from now on.

In general, it was an eye-opening and interesting experience. I'm excited to go next week and take more notes.

Saturday, November 8, 2008


Thaddeus really insulted me the other day.
He was angry that I would follow a religion who supports bans on gay marriage like Proposition 8 in California. I couldn't take it anymore, so I signed off right away.

Now I'm not talking to him. I haven't talked to him for like three days now. I'm trying to see if I can go a week without saying anything to him. I'll only start talking to him again before that if a.) He really REALLY comes begging for forgiveness, not just with the couple of texts and the cheesey email he sent. I want to know that he actually WANTS to be friends with me, and not just for the fact that I'm someone to talk to. or b.) I can't take not talking to him anymore... but I'm not going to let that happen.
Apparently the Redhead is going out there to Florida to visit him. Yuck. I don't want to think about that and I SURE don't want him talking to me about it all the time, which I'm sure he will do. That's mostly why I'm steering clear for a few days.
As I've said, he's made a couple of attempts to talk to me. He sent me this really sadly cute email the other day saying he felt really bad and he was being a jerk and he'd make it up to me and we wouldn't talk about those kinds of things again if I didn't want to. I was touched, but not convinced. I want to see HIM suffer for once. I want to have some control over what I do about him, and this is how I'm doing it. I hope he sees that as a strength in me and not a weakness.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Top 8 Reasons why Skirts are amazing

1.) They're things only a girl can wear, really. Think about it... out of both genders, girls are the only ones who have the option to wear a skirt and not totally break a social norm. Sure, I get it... guys wear kilts... and some guys wear dresses... but my POINT here is girls have an extra option, so why not take advantage of it!
2.) They keep you cool in the summer. There's air that can circulate around your legs that you don't feel when you wear jeans.
3.) They can keep you covered. For a girl like me, it's important to have things that are modest. Skirts often have elastic waists and extend below the knee, so I never have to be afraid of showing too much midriff or thigh. And for you girls out there who don't think modesty is that big of a deal, there are plenty of shorter skirts just for you...
4.) Because many skirts are drawstring or elastic waist, they can continue to fit you as you grow. That's always a plus... not having to get rid of the clothing you love because you've outgrown them.
5.) There's so much VARIETY... Escape the boring, humdrum life of denim and cotton... why not try silk or tulle? And then there's the COLORS... It's not often you see someone wearing amazing purple-and-blue paisley pants, but with a skirt, it's amazing! Some can be poufy, others can more fit to your body shape... There's so much to choose. And because of this variety, a skirt can go with basically any top.
6.) They are quite flattering. Sometimes, when I haven't exercised in a while and I want to cover up my big legs, I wear a skirt.
7.) You can wear cool high-heeled shoes with them. With pants, the shoes get covered up... with shorts, it's like "HEY, SAILOR!" Skirts are perfect.
8.) They twirl when you spin :)


Tears in my eyes
On my cheeks
Curling my hair
And eyelashes
And making my makeup bleed bleed bleed.

I try to see, but all's a blur
For all i see are tears.

Tears on my hands
And wrinkling my fingertips.
And my palms
On my fingernails
They hit my open wounds and burn burn burn.

I feel their sting, but do nothing
For there's a greater sting that lies within.

Tears on my piano keys.
Tears on each page
Making the ink of my pen run
Tears on the floor
See them fall down down down.

Tears hurt my eyes as they are shed.
But the tears that hurt most...

Tears on the keyboard.
As i sink each key downdown downdown
I gaze at the letters...
Gaze at the screen...
And type nothing but TEARS TEARS TEARS


A Simple Thing

You drove me home
That final night
I had a feeling things weren't gonna be alright...
You stopped the car
And looked at me
And saw the tears I didn't want you to see...

You gave a smile
I won't forget
The kind of smile I used to always regret
You then unlatched
My safety belt
Saying goodbye always makes my heart melt

You said so long
You silly thing
Turned on the radio and you started to sing.
I reached for you
I couldn't breathe
Rested my head so I could hear your heart beating
You gently touched
My mottled hair
I breathed in deeply and I knew you were right there.
You sang each note
I felt each word
It was the greatest sound that I had ever heard.
Suddenly I felt this funny feeling.
Something inside me sent me reeling.
This was such a simple, simple thing
But I couldn't leave you.
I didn't want to leave you.
Oh, I didn't want to leave you.

Forever passed
Then I woke up
A thousand nights of this just wouldn't be enough.
I want you close
Just want you near.
To sing that song I'd give forever just to hear.
Now it seems forever's come and gone
But I can still remember that same song
The song that spoke about a simple thing
And I want to find it,
I feel so far behind it.
Woah, I just can't seem to find it.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Things My Drama Director has Done to Piss Me Off:

1. He makes everyone feel like they've done stuff wrong. He does not applaud those who do well, but he instead throws a blanket of criticism over everyone, hoping that the right people will take it to heart.
2. Individual stories that just get my goat...

a.) There's this sixth grade kid who plays the boy Tom in the show. He's so cute and he does so well with his lines and he's got such a cute little voice and he is just so innocent and perfect. All the students love him... too much. When my director was particularly angry, he brought the whole cast on stage and started yelling at individual people in front of everyone. He turned to that adorable good little kid and said, "You missed your cue. Why?" Of course the child couldn't answer, and so my director continued. He said, "Was it because you're so cute that none of the students can leave you alone? Huh? What's going on?" And believe me... It didn't sound nice, the way he said it. Then he said, "Don't let that happen again." I cried. That poor kid got yelled at because of something the cast did. Not cool.
b.) A woman in the cast missed a cue. Afterwards, my director turned on her in front of the cast and said, "You want to be assistant director for the next show, don't you? Well, your behavior sure doesn't show it. I don't understand how you can behave so rudely and still think you can get that position!" He said that in front of the WHOLE CAST. How mean is that? Not only was she embarrassed for missing her cue, but she was also embarrassed now because she could not get the position she wanted because of one mistake. Terrible.
c.) That same woman got yelled at just yesterday because she wasn't wearing her costume. My director said to her, "You will wear your costume, no matter how much you don't like it! I'm sick of having you not wear something simply because you don't think it looks good! How rude!" Well, the truth was that her costume was getting hemmed. She couldn't wear it because the costume ladies had it. My director jumped to a terrible conclusion and hurt that same woman even more. Horrible.
d.) There's this group of kids in our show that hang out a lot together. They laugh with each other and share inside jokes and make nicknames for each other by adding the word "Da" to the end of their names. It's really cute and they are very nice people. But sometimes they just chat too much, and they get in trouble on occasion. Well, My director just a few days ago gave them a group name: "The Das" and he said that everyone in that group should watch their back or else they'll never get into any shows. "They're like a fatal disease... 'The Das'..." How rude is that? Not only does he group a bunch of kids together and say that they're ALL the problem, but he calles them diseases! Rude.

3.) He expects too much of us as a high school theater. He demands perfection, and if he doesn't get it, he yells. And he uses fear as a tactic to get us to do what he wants. Sometimes it actually works. But most of the time, it just gets us mad and upset. He says things like, "You guys only have a week left to rehearse, and you need well over three to be ready to actually show this to people." Or he says, "This is not the show BHS should be putting on. This is terrible." and "Do none of you care? You're ruining this show!" He's so pessimistic! And when there are people in this cast who are trying very hard, it's difficult to hear such criticism.

I am hating this show. So much. I almost never want to do another show again because of this one. I don't do anything, and the things I do do aren't ever noticed or appreciated. The angst among the cast makes them grumpy and upset, and I hate all the drama. Plus there are about a hundred things I SHOULD be doing during that period of time! Grrrr.... I want this show to be over!!!